Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Now Departing Oakdale

Luke & Noah were back on As the World Turns today for the first time since the episode where They Finally Made Love.

The show started out with Jade discovering them on a bench in Old Town, cuddling and generally still basking in the afterglow. It turned out that Noah's roommate in the dorm is on an extended Winter Break, so they've been taking advantage of the privacy there. They were seriously adorable together in this scene, completely believable as two people in love who've just taken a big step in their relationship.

Luke was still worrying about his relationship with Lucinda not being quite what it was pre-Brian, and at that very moment Lucinda was in her office, shredding Brian's personal papers just as he arrived to pick them up.

Brian tried to convince Lucinda that he did love her and that he had believed that things would work out between them, that he wasn't just using her for a cover. Lucinda told Brian she deserves more than that and sent him packing with his shredded documents in tow.

After he was gone, Lucinda called Luke to warn him that Brian had resurfaced. Luke was worried about how his grandmother was dealing with seeing her ex, so he went to check on her in person and the two of them rehashed the whole situation again, with Luke apologizing and explaining why he decided to stay silent.

Brian, meanwhile, showed up at Java to talk with Noah about Luke. When he found out that they'd reunited, Brian cryptically said that was all he needed to hear, that now he can 'end this' knowing that the two of them had worked things out.

Noah asked what he meant by 'end this', but Brian left without answering. Noah, concerned that Brian might hurt himself, followed him back to his hotel room and called Luke when Brian wouldn't answer the door.

Luke was still with Lucinda and filled her in on what was happening. When she refused to come with him, Luke told her to think about how she'd feel if Brian did do something to himself and she hadn't been there.

Brian finally opened the door once Luke arrived and Luke quickly spotted a bottle of pills on his dresser and asked if they were how he planned to end things. Brian denied this, but the boys didn't let him off the hook that easily.

Luke asked if Brian really wanted to live the rest of his life denying who he is.

Brian: What the hell do you know about my life?

Luke: I know that you're not happy.

Brian: I'm sorry I'm not like you, Luke. We can't all live our lives so openly the way we'd like to.

Luke: Why not? You're an adult. What's stopping you?

Brian: I wasn't raised that way. The world was a different place. There was a different set of rules, different expectations. And I can't-

Luke: You can't what?

Brian: I can't reconcile the way I was taught to believe with the way I feel now, the way I've felt all my-

Noah: Brian. I know how that feels.

Brian: Oh, you couldn't possibly.

Noah: I do. My father raised me, it was just the two of us. He was a military guy and he always felt that there was a certain order to things. And who I was, how I felt inside, like you do, it didn't fit with how he expected things to be, how he expected me to be, how he wanted me to be. And yeah, it took awhile, but I realized that I have to live my life, not his.

Brian: Well, good for you Noah. And you too, Luke. No, really, I mean that. You two figured out a way to be happy and you went for it, and I applaud you. But that's not really something that I can do at this stage in my life.

Luke: I think you're exactly where you need to be.

Brian: And where is that, Luke, since you seem to have all the answers? You have no right coming in here and telling me who you think I am and what I should do about it. Just like I had no business thinking that you'd- I'm a middle aged man, Luke, with two failed marriages under my belt.

Luke: Why did your marriages fail?

Brian: Oh, come on, just get out of here.

Luke: I'm just asking a question.

Brian: I don't owe you any explanations.

Luke: Brian, I can see how much pain you're in. You think I don't know why?

Brian: What do you want me to say? You want me to confess that my life has been a big facade? That none of this is what I wanted? That you have everything? Do you know what that would mean?

Luke: I think it would mean that for once in your life you'd finally be happy. Isn't that what you want? I mean, I might be wrong, but-

Brian: Okay, you're right, all right? Is that what you need to hear? That you've been right all along? I'm gay!

Lucinda (walking in): Oh, finally, darling, you allowed yourself to say it. Thank God.


This was a fantastic scene. Laurence Lau was heartbreaking as Brian from start to finish. He really made you feel the despair Brian was feeling, the longing to have had what Noah & Luke have but the feeling that it was too late, that he'd missed his chance. I especially loved that they addressed the very different time that Brian was raised in and the role it played in his inability to accept who he was.

Jake Silbermann and Van Hansis were excellent, too, of course. I especially loved Noah being able to relate to Brian because of the way he was raised himself, and Jake played that part of the scene very beautifully.

Once Brian finally said the words that he'd never been able to say before, Luke & Noah left him with Lucinda. Brian said he felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest and arranged to see a therapist in Chicago. He & Lucinda parted amicably, with both hoping that the other would find that special man someday. The wrap up seemed rushed, but that's As The World Turns these days.

I'm not surprised that Brian is leaving town, but as I've said before I think it would be far more interesting to keep this character around and explore what he's going through. A gay character of his age, newly out, would provide a whole different sort of story that hasn't been seen on daytime before.

Sadly, the show seems to have seen him as more of a plot point in the Luke & Noah story than as a character worthy of exploring on his own. It's truly a shame, because Laurence Lau is a talented actor who really made Brian someone it would be easy to care about and root for.

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