Kish: The Aftermath

Today's Kish scenes on One Life to Live started with a phone call between Fish, who was at his apartment getting ready for work, and Kyle, who was still at the hospital with Nick. Oliver shared the news that 'Layla and Cris are going at it again!' and Kyle was glad that somebody was getting lucky at least! He apologized to Oliver for cutting things short the night before.

Fish told him not to apologize and that they'd both been where they needed to be: Oliver catching the bad guys and Kyle being there for Nick. They both wished they could have been in two places at once, though.

Kyle told Fish that Nick was still hurting but in stable condition and Fish promised his boyfriend that the guys who did it would pay, and that he'd call with an update once he was at the station.

Layla and Cristian, meanwhile, were trying to sneak past Fish on their way to the bathroom, clad only in bedsheets. Fish spotted them, of course, and once Cristian had awkwardly excused himself to clean up for work, Fish offered Layla a variety of hearty breakfast choices, commenting that she must be starving.

Layla was embarrassed and asked if Oliver had heard her and Cristian, and he told her that the walls had shook. Layla apologized, but Fish told her that he was glad that she was getting 'her socks knocked off by someone who deserves them'. When Layla didn't respond right away Fish thought he'd put his foot in his mouth, but she quickly assured him that it was the most perfect thing he could have said in that moment.

Fish told her that he was really happy for the two of them and knew they'd waited a long time to be together. Layla asked how his date with Kyle had gone and Fish broke the news about the gay bashing, which struck a nerve with Layla beyond just the average person's horror at such a crime, since her sister Evangeline has been in a coma for the last few years as the result of a racist attack.

Layla made Fish promise that they'd throw the book at the animals who'd attacked Nick just for being who he'd been born to be.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Kyle woke Nick up from a nightmare and assured him that things were okay and that he was there for him. There were soon joined by Marty, who wanted to talk with Nick in her capacity as a psychiatrist, just to make sure he was dealing with what had happened.

Nick assured her that he was okay and ready to put the bashing behind him and move on. He started talking about the big door to door canvassing he had to work on for the LGLA (Llanview Gay & Lesbian Association) next month. Marty interrupted to tell him that he'd been through a very traumatic experience and that they needed to make sure that he could get a handle on things before they got the better of him.

Nick: What's going to help me get a handle on things is just getting back to work.

Marty: Okay, but sometimes getting back to work means hiding in your work.

Nick: My work is about being out. There's no hiding for me.

Marty: Let me ask you something. Do you feel comfortable with being out in public? (Nick looks suddenly terrified) Because it seems to me that what you do not only takes a lot of courage, but it also takes a lot of faith in your fellow man.

Nick became upset at that point and when Kyle asked him what was going on, Nick lashed out at him, telling him to stop. Kyle started to leave, but Nick took his hand and asked him to stay.

Nick recounted the story of what had happened to him once again, apparently at Marty's request since she was taking notes. When he was done, he said that he'd brought all of it on himself.

Kyle: What?!

Marty: No, it's all right. Let him talk. We're just talking here. Why would... what makes you feel that way?

Nick: If this would have happened even a week ago, I would have chosen my words more carefully. I would have never walked into that alley by myself at night, you know? But Llanview elects Dorian Lord Mayor and I'm acting like it's gay pride, morning, noon and night.

Marty: Well, Dorian's stand on gay rights is something to be proud of.

Nick: When I shot my mouth off, I put everyone in that bar in danger!

Kyle: You did not put anyone in-

Nick: A waitress got pushed trying to help me! And a bartender, he got punched standing up for me. I don't even know their names! And what if it was Amelia? What if it was her that got jumped? What then?

Marty: Nick, would you feel it was Kyle's fault if the same thing happened to him?

Nick: No.

Marty: It's okay to wish it didn't happen, but the fault for what happened lays one hundred percent with the people who attacked you. Everyone, everyone has the basic right to live free from attack.

Marty urged Nick to focus on that and save his strength for what was coming next: making sure the guys who bashed him were held accountable for what they did.

I have to say, this scene was very well done and Nicholas Rodriguez did a really great job playing Nick's guilt and self blame. Brett Claywell was also fantastic with Kyle's mostly non verbal reaction to Nick's dialogue. Of course Susan Haskell was also great as Marty, but that pretty much goes without saying!

It seemed very realistic that Nick would blame himself, as many victims of such crimes do. I thought it was especially poignant that in his mind, he'd 'shot his mouth off', when in point of fact, he'd been the one trying to just get away from the guys while it was Amelia who'd stood her ground and done all the talking.

Marty recommended that Nick see a therapist, at least for the first few weeks of his recovery, and that he not be afraid to lean on his loved ones for support. Nick told her that his family lived on the other side of the country and Marty, looking at Kyle, said that he obviously had friends he could count on.

Nick said that there was Amelia but that she wasn't there. Kyle explained that he hadn't been able to reach her, that her phone was turned off. Nick assured them he'd be fine, but Kyle told him that he was there for him, too, and not to forget that.

Fish arrived just at that moment, with some mug shots for Nick to look at. They needed him to identify his attackers and Fish told him that a positive ID would keep the guys locked up until their trial.

Nick sifted through the mug shots, visibly upset each time he came across one of his attackers, but he identified all three. Fish assured Nick that the three of them would be going away for a long time, but then looked nonplussed when Nick laid his head against Kyle's hand, which was resting on his shoulder, and Kyle responded by placing his other hand on top of Nick's head.

That was all for today. Strong scenes, once again, though I'm still swooning over yesterday's love scenes and probably will be for awhile!

As the World Stops Turning

CBS, which cancelled Guiding Light earlier this year after a 72 year run, has now decided to put an end to As the World Turns next September, by which time it will have been on the air for 54 years.

The writing on the show has been so terrible for so long now that it became increasingly obvious that the powers that be didn't want to save it. If they had, the low ratings and atrocious writing would have lead to a shake up behind the scenes some time ago. Instead, they let things continue as they were and I will always believe that they wanted to bring about the end of the series.

This is a huge loss, not only because the show has an incredibly rich history, but also because it has what I truly believe to be the most talented cast in daytime TV. Their talents have been greatly wasted over the last few years, yes, but all it would take is a head writer and an executive producer with some talent and things would have turned around instantly, at least in terms of quality, and rising ratings could have followed.

As The World Turns, as bad as it has been these past few years, did give us the first gay male character from a core family, and it also gave us daytime's first gay male supercouple in Luke and Noah. Their story was rarely, if ever, well written, but they were a trailblazing couple in a groundbreaking story that saw daytime's first kiss between two men. There would be no Kish without Nuke having lead the way.

I haven't managed to keep up with the story over the last couple of months, but I still feel very invested in Luke as a character, thanks to the talent of Van Hansis. The coming out story back in 2006 was the best thing I'd ever seen to that point, and as much as I wish the romance with Noah could have played out differently overall, it did provide many wonderful moments between the two.

Daytime as a medium will be down to just six soap operas. The usual hype about finding the show a home somewhere else is starting up, but we heard the same thing for Guiding Light, Sunset Beach, Another World, and probably just about every soap that was ever canceled. In recent years, only Passions found another home post-network cancellation, and that was short lived.

It would be a tiny bit less painful if the networks were at least replacing canceled soaps with new ones. Back in the day, the cancellation of one series always meant the beginning of another (which didn't, of course, endear the new series to the fans of the old one!) but it has now been a full decade since any new soap started and it seems increasingly unlikely that any new soaps will ever be launched on network TV again.

I'm glad the show at least has until next September to wrap things up, but Nuke fans- and I still include myself in that group- will never really get over losing Luke and Noah.

Kish: Incredible Love Scenes

I was completely blown away by the Kish love scenes in today's episode of One Life to Live. Daytime TV has never seen anything like it for a gay couple and I honestly think that even in primetime you'd be hard pressed to find any show that treated a gay couple's love scenes in exactly the same way they'd treat a straight love scene.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. The show started with Kyle and Fish returning to Kyle's place after their date at Ultra Violet. Oliver was clearly feeling nervous and Kyle quickly assured him that they didn't have to do anything, and that they'd already had a pretty great first date, just finally being able to walk around in public holding hands like any other couple.

Kyle told Fish that it would feel right if it ended up being the night they made love for the first time, but only if Oliver was ready. Fish responded with a kiss and the two headed for the bed, holding hands. Oliver spotted a gift waiting on Kyle's bed and asked if it was for him. Kyle had never seen it before but it turned out to be from Roxy, along with a note telling him to 'have fun with Trout' and be safe.

Fish couldn't believe that Kyle had told Roxy about their night, but Kyle explained that Roxy is his best friend (awww!) and that he and Fish might not even be together if it weren't for her, since she was the one who'd kept encouraging Kyle not to give up on Oliver.

The present was a box of condoms, of course, which seemed to make Fish nervous all over again.

Fish: ...I'm just not used to this. I just came out and, you know, we never... (gestures towards the bed) we never did this.

Kyle: Okay, I know. But you don't have to be embarrassed Oliver. I love you. And you love me.

Fish: True. That is true.

Kyle thought some mood lighting would make Fish feel better and after he'd lit some candles and they'd adorably toasted to a happy first date, the love scene truly got under way. It was complete with a romantic song playing (anyone know what it was?!), and all the lingering looks, slow undressing of each other, tender caresses, and kisses that you'd expect to find in any love scene on a soap when a popular couple is about to make love for the very first time.

This scene was too beautiful to just describe, so do yourself a favor and check it out here. I'm not ashamed to say that this scene made me cry, in a good way! It was just so amazing to see this at long last, not just for Kyle and Fish, but as a groundbreaking moment in daytime TV.

A gay couple had never before had the kind of romantic, sexy love scene on daytime TV that is standard for mixed gender couples. Luke and Noah certainly never got a first time scene like this (or, for that matter, any love scene like this, period! They were too busy jumping up and down on the bed like five year olds!) but One Life to Live fully delivered, living up to all my expectations.

Here's the thing, though: they didn't actually make love! They've already had the best gay love scene in daytime history, and it turns out we're not even to the big moment yet! Just imagine what that will be like!

I was surprised to find out that the two had never actually made love in college, though. It always sounded as if they had, but I guess they must have stopped short of that, which makes this all the more special since it truly is going to be Oliver's first time with another man.

The reason they didn't get to have their first time today was that the badly beaten Nick had managed to get himself to the hospital, where he promptly collapsed in front of Dr. Marty Saybrooke. Marty, even though she's a psychiatrist and not an emergency room doctor, sprang into action to help Nick and when she asked him if he knew who'd beaten him up and why, Nick told her it was because he was gay.

Marty called her boyfriend, Detective John McBain, and reported a hate crime and then asked Nick if there was anyone he'd like her to call.

That's when Fish and Kyle's evening was interrupted by dueling cell phone calls: John calling Fish to tell him that a guy he knew had been gay bashed and Marty calling Kyle on Nick's behalf.

Kyle and Fish rushed to the E.R., where Marty told them that Nick had two broken ribs and a concussion and that they were still waiting for test results to see if there were any internal injuries (there weren't). John arrived shortly after that and Fish told him that he wanted in on the case.

Nick told John (and everyone else) what had happened, how it had started in Angel Square and how he and Amelia had been followed to Rodi's and then he'd been jumped in the alley. Nick assured John that he'd be able to identify them and Fish remembered seeing the three guys at the swearing in and said that he'd definitely recognize them if he saw them again.

Fish and John left to try and find the guys, while Kyle stayed behind with Nick, who apologized for ruining his big date with Oliver. Kyle assured him that Fish understood and Nick told Kyle that he just hadn't wanted to be alone. Kyle assure him that he wasn't.

John and Fish made quick work of finding the bashers, who were apparently drinking in the park. They'd barely made it into the police station before Oliver lost his cool and slammed the ring leader up against the wall.

Fish: You beat a guy up for being gay! You kicked the hell out of him just because he's different than you?

Basher: You think we'd touch a queer?

Fish: Yeah, well, you're touching one now!

Basher (affecting a lisp): Oh, stop it, you're scaring me sweetheart!

Fish was about to punch the guy when John intervened, saying the basher wasn't worth it. McBain sent the three down to the holding cells and ordered the cop on duty to 'put the big mouth in with Mitch Laurence'! That little comment, just tossed out in the middle of an otherwise dramatic scene, made me laugh so hard!

McBain: You okay? It's gotta be hard to see something like that happen to a friend of yours.

Fish: Yeah, I grew up with it.

McBain: I'm sorry.

Fish (visibly upset): I felt just like them, except it was me that I hated. The same way that they hate me, and Nick, and Kyle, and Amelia, and everybody like us.

McBain: It's not going to be like this forever.

Fish: Yeah, you know, I'm not so optimistic. I don't think it will ever change.

McBain: There was a time when nobody even knew anyone who was gay.

Fish: Yeah, or they thought they didn't. I should have come out a long time ago.

I liked the message behind this scene, that each person's coming out, while deeply personal, helps bring about real change for all of us. With every single person who comes out, the perceptions and preconceived notions of everyone in their lives are being changed, or at the very least challenged. I thought it was a great way to deliver such a point without really forcing the issue.

I also think that there may well be people watching the show who've never known anyone gay in their personal lives (or realized that they did) and who may be seeing things in a new light now because of Kyle and Fish. That's a pretty amazing thing.

Oliver headed to the hospital to let Nick and Kyle know that the bashers had been caught. After they'd both thanked Fish, Kyle went back to tending to Nick and Oliver went out in the hall alone and looked plaintively at the door. Hmmm. Was the look because Kyle was with Nick, or because Fish was still feeling shaken over the bashing?

That was all for today. I still can't get over how amazing the love scene was, prior to interruption! It certainly helped build the anticipation for their actual first time to a fever pitch! These two are hands down the hottest couple on daytime TV, gay or straight!

Kish: First Dates and Bashings

Kyle & Fish's much talked about official first date took place today on One Life to Live, alongside some truly terrible circumstances for poor Nick.

The show started with Oliver still on duty, finishing up escorting Dorian to her cell. The evil Mitch Laurence (who happens to have once been married to Dorian) was in the jail's other holding cell and when Dorian wasted no time in making a veiled threat against him, Fish told Mitch that he hadn't heard a thing. Fish promised Dorian he'd try and get Laurence moved somewhere else and thanked her again for what she was doing for the cause.

Meanwhile, Nick and Amelia were still surrounded by the three homophobic louts in Angel Square. When Nick told the trio to leave them alone, the guys spouted the usual sort of crap about gays putting their trash in everyone else's face and men marrying dogs being the next step after men marrying men.

Amelia was ready with a quick retort, not being in the least willing to just stand there and take crap from the men.

Thug: You've got a smart mouth on you.

Amelia: Well, I talk for a living. I'm a human rights advocate and I fight for my rights.

Thug: Yeah, we got your position.

Nick: Let's go!

Amelia: Does this make you feel like real men?

Nick: Amelia, there's no point!

Amelia: You're right, because some people just can't be educated.

Thug: Yeah?

Amelia: Yeah. Because to convince people to change their minds, they actually have to have one.

Nick and Amelia left after that, leaving one of the thugs to note to his friends that 'Tinkerbell' (Nick) was nervous and that 'those queers' needed a teaching moment.

I have to say, Amelia pretty much rocks! Of course, in real life it would probably be smarted to just do what Nick did, and get out of there as quickly and with as few words as possible, but I always love seeing LGBT characters standing up for themselves.

As all of this was going on, Kyle was at Ultra Violet leaving a message on Fish's phone to let him know that he'd got to the club early and was waiting at the bar. Oliver walked up behind him while he was talking and surprised him and the two shared a sweet kiss before Fish apologized, saying that he'd had to go home and change first and that Kyle wouldn't believe the crazy day he'd had, what with arresting the Mayor and all.

Fish brought his boyfriend a beer from the bar and Kyle was touched that Fish had remembered what he drank. Oliver explained that for years, every time he heard someone order that brand of beer, he'd instantly be back at the lake with Kyle, and then he'd have to order something stronger to help him forget. That's so sad!

In response, Kyle offered a toast to making new memories. Awww! Kim and Stacy (who is, lest we forget, secretly pregnant with Oliver's baby) were across the bar watching the guys and commenting on what a cute couple they made. Kim felt the credit for them finally getting together belonged to her and Stacy, since it was Stacy's seduction of him that lead to Oliver finally admitting to himself that he was gay.

Kyle hoped that Fish wouldn't be called back in to work that night and Oliver assured him that he was completely off duty. Kyle was glad, saying that he'd been looking forward to this night for a really long time.

Kyle: I don't know if I've told you this, but uh, I love ya.

Fish: No, I know.

Kyle: Yeah?

Fish: I love you too.

They are so incredibly sweet together! This scene left me with a huge smile on my face. The way they were both grinning and looking at each other, it was just perfect.

Nick and Amelia, meanwhile, had gone to Rodi's to get something to drink after their encounter in Angel Square. Nick asked Gigi where everyone was, since the place was so quiet. She explained that they'd all gone to Ultra Violet to see the All American Rejects perform and Nick sadly told Amelia that Kyle and Fish were there, too, on their first date.

Amelia offered a toast to new love and Nick reluctantly joined in, just in time for our three homophobic thugs to join them at their table, asking when Rodi's had become a gay bar. Nick said that they didn't want any trouble and stood up, suggesting that he and Amelia leave.

Amelia insisted that she would not be run off and one of the thugs sneered that they now knew who the man in group was. At that point, Nick's patience seemed to be running out.

Gigi: Excuse me, can I help you?

Thug: Yeah, you serve anything but fruit salad?

Nick (finally getting angry): You know what, back off!

Thug: Or what, you gonna bitch slap me and risk your manicure?

One of the men wondered if Gigi was queer, too, and when she asked him what if she was, another of the guys grabbed her, saying that he could show her how to be a real woman. That's when Schuyler broke in, earning himself a punch in the face (after which one of the guys told Nick "You're next, Mary!"). The thugs then decided to go and find a bar with some 'real men and women' and left.

Gigi wanted to call the police, but Nick and Amelia asked her not to, saying that it was all over and that this wasn't the story they wanted to come out of the day's events. Gigi wondered if things like that happened a lot and Amelia told her they happened too much. Gigi was surprised, pointing out that Llanview was a nice town, and Amelia said it still happened. Gigi hoped that Dorian could change things as Mayor and Amelia told her that was their plan.

Nick suggested that Amelia go and visit her wife in jail and said that he was going to head home. Amelia assured him that things would get better and Nick offered her a ride, saying he was parked out back. Amelia said that wasn't necessary and as soon as Nick headed out alone, it was obvious what was going to happen.

Sure enough, Nick was jumped by the three thugs behind Rodi's and they quickly beat him to the ground and began kicking him. They paused long enough for one thug to ask his buddies "Should we?" which made me worry that this was going to be something even worse than a bashing, that we might be about to see daytime's first male/male rape.

The show ended with the All American Rejects playing at Ultra Violet as we saw a montage set to their song, mostly of happy couples (including Kyle and Fish), but also including scenes of Nick being beaten in the alley. It didn't appear there was any rape involved, though, which is a relief (though, at the same time, it could have made for a powerful storyline and is certainly something that hasn't been done yet on American soaps).

To add insult to injury, the guys dumped the contents of one of the garbage cans behind Rodi's over Nick after they were done beating him, leaving him crying and bloodied in the alley with half eaten food all over him.

For a long time it seemed as if there were only three stories anyone was willing to tell about gay characters, especially in Daytime: coming out, having AIDS, and getting bashed. Thankfully, that has changed, and because, as Kish and Nuke have demonstrated, there are now other stories being told about gay characters, it doesn't seem quite as cliched to have a gay character get bashed, especially since there's no denying that it does happen in real life far too often.

In the context of this story, with Dorian's campaign and her legalization of gay marriage, it does make sense that some insecure, homophobic people would want to lash out. That doesn't make it any easier to watch, however.

I'm glad that it didn't happen to Kyle or Oliver, but at the same time I hope that they didn't keep Nick around just to be bashed. Since they chose to write this story for him, I hope there's more coming for the character beyond just being bashed and the aftermath of that.

So, to sum up the episode, the Kyle and Oliver date scenes were beyond cute, I found Amelia to be pretty awesome in her response to harassment, and I felt terrible for poor Nick. I really want to see him overcome this and land a boyfriend of his own, someone who loves him the way Kyle loves Fish.

Writers Choose Year's Best LGBT Books

I've written a bit recently about the upsetting trends within the publishing industry when it comes to LGBT fiction.

The author of one of my favorite blogs, Band of Thebes, was troubled earlier this year when Washington Post critic Dennis Drabelle responded to a reader's question about new gay fiction by saying “Not many of these are being published anymore, mostly, I think, because the great gay storyline — coming out — isn't such a big deal anymore and has been done to death.”

Band of Thebes' response was to ask many of the established and up and coming authors of gay and lesbian fiction for their own recommendations in regards to the best new LGBT books of 2009. Books which, according to Drabelle, aren't being published all that much any more.

Of course, the publishing industry doesn't make it easy for people to find out about new LGBT works. As Band of Thebes notes,

"Terrific as these titles are, many will be unknown to you. The problems facing all good readers looking for their next great book — shrinking review space, vanishing book sections, disappearing independent bookstores, smaller orders from chain stores, fewer literary titles from mainstream publishers, and limited publicity budgets at small presses — are tripled for anyone seeking lgbt storylines. Traditional media outlets ignore far too many of these books, and publishers often omit gay content from jacket copy for fear of alienating the larger straight audience."

There was quite a response, 56 writers in total, and I was thrilled not only to have so many new books to add to my must read list, but also to find out what many of my own favorite writers- David Leavitt, Stephen McCauley, and Jamie O'Neill to just name a few- had to say.

Kish: Fight For Your Rights

Today's One Life to Live featured some truly awesome scenes in the gay marriage storyline. We picked up where we'd left off, Dorian about to sign what turned out to be her and Amelia's marriage certificate in front of the crowd, with the state Attorney General interrupting to announce that he was 'shutting her down' by order of the Governor.

The AG said that the Governor had understood the 'gesture' of the symbolic ceremony, but gay marriage was against the law. "Not in Llanview. Not anymore," Dorian said, to cheers from the crowd. Well, cheers from most of the crowd. Three drunken louts yelled for the rest of the crowd to let the Attorney General talk, one of them sneering that "the whole town's gone gay!" (Quick, someone tell Rex and Brody!)

The crowd, including two of the shows leading teen characters, Starr and Langston, began chanting "Gay, straight, black, white, Marriage is a civil right" in response.

The AG told Dorian that if she signed the license she'd be going to jail. Dorian pointed out that the state constitution of Pennsylvania doesn't actually say that marriage is between a man and a woman, and the Attorney General said that it was implied. Not according to her lawyers, Dorian retorted, adding that she'd see him in court.

Amelia asked Dorian in an aside if she was sure she knew what she was doing. Dorian: "I had you sign a prenup, didn't I?" I love it! Pure Dorian.

Dorian and Amelia proceeded to sign their marriage license and Dorian, as Mayor, gave it the official stamp making it the first legal same sex marriage in Llanview. In response, the Attorney General ordered Fish, who was working crowd control, to arrest the new Mayor. When Fish asked what would happen if he didn't, the AG told him he'd have his badge.

AG: Officer, you have your orders. Place the Mayor under arrest.

Fish: No, sir.

AG: What?

Fish: I can't obey your order.

AG: She's breaking the law.

Fish: Yeah, well, some laws need to be broken.

AG: That's not your call, officer.

Fish: God, with every single civil rights movement in this country, somebody, somewhere had to break an unjust law to make things right. And that's exactly what Mayor Lord is doing. So that couples like her and her partner, and me and my boyfriend, can have the same rights as every other couple out there. We want to get married someday! Well, maybe. You know, if we ever have a date first.

At that point, Fish took off his badge and started to hand it to the Attorney General, which was a huge decision since being a cop means everything to Oliver. It really shows how far he's come, since a few months ago he was terrified of coming out and losing his job, and now he's willing to sacrifice it in the fight for civil rights.

Dorian stopped him, however, and told him to keep his badge and to arrest her. With the press lapping up every second of the show (and Markko catching it all on film for his documentary) Dorian announced that she'd go to jail proudly for the cause.

What I love about this is that Dorian's motivations are purely self serving,and really what could be more realistic? Most politicians don't make stands for causes just because it's the right thing to do.

Fish escorted Dorian all the way to her cell, where he thanked her for what she was doing for the community. I love that Fish, after so many years of feeling so alone, is already feeling that he's a part of a community.

Back in Angel Square, most of the rest of the crowd had dispersed but Nick and Amelia were still there. Nick asked his friend if the whole thing they'd just witnessed had been a publicity stunt, seeming almost offended by the idea that it might have been. That is kind of odd, since he and Amelia were in on the whole marriage thing from the very beginning of Dorian's campaign and their objective was to get publicity for the cause. But, I won't quibble.

Amelia reminded Nick that, while they certainly wanted publicity, Dorian had just gone to jail for them. Before their conversation could continue any further, they were surrounded menacingly by the three drunken louts from earlier, who referred to them as "Mary and her little lesbo." Uh, oh.

Great scenes today, though. I'm so proud of this show for what it's doing with this storyline. No other show that I'm aware of, not even in prime time, has tackled the gay marriage issue in such a head on way. It's truly amazing.

Homophobic Much, ABC?

ABC is continuing its ridiculous blacklisting of Adam Lambert following his performance on the AMAs. After canceling his performance on Good Morning America last week, they've now removed him from their New Year's Rockin' Eve lineup and from an upcoming performance on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

The double standard behind all this is increasingly evident, especially since AfterElton has uncovered a picture of Pink doing the EXACT same thing (shoving a male dancer's face in her crotch) at the Billboard Music Awards in 2004, which aired on Fox.

There was no backlash then, no outrage, no removing of Pink from scheduled performances. Yet five years later, a gay man does the same thing and the way ABC reacts you'd think Adam had actually received oral sex onstage.

ABC, your homophobia is showing.

Setback in New York

There was bad news in New York State today, where the chance to legalize gay marriage slipped through our fingers. The state Assembly had already passed the bill (for the third time) and Governor David Patterson had promised to sign it into law if the state Senate (which, after the 2008 election, now has a slim Democratic majority) passed it.

Sadly, eight of the thirty two democrats in the Senate chose to vote against the bill, bringing the final vote to 38-24 and leaving the number of states where same sex unions are legal standing at 5.

As with the vote in Maine last month, this sort of thing feels like a slap in the face. It's never fun being told that you are less than everyone else, that your rights can be denied you by politicians. That's just not what America is supposed to be. Shall we vote on mixed gender couple's rights to marry? To have children? The idea is absurd, as should the idea of voting on my rights to marry be.

We will get there, though, and sooner rather than later. Nothing worthwhile is ever given, it has to be demanded, fought for.

Let's Talk

I don't usually watch talk shows. When I was younger, I'd tune in for at least part of The Rosie O'Donnell Show nearly every day after school, but other than that I've never been a big fan of the genre. I usually will watch a show only if there's a guest on that I specifically want to see. These days, that means recording it on the Tivo and fast forwarding through everything but the interview in question.

Over the last two days there have been three interviews I really liked, so I thought I'd mention them.

The first was Adam Lambert's appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday. If there was a talk show I'd watch with any regularity, it would definitely be Ellen's. Not only do I think she's just an amazing person, period, but she's just so funny and yet still someone that seems like she could put anyone at ease instantly.

I had no intention of watching American Idol again this season, since I know there could never be another Adam Lambert and I think anything else will pale in comparison, but with her replacing Paula Abdul as the fourth judge, I might check it out.

Anyway, Adam and Ellen talked about the controversy over the AMAs and Adam again said he felt like there was nothing to apologize for but that he hadn't wanted to offend anyone. Ellen pointed out that if someone was going to be offended by a display of sexuality, they should be offended by all such displays. In other words, if you're not going to be offended by a man and a woman doing something risque, or two women, then you can't cry foul just because it's two men.

Adam: "I think, too, that... people aren't used to seeing gay men portrayed that way on TV. I mean, the gay male image in the media tends to be very cliche and safe. And I think I got up there and had a little bit more energy..."

This is a very good point. I'm so sick of hearing homophobes say that they're fine with gays as long as they don't 'have to see it'. They apparently don't realize how bombarded we all are by heterosexuality everywhere we look. It's time they got over it and realized that them not wanting to see it is their issue, not ours, and we're not sacrificing our equality because they have issues.

After their chat, Adam performed Whataya Want From Me, the song that I am currently obsessed with and listening to several times a day. There are some other songs on his CD that I really love, but that particular one is definitely the best.

The next talk show appearance was by the person whose song was my obsession for the last few weeks, Chris Colfer. I don't even know how many times I've listened to his version of Defying Gravity from Glee since I bought it. Of course, I listen to all of the songs from Glee quite a bit, but something about Colfer's version of that song just gets to me.

Anyway, he was on The Tonight Show last night and I was very surprised by how relaxed and funny he was. I say this because I saw him a few weeks back on The Bonnie Hunt Show and he just seemed so nervous then! Last night, he seemed completely at ease and he was incredibly funny, cracking Conan up with his impression of the kid from The Omen and just generally being quick witted.

Colfer has really blown me away with his portrayal of Kurt. The scenes between Kurt and his father in the episodes 'Preggers' and 'Wheels' were amazing, and Chris impressed me even more with the scenes between Kurt and Finn in 'Ballad' where they bond over the fact that they've both lost a parent. Even beyond those episodes in which he played a big role in the week's story, there are several small scenes in other episodes that seem to stand out more than they would in the hands of a less capable actor.

It's funny, I expected to love Glee for the humor and the music, and I expected to drool over Matthew Morrison (and Mark Salling, aka Puck, was an added bonus in that department!), and I certainly do. I didn't expect, though, that there'd be this completely unknown actor who'd impress me this much and make the character of Kurt truly mean something to me.

Finally, rounding out the trifecta of talk, I recorded this morning's The View to see Kristin Chenoweth. There are certain personalities on that show that really get under my skin, so I have to really like someone to watch them when they visit that particular talk show!

Kirstin was there to promote her new Lifetime Christmas movie, Twelve Men of Christmas, which looks pretty cute and has a bunch of hot, shirtless guys in it! That, plus Cheno, what more could you ask for? Well, maybe a song or two, but even without that, I'll be tuning in.

They talked about her Emmy win for Pushing Daisies and how she asked for work during her acceptance speech. I still can't believe that no one has given this woman the lead in her own show now that she's free!

She briefly mentioned her upcoming return to Broadway in Promises, Promises, but they changed the subject before she could really say anything more about it. That was annoying, especially since they gave far more attention to the fact that she'll be a guest judge on American Idol this season.

The best news is that she'll also be returning to Glee as April Rhodes, which should be pretty fantastic.

Kish: Politics and The Ex

Today's One Life to Live was a Kish episode that also included the return of Nick and saw the gay marriage storyline move forward. As if that weren't enough, this episode featured one of the most over the top, deliciously soapy scenes I've seen in ages: evil Mitch Laurence crashing Jared's funeral by popping out of the coffin mid service! It's not really part of the Kish story, so I won't say more about it, but it was fantastic! God, I love this show so much.

Today's Kish scenes started with Fish and Layla at the station. Layla brought up the fact that Kyle and Oliver's big first date was that night. Fish tried to downplay the importance of that milestone, but Layla told him that millions of people saw him get together with Kyle on TV and they all want to know how it works out for them. Yeah, no pressure there!

We soon saw how right Layla was, though, when Markko Rivera screened for his friends some of the footage he'd shot at the group wedding (he's making a documentary on Dorian's campaign). His girlfriend Langston was sighing over how romantic it was when Kyle & Fish got together and how sorry she felt for Nick at the same time, even though she doesn't know any of them.

Anyway, Layla realized that Fish was nervous and asked what the problem was, since he and Kyle both love each other. Oliver admitted that he just didn't want to disappoint Kyle. Layla pointed out that Kyle had been in love with Fish since college and knew exactly what was he was getting, but Fish explained that he'd only dated women since then, while Kyle had been out since high school and was used to guys who knew what they were doing.

Layla realized (out loud, and with great volume, much to Fish's embarrassment) that Fish was worried about the sex. After pulling her into McBain's empty office so they could talk without the whole station overhearing them, Fish told Layla he was more than ready to be with Kyle, but was afraid that he'd mess it up.

She told him that if it made him feel any better, she'd had a very good time during their night together. Oliver blushed adorably and thanked her, but said it would be different with a guy. Layla told him that the feelings would be the same.

These were great scenes, I have to say. I love that Oliver and Kyle's love life is being treated (in conversation, at least) like that of any other couple on the show, and I think it was a very strong message to send, that no matter what the differences when it comes to sex, the emotions behind it are the same, whether it's two men, two women, or a mixed gender couple.

While Oliver was having this heart to heart with his ex, Kyle was cutting through Angel Square on his way to the hospital and finding himself face to face with his former boyfriend, Nick, who was there to help set up for Dorian's swearing in as Mayor.

Nick was nervous about whether or not Dorian would live up to her campaign promise to issue legal marriage licences for all those who'd participated in the wedding ceremony and told Kyle that he'd learned not to get his hopes up about anything after Kyle had left him at the altar. Ouch!

Poor Nick! It really did suck, the way things ended up for him. I'm glad we're seeing more of him and I'd love to see him stick around and find a guy of his own. Maybe Rex could get tired of the Morasco sisters? I'd suggest Brody, but as hot as that would be, I really do love him with Jessica.

Seriously, though, I really like Nicholas Rodriguez as Nick and I hope the show decides to expand the character and keep him in Llanview. I should also point out that when I mentioned the other day that Scott Evans was currently the only openly gay actor working in daytime, I didn't know that the out Nicholas Rodriguez would be making a return as Nick.

Anyway, Kyle told Nick that he should never have let things go as far as they did, that the two of them hadn't dated long enough to really be in love, and that when he'd heard that Dorian had promised to legalize the marriages he just knew he couldn't make that kind of commitment.

Nick accused Kyle of sounding like a straight guy with all that commitment stuff, but Nick said that he'd actually just realized that there was someone else he loved and wanted to marry someday, and he'd been standing just a few feet away. Awww! But, again, ouch for Nick!

The two then had the old awkward "How are things with the new boyfriend?" talk. Kyle told Nick about the big first date and how, even when they were involved in college, they'd never actually gone out together.

Nick was surprised that they were just getting around to the first date after having been together for a month, but then guessed that they'd spent the ensuing weeks making up for lost time. Kyle told him that they'd actually been taking things slowly and trying to get to know each other again.

Nick was shocked that the two hadn't slept together yet and started to remind his ex that when they'd first been together... Kyle interrupted to say that this was different and Nick said "Oh, right, you weren't in love with me." Nick was really working the wounded angle today! I have to say, it kind of works for him. He's got these big puppy dog eyes that do sadness/hurt/longing really well. You just want to comfort him.

Kyle started to leave and Nick stopped him, apologizing for implying that Kyle only sleeps with guys he doesn't care about. Nick explained that when they'd got together, he'd really felt something for Kyle that he doesn't usually feel, and was hurt when Kyle dumped him (did I mention it was on live TV in front of millions?).

Kyle apologized and Nick said that he'd like to still be friends, that he respected that Kyle was with Oliver but would like to be able to see Kyle. He suggested that the three of them get together for dinner sometime. Personally, I can't imagine anything worse than having to sit and make conversation with someone I really cared for and the guy he loves, but maybe that's just me.

The two shared a hug, which was Oliver's cue to show up to work crowd control for the swearing in and see his boyfriend in his ex's arms.

Nick spotted Fish watching them and quickly told him that it wasn't what he thought. Fish was very calm about the whole thing (he clearly trusts Kyle, which is good) and Kyle explained that Nick wanted them all to be friends. Nick told the guys they were both very lucky and that maybe, if Dorian kept her promise, the two of them could get married.

Kyle and Fish laughed that off, saying they weren't ready for rings yet, and Nick blurted out that of course they weren't, they hadn't even slept together yet, at least not since college. I couldn't quite decide if Nick was trying to stir up trouble with that comment or if he was just nervous and stuck his foot in his mouth.

Either way, Nick quickly excused himself and an upset Fish asked if Kyle had told his ex that they hadn't done it yet. Kyle explained that all he'd told Nick was that they were taking it slow and that they were having their first official date that night. Fish didn't think it was any of Nick's business at all.

Kyle: It's not, okay, I agree, I'm sorry!

Fish: He's the one that should be sorry.

Kyle: He wasn't being nosy, Oliver, it was just talk.

Fish: About stuff that's private!

Kyle: Yeah, and you know how guys can be.

Fish: Yeah, I do! I hear it every day at the station, okay? Guys, gay or straight, guys can be pigs.

Kyle: Oliver, I would never disrespect you. Okay, you know that, right? This is too special.

Fish: You think?

Kyle: What happens between us stays between us, Oliver.

It was totally in character that Oliver would be nervous about being talked about, especially since he's already worried about letting Kyle down in the bedroom. Of course, it was also a bit hypocritical of him since he'd just been telling his own ex the same stuff, but I guess Layla doesn't count because she's a woman?

I thought this was a nice scene, though, and it was made all the better when Fish admitted to being nervous about their date and Kyle said that he was, too. As if knowing that Kyle was equally nervous eased his own mind, Fish assured Kyle that he didn't have to worry, that it was going to be great.

I love these two together so much. They manage to be incredibly sweet and sizzling hot all in the same moment.

Meanwhile, Dorian Lord was preparing to become Llanview's newest Mayor, even though she'd lost the election to Viki Banks by a single vote. Family troubles forced Viki to step aside before she'd even begun her term, though, and the city council selected Dorian as her replacement.

Dorian's campaign manager/symbolic wife Amelia was still on hand, hoping that Dorian would live up to her promises. Dorian, never one for modesty, was caught up in being the star of Markko's documentary, which was to be 'like The Life and Times of Harvey Milk... only hopefully with a happier ending" and was pushing for it to be finished in time for Sundance!

After the swearing in, Mayor Lord was beginning her remarks to the crowd when a day player charged forward to demand to know if she'd be living up to her campaign promise. Dorian announced that she would indeed be issuing marriage licences to everyone who'd been symbolically married the month before, and even held up a licence to prove her point.

That's when she was interrupted by the state Attorney General, who informed her that he'd been sent by the Governor to shut her down.

I again have to say that I'm really impressed with the fact that One Life to Live is taking on a hot button issue like gay marriage in real time! Social issues were, once upon a time, a staple on soaps and I think One Life to Live is leading the way for a return to that sort of storytelling, the kind that can be over the top, fun to watch, and still have meaning.

Scott Makes the List

I was so annoyed at the open letter to Adam Lambert in this year's Out 100 that I didn't pay all that much attention to the rest of the issue until now. The full list is a strong reflection of LGBT life this past year and includes many incredible allies as well.

I was glad to see that Scott Evans made the list, and he was even photographed with fellow honoree Adamo Ruggiero, the adorable out actor from Make the Yuletide Gay. They were put together as The Jocks in the list, which doesn't necessarily make sense but still lead to a hot picture:
I have to say, every photo I see of Scott seems to be hotter than the last! Adamo looks as cute (and as tiny) as a button, to reuse my description of him from the other day, while Scott looks like someone I would have loved to have gym class with!

How did I not know, by the way, that he was in the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic?! What sort of a fan am I?

I had zero desire to see that film, but knowing that Scott has a role in it changes everything. I checked imdb.com and was surprised to see several talented actors in the cast, people I had no idea were in the film, so maybe it won't be as bad as I'd presumed it to be. Either way, it's going to the top of my Netflix queue.

Van's True Colors

This month's edition of the True Colors Cabaret concert took place last night and was hosted by Van Hansis. It featured two Glee stars, Lea Michele and the openly gay Jonathan Groff (or maybe I should say one current and one future Glee star, since Groff hasn't debuted on the show yet).Seeing Van standing next to Lea in that picture makes me want very badly to see him join Glee! Let's not forget that he has a history with Mr. Schuster himself, too, since Matthew Morrison did a month long stint on As the World Turns a few years back. Van has done a musical, last year's Dance Dance Revolution, but I seem to remember him saying at the time that he's not really a singer. Not every character on Glee sings, though, at least not so far. Quick, someone talk to Ryan Murphy about Van!

As I noted last month, this ongoing series of monthly concerts benefits both the True Colors Fund and Broadway Impact. There isn't much I wouldn't have given to be there last night! If anyone was lucky enough to attend, please share the details.

Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Last week, I wrote about the importance of buying LGBT fiction so that the powers that be in the publishing world will continue to see it as something worth investing in. I noted that the gay & lesbian fiction sections at the bookstore I work for (a major bookstore chain) have shrunk drastically in recent years and that independent LGBT bookstores are closing at an alarming rate.

Sadly, another bookstore devoted exclusively to LGBT authors and titles is closing its doors. This time, the store is Out Word Bound, the only store of its kind in Indianapolis, Indiana. They'd been open since 1998 and will be closing after Christmas.

While it isn't of quite the same cultural magnitude as the end of a legendary store like the Oscar Wilde Bookshop, which closed earlier this year, this is still a big loss for the LGBT community in Indianapolis, and for gay literature in general. It's also the loss of a gathering place for the community, which is an equally painful subject. In many communities, such bookstores may well be the only gathering place, outside of clubs or bars, and their loss has a real impact.

The most frustrating part is that they cite the inclusion of LGBT titles in major bookstore chains, like the one I work for, as a reason for the closure, noting that it was the death knell for independent LGBT bookstores. This is especially painful since, as I mentioned, even the big chains are carrying far fewer LGBT titles.

This means that soon there may be very few places left for readers to go at all when they're looking for gay themed books. A genre of literature that sprang up and flourished over the past forty years seems to be dying a slow death now.

We can't let that happen. If you have an independent LGBT bookstore in your area, please support it by shopping there as often as you can. If you don't, then visit a chain store and purchase titles, and while you're there, let the staff know that you'd like to see a wider selection of titles.

If you don't have any way of going to a brick and mortar store to buy these works or if you're not out and don't feel comfortable doing so (believe me, I remember what that was like!) then the Internet is your friend! A lot of independent bookstores have websites you can purchase from so that you can support them even if they're not in your city.

The important thing is to speak with your wallet and let the book world know that there is still an audience out there for gay literature!