There were a lot of moments in this particular wedding that will probably be talked about for years by those who were in attendance, but in the midst of all the fun there was a moment that struck a sour note for me.
The person marrying my friends (who was not a minister by profession) started his remarks by noting that "Anyone can get married, but..." I was standing there, beside the happy couple, and the thought that such a day may not be able to happen for me, at least not legally, for a very long time was already on my mind, of course.
To hear those casual words was a sharp reminder of not only my lack of rights but of the fact that even the most well meaning of straight people take marriage completely for granted. I'm not saying they shouldn't, mind you, it's just that I'd like to be able to take it for granted, too!
I'm very upset by the results of the vote in Maine yesterday, and that moment from the ceremony, along with the thought of all those LGBT couples in Maine who won't be able to have the ceremonies they'd been planning for themselves, has been very much on my mind all day.
Gay Rights Activist David Mixner had some very powerful words to say about the subject:
"...call this campaign against us what it is - Gay Apartheid.
Refuse to allow any of our fellow Americans, President Obama or our allies to view this as a political issue who time hasn't quite come. America is in the process of creating a system of Gay Apartheid. We will not quietly sit and accept it. All over the place, this nation is creating one set of laws for LGBT Americans and another set for all other Americans. That is the classic definition of Apartheid. Either our political allies are for Gay Apartheid or against it. If they are against it, they must fight with us and no longer duck like President Obama did in Maine and Washington. There is no half way in fighting Apartheid.
Today many will claim that we must surrender the word marriage or accept some sort of separate but equal arrangement. It didn't work in the African-American struggle for freedom and it doesn't work for us. We want full equality with the same rights, benefits and privileges as all other Americans now."
It's easy to become depressed when faced with results like we saw yesterday, but the fight is far from lost and Mixner's words reminded me that we won't be cowed by the results of any vote, that when equality is lacking, it's not given at the ballot box but fought for and won, no matter how long that takes.
Even our so called friends in power are busy relegating LGBT issues, such as Don't Ask Don't Tell, to some future time when all the other issues that seem to be more important to them than our equality have been dealt with. Clearly, we rank higher on the priority list of those who are against us than we do of those who are (supposed to be) our allies.
The National Equality March doesn't seem to have lit enough of a fire under those in Washington who have benefited from our votes and our contributions, so maybe it's time to give those votes and contributions to others.
Yesterday wasn't all bad news on the LGBT front, of course. Gaypolitics has a rundown of some of the openly gay and lesbian candidates who were elected in record setting numbers across the country.
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