Otalia Update

I haven't written about Guiding Light's first (and, unless the show finds a way to continue somewhere else after it leaves CBS next September, only) LGBT romance between Olivia and Natalia for awhile now, but this was an important week for the couple as they declared their love for each other for the first time.

In true soap fashion, it happened on Natalia's wedding day, as she prepared to walk down the aisle and marry a man.

At the end of Tuesday's episode, Olivia found Natalia in the cemetery, where she was visiting the grave of her last husband Gus. Olivia was there to say an unofficial goodbye to Natalia as she started her new life and they both quickly agreed that they were doing the right thing for everyone concerned by moving on from the life they'd built together as roommates, parting before they became a couple of old ladies sitting on the sofa in matching jogging suits.

Olivia couldn't hold back her tears, though, and when Natalia insisted she tell her why she was upset, Olivia finally blurted it out: "I'm in love with you!"

On Wednesday's show, the conversation picked up where it had left off. Olivia explained to Natalia that because she loves her, she wants her to have the life and the security she deserves. Olivia would never be able to provide that, since they'd have to contend with whispers behind their back, canceled play dates for their daughter Emma, and making things difficult for Natalia's son Rafe, who was recently released from prison.

Natalia: We've done that, we've survived all the whispering and the canceled play dates, and Rafe has survived prison.

Olivia: This would be so much worse! It would just be a world of trouble and I don't want that for you.

Natalia: I've handled trouble before.

Olivia: You're going to get hurt. I can't live with that. I love you, but I don't know what offering my love will do to you. It'll ask you to change who you are and what you believe and then that would make this whole thing a lie, wouldn't it?

Natalia (stepping towards Olivia): Don't you know how much-

Olivia: Don't! (touches Natalia's face and takes her hands): You know where you need to be and who you need to be with. We've got a wedding to get to, come on.

This was an incredibly well done scene and Crystal Chappel, who plays Olivia, was especially fantastic.

The women went forward with the wedding, despite their obvious love for each other, right up until the last possible second. With Olivia standing beside her as her maid of honor, Natalia tried to get through her vows, talking of love as a gift from God, but when she got to the part about devoting her life to the man she was about to marry, she couldn't go through with it. Stealing a look at Olivia, Natalia announced that she couldn't do this and then took off running down the aisle in tears.

Olivia found Natalia outside in a snow covered gazebo (I can't think of the last time such a romantic setting was so well utilized on a soap, and I'm really glad that it was for an LGBT couple!), where Natalia explained that she couldn't marry Frank, as much as she might wish she could.

Olivia: You're not thinking clearly.

Natalia: I am thinking clearly! Probably for the first time I am. I can't marry Frank.

Olivia: Yes you can! You can marry Frank.

Natalia: I don't love him, I love you!

Natalia went on to explain that she'd know her feelings for awhile, but hadn't wanted to face them. Olivia is everything to her, though.

As the two discussed what to do next and where to go from there, the groom happened upon them in his search for his wayward bride. When Natalia faltered in her attempt to explain to him what was wrong, Olivia stepped in and covered by saying that Natalia wasn't over her late husband Gus yet and that it was just too soon for her to marry someone else.

Natalia didn't explicitly confirm this lie, but explained that she'd wanted to say her vows to him, but that she just wasn't free to do so. Her groom was surprisingly understanding, blaming himself for pushing her to wed before she was ready. He agreed to postpone their wedding and she warned that she might never be ready.

After he left, Olivia and Natalia continued their own discussion.

Olivia: What I said about Gus, I said because I knew that you would rather die than have people know about your true feelings. Between us it's one thing, but to own up to it in the real world...

Natalia: Own up to what? What is it that we're feeling?

Olivia: Whatever it is, I know that you're ashamed of it. It's one of the reasons that we've been doing this dance for so long. And it's the reason why we can't do anything about this.

Natalia: So what happens to us?

Olivia: There is no us. You love me, but you're going to hate me one day for this. I can't live with that. I can't.

So, that's where things were pretty much left. Olivia & Natalia finally confessed that they were in love with each other and Natalia didn't get married, but they're still no closer to actually being together as a couple.

The show is at least exploring some new issues for a soap couple, with two mature women who've only had heterosexual relationships before this suddenly finding themselves falling in love with each other while dealing with the fear that their friends, family, and the society they live in will never understand. There is also the issue of Natalia's religious beliefs standing in their way.

The confession scenes were very beautifully done, though, and it really raises my hopes for the future of this couple. Seeing these scenes makes it even more of a shame that CBS has decided to pull the plug on Guiding Light, though there are rumors that Proctor & Gamble is in discussions with the cable network Lifetime to pick up the series. Let's hope that the future for GL & for Otalia will be bright.