Saturday, June 13, 2009

(Belated) Nuke Day: Worst Documentary Ever

Luke & Noah were on yesterday's episode of As the World Turns, but I didn't have a chance to watch it until this evening.

The episode started with Luke showing up at Java to meet Noah. They exchanged a quick kiss hello, and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't start grinning like a fool still whenever the guys share even the most chaste peck on the lips. The Nuke kissing embargo was lifted a long time ago, I know, but each kiss still feels like a little victory.

Noah had asked Luke to meet him in order to run an idea by him for his student film. It seems that after Colonel Mayer's death, the army sent Noah a box of his personal effects (why the army still had his effects, given the fact that the Colonel spent his last several months in prison, is anyone's guess) and it had been in the attic at the Snyder farm ever since, unopened.

Since Noah is doing a documentary about growing up as an army brat and about life with his father, he thought it might be a good idea to open it for the first time on film, but was also worried that it would seem exploitative of what should be a private moment. Luke more or less told him to go for it (since, that's sort of the point of a documentary, no?) and the two set off to enlist Casey and Allison as part of the film crew.

I have to say, Noah's documentary is going to be pretty dull if the opening of the Colonel's effects is any indication of the rest of what Noah has managed to capture on film. With Luke operating the camera and Casey & Allison doing sound, Noah opened a small cardboard box to find a folded flag, a smaller box with a picture of toddler Noah in it, and the Colonel's disassembled gun.

Seriously, that's it? I was expecting this moment to kick off some mystery surrounding the Colonel, and that's all we get? I forgot, though, that this story isn't about Luke & Noah at all, it's about Casey and Riley.

Luke asked Noah if he could assemble the gun for them, but Noah explained that he couldn't since it was army issued.

Allison piped up, completely ruining the shot (she's damn lucky Christian Bale isn't in this movie!), by suggesting they enlist military man Riley to assemble the gun on film. Despite Casey's reluctance to have anything to do with Riley, the foursome immediately halted filming to head back to the Hughes house and find Riley.

Um, okay. I don't get why having the gun assembled on camera by someone who isn't even Noah is that big of a deal, but since this is already the worst documentary ever, what the hell?

Riley freaked out a little about being on camera (that's not suspicious at all), so Luke shut it off, but they still wanted Riley to put the gun together. He refused at first to assemble the gun, which of course was a signal for Casey to get on his case and imply that he was a fraud because he couldn't do something taught in Basic Training.

Margo wandered in at that point and wondered what this group was doing walking around with a gun (which is kind of ironic, given that they've solved way more crimes than Margo has this year) and Riley took that at his cue to assemble the weapon while reeling off a bunch of information about its make and model and the fact that it's the type used in the Die Hard films. Yeah, I'm sure the Colonel was a big fan.

That was it for Luke & Noah. I know that I hate how badly written their own stories always are, but I'm more than ready for them to have a plot of their own again.

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