M for Mess?

Luke & Noah were back on As the World Turns today and the mess of a storyline they're in the middle of is still going full steam ahead. I've said many times how much I hate the way the writers on this show go for the big, ultimately meaningless, Plot of the Moment and then move quickly on to the next, but in this case I'm going to be so glad once this story is over and can be forgotten.

Today's show started with Noah, Luke & Kevin (you know, Luke's high school best friend/crush from whom he recently stole a student election?), of all people, walking together in Old Town, having just come from Reg's memorial service.

It turned out that the guys had run into Kevin at the service. He offered to buy them some coffee (as I'm sure Al Gore offered to buy Bush a coffee the first time they ran into each other after that whole silly Florida thing) and of course they came across Elwood at Java, where Luke got in his face and once again accused him of murder. The story is ridiculous, but I guess it's kind of hot to see Luke being so aggressive.

After Elwood left, Kevin told Luke & Noah that he actually lives across the hall from Elwood in the dorm and can keep an eye on him if they like. When Kevin left, Luke made it clear to Noah that he doesn't trust his old friend's offer and thinks they should do the logical thing: break into Elwood's dorm room and look for evidence themselves.

Noah seemingly talks Luke out of that particular crazy idea and then leaves for class, whereupon Luke immediately heads to Elwood's dorm room. I'll take the time here to point out yet another ridiculous plot hole in this thrown together joke of a story: Elwood was sent to prison last year after stealing priceless manuscripts from Oakdale University and trying to frame Casey for it. The same University that expelled Luke for rigging a student election seems to have no problem with Elwood returning to school there after stealing way more than an election from them.

Anyway, Luke begins his search of Elwood's room and no sooner has he found an ominous slip of paper with the words 'I got you covered. M.' typed on it than the door opens to reveal Elwood, Kevin, and a security guard who demands that Luke come with him.

Luke calls Noah to bail him out and his boyfriend is surprisingly sympathetic about the whole thing, especially after Luke says for at least the tenth time in this episode that "Reg was our friend!" Again, just saying that all the time doesn't make us believe it. It would have been nice to have seen a friendship between the three onscreen first so that Luke's reaction would be a bit more realistic.

Margo, the Chief of Detectives, is less sympathetic about Luke's illegal search for evidence and tells him that he could be facing serious prison time for his felony. Even worse, she's calling his parents! While Margo calls Lily, Luke gives Noah the piece of paper he found and asks Noah to try and find out who M is, since it could be evidence.

Now, if I found a piece of paper with that message, I'd assume it meant something like "I'll cover your shift at work." or "I'll cover you for the notes you missed in class today." Luke seems to have a sixth sense about this paper and its true meaning, though, and Noah agrees to do what he can to find out who M is.

Lily arrives and reads Luke the riot act and wonders when he'll learn that his self destructive behavior affects people other than just him. When Elwood shows up, Lily asks him not to press charges, pointing out that Luke had just come from his friend's memorial service and was distraught and not thinking clearly. Elwood agrees to let it go, if Luke will apologize.

After some grandstanding about not apologizing to Reg's killer, Luke listens to Noah when he points out that standing by his principles is getting him nowhere and isn't fair to everyone who cares about him. Luke apologizes like a five year old boy who clearly doesn't mean a word he is saying and is then free to go.

Noah, meanwhile, has given Casey the slip of paper and asked him to think about who M could be. Shortly afterwards, Casey stumbles across his old prison cellmate Matt in the hospital drug supply room. Subtlety is not their strong suit on this show.

Luke & Noah head to Java, where they run into Kevin, who tells Luke he had nothing to do with calling security on him and means what he said about keeping an eye on Elwood for them. Luke still doesn't trust Kevin, but Noah thinks he's being sincere. Noah asks Luke to let the cops handle things where Elwood is concerned, pointing out that one person has already died and he doesn't want Luke to be next. This prompts Luke, that drama queen from a long line of drama queens, to tell Noah not to be dramatic! This line alone almost made me forget for a second, in my laughter, how much I hate this story.

They say you should be careful what you wish for, and whoever they are, they're right. I've wanted Jake & Van to have more screen time for a long while now, but I forgot that if my wish came true, it would mean that they'd be stuck in the middle of stories just as badly written as the ones their co-stars endure on this show.

They're doing their best with this mess, but I can't help but feel sorry for them. They deserve much better material.