All About Adam

There are no words for how fantastic Adam Lambert's performance was tonight on American Idol. Seriously, it was just unbelievable. I thought he'd brought down the house with Satisfaction a couple of weeks ago, but tonight blew that right out of the water. It was Michael Jackson night on the show and Adam chose to do Black Or White. It was a great choice and he just completely killed with the song. It was... wow. Just, no words. Incredibly sexy performance.

I was starting to wonder if my crush on him was coloring my perception of how good he really is as a vocalist and a performer, since that has been known to happen in the past with me. I'll have a little celebrity crush on someone and convince myself that they're a fantastic actor or singer or whatever, and only later, when the crush has faded, do I realize that they weren't nearly as great as I'd thought, that it was mostly just good looks coupled with passable talent.

I'm convinced now, though, that crush or not Adam is the real thing. The judges all agreed, too, with Simon saying he was in a different league from the others and the rest saying things like he could record an album right now and go to the top of the charts and that they're amazed someone hasn't already scooped him up and made him a recording star before this. They also praised him for being himself, which I loved since that's part of why I think he's so awesome.

Kara even said that she hoped Michael Jackson was watching the show, though surely at 27 Adam is a way too old for him? (Sorry, I couldn't resist!)

Honestly, it was like watching a group of amateur performances, some of them very good, some not, and then having a honest to God superstar show up and perform in the middle of it all.

I think my favorite part, aside from the entire performance itself, was Adam's very genuine reaction to the judges. He got teary eyed during Paula's praise (or should I say outright adulation?) and it just made me love him even more, if that's even possible.

I don't think I have to be nervous at all about Adam's chances, but I'll probably worry a bit until he's safely through to the next round. They said that two people will be eliminated tomorrow night, instead of the usual one, and that they'll be announcing something that will totally change the shape of the competition. Given that the whole thing is new to me, I guess it won't be too much of a shock, whatever it is.

I've been writing this with the phone in the crook of my shoulder, hitting redial over and over to vote for Adam. I've totally gone over to the dark side and I don't even care. It really seems possible that we might have an openly gay American Idol in the near future!

Which reminds me, the L.A. Times has an article that addresses Adam and the history of gay contestants on the show. The title of it is 'American Idol Needs to Open the Closet Door', which should give you an idea of their point of view. It's not just about the show keeping gay contestants closeted, though, its also about them whitewashing every aspect of these contestants lives that don't 'fit' with the show's image:

"Idol's" closet contains much more than sexuality, though. It includes language differences, religious affiliation and its contestants' complex family lives. The daring Lambert might break down the wall of homophobia this season, but it's just as likely one of the show's several Christian worship leaders, including Lambert's main male rival Danny Gokey will push the producers to let fundamentalist Christianity out of the box in which it's not very well contained.

Or perhaps this year's outlier will be Jorge Nuñez, making a mark for the Latino community by insisting on singing songs in Spanish. Then there's Scott MacIntyre, who is legally blind, and who might keep forcing the producers to adjust to a front-runner with an obvious disability."

I feel like I picked a really good time to start watching this pop cultural phenomenon that I'd successfully avoided for so long.

Jackson, Lambert, Westwick

I just saw the news that Glee, the upcoming Fox show that I'm already very excited about, just got even better: out hottie Cheyenne Jackson will be guest starring in an early episode. Excellent! The downside is that I was thinking the show would begin its run this spring and I found out that only the pilot will be airing this May, after American Idol. The series won't officially start until next fall.

Ah, well. I guess good things are worth waiting for, right?

Speaking of American Idol, I'm really looking forward to seeing Adam Lambert perform again tomorrow night! I'm glad that the Wild Card thing didn't take a whole week, like I'd thought, but just one night last week. I'm excited to see what Adam does next.

I was going to mention, by the way, that Entertainment Weekly online had a Q&A with the Top 13 (they added an extra singer, so it's no longer the Top 12) and asked Adam Lambert if he was ready for people digging into his past (a polite way to reference the photos of him kissing another guy). Adam's response:

"I feel fine. I know who I am. I'm an honest guy, and I'm just going to keep singing."

I love this man!

Another guy I love, if you'll recall, is Ed Westwick. Not enough to watch his show, I admit, but enough to love seeing pictures of him online and to scour YouTube for clips of him speaking in his real life sexy as hell British accent.

Anyway, there have been rumors before about Ed and his co-star/roommate, Chace Crawford, being romantically involved. In fact, Joy Behar on The View even asked about it a couple of months ago and interestingly enough, the guys just sort of laughed but never said one way or another if it was true or not. (They have, though, said in other interviews that they are straight).

The reason I bring this up is that Ed has caused quite the stir by getting very friendly with a male companion at a Knicks game. From what I was just reading, Howard Stern (who was at the same game) even mentioned it on his radio show.

So, of course, I had to see the pictorial evidence.
They do look pretty cozy together. Even if there's nothing going on with them beyond friendship, I'd love to be pals with Ed if that's how he treats his buddies!

Honestly, though, it's really nice to see two guys being so affectionate together in public. Yes, of course it raises all sorts of speculation (and gets a lot of peoples hopes up!), but so what? It's not Ed or his friend's fault that most guys are too uptight to display any emotion except anger towards another man.

I almost kind of hope Ed is completely straight, because then I'd love him even more for being so awesome. Only almost, though, because who wouldn't want Ed playing for their team?

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

I just finished watching the film Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and I really enjoyed it a lot. I wasn't sure if it would be any good or not, but I knew that the Young Adult novel it was based on was very gay inclusive and the previews I'd seen looked pretty good.

Other than a tiny bit of bathroom humor (quite literally), I thought it was pretty much a perfect film of its type. I just kind of wanted to wrap myself up in it and live it for awhile.

It was definitely gay inclusive, with three of the main characters being gay, and there were a few really sweet scenes between the gay couple in the film and one fantastic scene between one of the gay characters and his straight friend that I think is destined to be a classic scene.

Michael Cera & Kat Dennings were perfect as the title characters and there wasn't a single person miscast. Ari Graynor was especially great and quite the scene stealer as Caroline. I think I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone play drunk as well, certainly not in a comedic performance.

Also, where have Jonathan B. Wright & Rafi Gavron been hiding?! They were so perfect together as 'Beefy Guy' and Dev, I totally had a crush on them as a couple. Wright looks like a blond Josh Hartnett, too, which gives him high marks in my book.

The only thing the movie was lacking was a kiss between the guys, though they did have some nice romantic moments. I watched some of the commentary and heard that Dev did have a kiss with a guy in the crowd during the concert at the beginning, but it didn't make it into the film.

What I really loved about the movie, though, was that the gay characters were just people. They weren't stereotypes or there to serve a specific purpose or deliver a message, and there wasn't even a huge deal made about their sexuality, they were just characters who happened to be gay. I think one of my favorite things was when 'Beefy Guy' fixes Nick's car, clearly being at home under the hood. That's not an image that most people have of gay guys and not one you really see in films. Even better, it was a gay character who defended the group's honor at the end against the obnoxious (straight) jerk.

We really need more movies like this one which depict LGBT people so casually, as people first instead of walking, talking, sexual orientations.

If you haven't seen the movie, you should rent it. I was feeling pretty down before I watched it and it totally lifted my spirits. I'm going to have to buy a copy for myself, since I know I'll want to watch it again & again.

Bad Times

This isn't the typical Seth in the City post, but I've got a lot on my mind tonight and I thought I'd just purge a bit of it in blog form.

This economic mess we're in seems to be getting worse by the day and I don't think there is anyone out there who is unaffected by it. I've certainly not been immune. For the last month, the store I work for has had to drastically slash hours for all non full time employees (which is most of the staff) and a lot of us are trying to get by on 12-16 hours a week at the moment, which is of course impossible.

The truly awful part is that it's not expected to improve any time soon. The only way we will be able to get more hours is if people start quitting and there are fewer employees to spread the hours among. Of course, no one can quit because there aren't any other jobs out there!

This was bad enough, but this week we lost two co-workers, both of whom have worked at our store for years, to layoffs. One of these women had worked for the company for about a decade and the other for nearly eight years, and just like that they were unemployed.

I have an awful feeling that this just the beginning and that more layoffs, or even store closures, will follow before long, and I feel like everything I've known for the last several years is suddenly unstable, that the life I've built for myself since leaving home is hanging by a thread.

It's an incredibly scary feeling, and one that many people all over the country are living with on a daily basis. I've just finally joined the club.

Out of Our Misery

Thank God its finally over! I'm referring, of course, to this putrid storyline on As the World Turns, which seems to have reached its conclusion at last. Even though the story moved just a tad quicker than the speed of light, it still feels as if it lasted an eternity somehow. I guess this is because I usually fast forward the scenes that are this terrible, but this time I was stuck actually watching every minute of them, thanks to Luke & Noah's presence.

It ended just in time, too, because today's episode irritated me so much that I actually felt angry. I've often used the expression "I wanted to throw something at the TV" but I don't think I've ever literally wanted to throw something at the TV before today!

All right, let's take a look at this mess for the last time. Today started out with Luke & Noah at Java, talking everything over yet again. Kevin showed up and Luke expressed his sympathy over Elwood's death, given that he & Kevin were friends. Wait, what? Last we heard, Elwood lived across the hall from Kevin in the dorm and Kevin agreed to keep an eye on him for Luke. Since when were they ever friends?! They can't even keep things straight from day to day in this story.

Kevin seemed a bit nervous, especially when Luke revealed that Matt's car was the one the forced Elwood off the bridge. He left without even buying any coffee after saying something odd about hoping the police won't catch Matt.

Noah suddenly makes the leap that Kevin's odd behavior means that he might have figured out who the real killer is. Okay, yeah, because that's logical! I know that when any of my friends are acting a bit off, I assume they've just solved a crime.

What really made me want to toss a brick through the TV, though, was the next scene, where Noah declared that his suspicions of Kevin aren't just about how he was acting that day, but about how he ran his sleazy campaign. Luke defends Kevin, saying that was more Mark's doing than Kevin's, but Noah thinks Kevin should have reigned in his friends. Noah tells Luke that he knows Luke really wants to trust Kevin, but that he needs to let that go before someone else gets killed.

Again, what?! Last week, Noah was chiding Luke for being so suspicious of Kevin and saying that he thought Kevin was being sincere. Now we've got this whole inexplicable role reversal from out of nowhere. It's almost like Van and Jake accidentally switched parts for this scene and are reading each other's lines. That's the only thing that would make this actually work in the context of the story. But then again, this story has already failed in every other respect, so why am I surprised by this latest development?

Meanwhile, Margo & the cops find Matt's car and because the lock was forced and the SUV was hot wired, Margo uses those finely honed detective skills to determine that Matt couldn't be the killer. Why would he need to hot wire his own car? Um, to back up his story that it was stolen, maybe? I know Matt is innocent, but that's about the worst police work ever there, Margo.

Mark showed up at the hospital and overheard Margo telling Alison that she thinks Matt is innocent. Mark forced Alison to come with him by saying that he's got Casey (who has been released from jail) and will hurt him if Alison doesn't cooperate. Mark's plan, it seems, is to inject Alison (a former drug addict) with enough drugs to cause her to OD and then frame Matt for her death.

Casey, who thinks Alison is in danger from Matt, calls Luke & Noah when he can't find her. He tells them that his mom thinks Matt is innocent and is using Alison to lure him out of hiding. Once Luke & Noah hear that Margo doesn't think Matt killed Elwood, they realize that the only other person who knew about the meeting was Kevin. Noah thinks he's the killer, but Luke doesn't think his old friend is capable of murder. They decide to go and ask him, since it's a well known fact that if you ask a killer if they did it, they're obligated to answer honestly.

Luke & Noah have no trouble finding Kevin at Al's, where he's just finishing up a voice mail to Mark, telling him that the cops are still looking for Matt. Kevin denies that he was talking to 'M', but Noah grabs his phone and sees that his last call was to Mark. Kevin confesses that Mark is the killer and that he himself just found out, but didn't tell anyone because Mark is his friend and he was afraid he'd try and hurt himself.

Luke & Noah convince Kevin that he's got to turn Mark in before he hurts someone else. Mark, after having his plot to kill Alison foiled by Matt, calls Kevin needing money, presumably to get out of town. Kevin agrees to meet him on the bridge where Elwood died (since all the cool kids are going there), and Noah does the first smart anyone has done since this story started and calls Margo to tell her where Mark will be.

Then, of course, our amateur detectives decide that Mark may not show himself if he doesn't see Kevin, so the three of them set out for the bridge together. Luke & Noah try, quite pathetically, to squat down out of sight at one end of the bridge, but Mark, not being blind, sees them and demands to know why Kevin brought them along. Kevin says that he wants to help Mark before someone else gets hurt, and Mark takes that as his cue to hit Kevin with a giant lead pipe that he was oh so craftily hiding behind his back.

Noah manages to get the pipe away from Mark, who leaps up onto the railing of the bridge. Noah yells that the cops are coming and that Mark is sick and needs help. Mark then drops the F bomb, saying "You faggots think I'm sick?" Oh, good, that's just what this story was missing! For the record, that's the third time since Luke came out that they've used that particular expression. I doubt that any soap these days, even in depicting a storyline about racism, would use the N word, but there we are. Yes, I know a homophobe like Mark would use this word, but it's still like a punch to the gut even hearing it on TV, especially in a piece of shit story like this.

Long story short, Mark slips and falls off the bridge, but Luke & Noah pull him up to safety just as Margo and the cops finally show up (must have been heavy traffic on the way from the station, or maybe they couldn't find their car keys?) and arrest Mark.

To make this whole farce even more like an episode of a really bad sitcom about bumbling detectives, they even end the story with a punchline:

Margo: Next time you want to play cops, why don't you apply to the academy.

Luke: Only if I get to be Starsky.

Noah: You are so totally Hutch.

Margo: I withdraw the statement.

Yes, it made me laugh, mostly because Jake & Van pulled it off in a really cute way, but at the same time, it reminded me of the way this story was sold just before it started. The preview was that the guys were going to be involved in a 'light hearted murder mystery'. Light hearted? I guess they were referring to that joke at the end, because the rest was far from it.

It's finally over, though, and if it didn't manage to drive away all fans of Luke & Noah for good its due to the talent of Van & Jake alone.

Glee

I was just reading that Kristin Chenoweth has been cast in a recurring role in Glee, an upcoming musical comedy from Fox centering around 'the worst high school glee club in America'. You know I completely adore Kristin and the show will also star someone else I've been hoping to see more of: Broadway vet and As the World Turns alum Matthew Morrison. The generally awesome (and openly gay) Victor Garber will also be in the cast.

Just reading the description, I think it would be a show I'd want to catch even if the cast were completely unknown to me. Knowing that Kristin will be involved and will get to sing just makes my day! I can't wait. I do wonder what this means for Legally Mad, the David E. Kelley pilot she was starring in. It sounds like Glee will be ready to debut this spring, though, and Legally Mad wouldn't be on until next fall if it's even picked up. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to what sounds like Ally McBeal revisited, although I would of course tune in for Kristin alone.

I'm really looking forward to Glee, though, and I just wish it were already May so I could see it for myself!

Lambert and Fonda and Hansis (oh my!)

First of all, I'm sure if you read any gay blogs online you've probably seen the pictures that have surfaced of American Idol's Adam Lambert kissing another guy.

There wasn't any real doubt for most people that he was gay, of course. I've been hoping he'd be the first American Idol contestant to be out while on the show (and hopefully the first openly gay winner!) and I'd say that these pictures have taken a step in that direction. Some of the comments I've read are speculating the the pictures will turn people against him and he'll be voted out early. I think that even before the pictures came up, people had to strongly suspect he was gay and he still made it in to the top 12.

Besides, you can't be a fan of Luke & Noah on As the World Turns without realizing just how many women and teenage girls love the idea of gay men! I think the only people who'd be alienated by this would be those of the religious right, and they weren't likely to vote for him anyway.

I'm not foolish enough to think that this show is actually all about talent, but I think it does play a large part and Adam certainly has plenty of it. I'll be voting for him and I'm sure many both in and out of the gay community will, too.

I debated posting the pictures or not, but in the end I decided that Adam is clearly out and proud in his life outside of Idol and I honestly don't think he's going to trying and pretend to be straight while on the show, so why not?

Vote Adam! Vote Often!

Towleroad has an exclusive conversation between Kevin Sessums (whose memoir, Mississippi Sissy, I read last month and really enjoyed), the incomparable Jane Fonda, and playwright/director Moises Kaufman. Fonda will be starring in Kaufman's new Broadway play, 33 Variations, which opens on March 9th. The whole conversation is excellent, covering both the play and a variety of other topics, including Harvey Milk, Prop 8, and Fonda's lack of status as a gay Icon:

KS: And yet, Jane, you never in your amazing career ever became a gay icon like many actresses.

JF: No. I didn’t. I haven’t. And I know why. It’s because I have never been conscious of my presence. All the gay icons have very, very strong physical and emotional presences. Katharine Hepburn didn’t like this about me. When we were filming On Golden Pond she used to take my cheek in her hand and say, “This is your box. What do you want to say with it?” I never really gave a fuzzy rat’s ass about that aspect of it all. I never had that kind of persona. I was never confident enough. I just didn’t look the right way.

KS: But you always came off — in all your evolved selves — as a confident person. Many gay icons have a heightened vulnerability about them. You’ve never seemed vulnerable as part of your public persona. Well, maybe you had a Klute-like vulnerability to you at times.

JF: (laughs) I know what you’re saying. But it’s just not my style to be a gay icon. I wish it were. I think it would be a hoot because most of my friends are gay.

I've always loved Jane Fonda, ever since I adored the movie 9 to 5 as a kid, even though most of the issues it was highlighting went way over my head. To me it was just a fun movie with all sorts of crazy action sequences and even a bit of animation! Watching it as an adult, I appreciate it even more.

I really wish I could see her on stage! From reading this conversation, 33 Variations sounds like a fascinating play.

Finally, I forgot to mention yesterday that Van Hansis has been pre-nominated for a Daytime Emmy for his portrayal of Luke on As the World Turns. Each show's cast and crew vote amongst themselves to put forward two actors or actresses in each category for pre-noms and then the actual Emmy Nominees are selected from among those people.

If you'll recall, Van has been nominated for a Daytime Emmy the last two years in a row, each time in the Outstanding Younger Actor category for those under the age of 25. This year, Van is no longer eligible for that award but the cast & crew have put him forward in the Best Supporting Actor category, which is an even bigger honor, especially coming from the people he works with.

It remains to be seen, of course, if he'll receive an actual nomination, but I think that they'd be foolish not to recognize his work. As bad as the writing usually is, Van manages to spin gold from it all the time.

Congratulations, Van! I hope the third time proves to be the charm.

Some Good News?

In my earlier post bemoaning all things As the World Turns, I forgot to include the good news that the new twins, Zac and Zoe, have been officially cast. It remains to be seen if the rumors about Zac being a gay character who is involved in a triangle with Luke & Noah will be true, but I'm really excited about the story possibilities involved. If nothing else, it would mean a third current gay male character on daytime TV, which would be great.

They don't show up until April 1st, so we've still got a bit of wait. Zac will be played by Nicholas Galbraith, who is the guy on the right in this photo:
I can definitely see him coming between Luke & Noah for awhile! What a hottie. (AfterElton has some even hotter pics here) So, stayed tuned. With this and the return of Damian coming up, things can only get better... right?

The World Can't Keep Turning Like This

Things are continuing to move at warp speed on As The World Turns, which somehow makes the fact that this is a poorly written story all the more obvious. I guess the consolation is that it also means it will be over that much sooner.

Today, Luke & Noah ran into Elwood at Al's, the local diner, and Elwood got in Luke's face for a change, wondering what gave him the right to break into his dorm room. Luke countered with the old standby that Elwood killed Reg and that Luke found the evidence he needed to prove it in his room and gave it to the cops.

Why then, Elwood wondered, was Casey in jail instead of him? (FYI, the drugs that Casey planted in Elwood's backpack ended up in Casey's own bag somehow, so Margo had to arrest her own son for like the forty second time)

Luke has been written as impulsive, stubborn, and self destructive at times, but he's usually also written as an intelligent person, which is why I had a problem with Luke informing Elwood that the cops are holding Casey as a ploy to catch the real drug dealers. If that were true, Luke would be giving the game away, so clearly he'd either be stupid for revealing this or stupid for thinking that Elwood would buy it.

At any rate, Luke's parting shot, that the police knew who M was, apparently struck a chord with Elwood. Noah and Luke then proceeded to have the same conversation they've been having for the last few weeks, Noah wanting Luke to drop this and stay safe and Luke needing justice for the loss of his dearest offscreen friend Reg.

I did like that in the midst of this, the boys exchanged "I love yous" more than once, as in "I love you and I don't want you to get hurt", "I love you, too, and I won't", etc. It's still really nice to hear them talking like that.

Anyway, Kevin showed up to ask about Casey's arrest and Luke informed him that Elwood and Matt were the real culprits. Just then, Elwood called Luke's cell and told him that he was right, and that they needed to meet. Elwood wanted to confess but couldn't go to the police and risk going back to prison. Luke assured him that he'd go to the police on his behalf and that they'd probably give him a deal for turning in 'M'.

They arranged to meet on a bridge and Luke called up Alison to tell her the good news. Alison, who has been seeing Matt, told Casey the news and promised Luke that she wouldn't tell anyone else. Which, of course, lead into the scene where Matt called her and she told him everything about the meeting, since she thought Elwood would be able to clear him and Casey both by revealing who 'M' really is.

Noah went along with Luke and as soon as Elwood started walking towards them on the bridge an SUV came out of nowhere and headed straight for Elwood. It missed, but only because Elwood jumped off the bridge to get out of the way.

Luke & Noah got down to the rocks under the bridge where Elwood landed and attempted to revive him, but it was no use. The poor plot point was dead.

Meanwhile, back at the diner, Alison was surprised to see Kevin's campaign manager Mark suddenly reappear. How subtle of the show to abruptly introduce another shady character with an M name just now! Mark, in addition to being a homophobe who put up nasty videos about Luke online over Kevin's objection, also nearly raped Alison when she was spying on the campaign for Luke.

He's apparently just been released from the Psych Ward and wants to make amends with Alison. After Kevin showed up and apologized to Alison for not bothering to see how she was doing after his friends nearly raped her a few months back, Mark made it clear to him that he's interested in Alison, in spite of that whole silly attempted rape thing.

Matt soon arrived out of breath and informed Ali that his car was stolen. Margo, meanwhile, took Luke & Noah to the station as her only witnesses in Elwood's murder and they gave her a description of the SUV and Noah managed to recall the last three numbers on the license plate. The guys broke the bad news to Casey and to Ali after she showed up with Matt to report his car as stolen.

It was then, of course, that Margo returned to announce that the car that killed Elwood is registered to Matt, who of course has vanished from the station. How, they wonder, did Matt even know about the meeting? Ali confessed her part in that and realized that Casey was right all along and Matt is a bad guy.

Which, of course, he's not. There's no mystery here at all, since the otherwise pointless reintroduction of Mark means that he's going to be the killer. No doubt Kevin, who was there when Elwood called Luke, mentioned the meeting to Mark, innocently or otherwise, and probably also mentioned Luke's suspicions of Matt as well, giving him someone to frame.

So, in the end, this whole story will come down to four or five minor characters who hadn't been seen or mentioned in months being brought back to be killed off, suspected of foul play, or found guilty of it, and all of it will have been more or less pointless.

The writing for Luke & Noah has never been all that great, of course, but it was easier to take when the stories were about them as a couple. This is the first story that they're in where it doesn't really revolve around their relationship, the first story that's more like all the rest of the stories on this show, which I generally fast forward through.

The acting talent that is wasted on all this bad writing is what makes this even more of a travesty. There are more than a few actors and actresses in daytime who aren't exactly great thespians, but the cast of As the World Turns actually has enormous talent being squandered.

It's way past time for some flesh blood in the writing department on this show. If the recent rumors that the Executive Producer has been rewriting a lot of the stories himself are true, then it's obviously time for a change there as well.

Honestly, with how bad the show has become in general over these past few years and how low the ratings are dropping, I'm shocked there hasn't been a change already. Soaps don't have the luxury of being badly written for long periods of time when they're all more or less fighting for their lives.

Nick Hornby on Books

Nick Hornby is one of my favorite authors, though I came to him in a rather round about sort of way. I'd seen the film version of High Fidelity, of course, but it wasn't until I picked up a copy of the literary magazine The Believer that I got to really know Hornby's writing. His monthly column in that magazine, entitled Stuff I've Been Reading, was always the highlight of my day whenever the latest issue showed up in my mail box.

From his writings there, I moved on to his actual novels and was far from disappointed. Funnily enough, the last issue of my subscription to the magazine coincided exactly with Hornby's final column and I decided not to renew. It's a great magazine, but Hornby's writings on the books he was reading were what always made it worth the subscription price to me.

The reason I bring all of this up is that I just came across a piece he wrote for the London Times about being asked to pick forty books for a Writer's Table at Waterstones, a UK bookstore chain.

Here's a bit of what he had to say:

"Like many readers I fancy myself as a pretty good recommender of books (up until the recent economic calamities I had been entertaining the idea of turning pro, but this might not be the right time), and so being given the chance to drop my enthusiasms and discoveries on to a grateful public is a thrilling privilege. But where to start? How are we supposed to decide which books are still important to us? In one important regard, it seems to me, books that have shaped and guided our tastes at crucial stages of our lives are like friends from the past: you wouldn't necessarily want to go on holiday with them now.

If I were to re-read John Fowles's The Magus, would I do so in 18 hours straight, with an open mouth (and lots of attendant dribble, presumably), just as I did more than 30 years ago? The novel hasn't stayed with me, but the experience of devouring it has; it's one of the reasons why I am a constantly hopeful reader, even now, prepared to believe that the paperback I've just picked up will absorb and inspire and change me. “If I were 16, I might have thoroughly enjoyed this book,” one Amazon customer reviewer says, crushingly; “It all seems awfully silly now,” says another, who has revisited the novel since her youth. I suspect that I shouldn't look at it again, not least because I can recall the gigantic narrative trick that took our collective breath away in the 1970s. I won't be fooled again, unfortunately."

First of all, what a great idea! I wish the bookstore chain I worked for would do something like this, have tables of titles selected by an author, which changed out every month or two. It would be a lot more interesting than most of the displays we end up with.

Secondly, I couldn't agree more with what Hornby is saying. I've always felt that a book finds you somehow at the exact moment you're meant to read it. I've started books that I just couldn't get into at all and then returned to them months or even years later and completely loved them. I've also made the mistake of trying to re-read something I was very passionate about at an earlier point in my life, finding it- or myself, really- altered completely. Of course, there are also a handful of books that I've read more than once and loved even more with each reading, but those ones are far more rare to find.

I think you should only re-read something when you didn't have a strong bond with it the first time around, since those are the ones you're more likely to find yourself appreciating in a different light. If you just completely loved it the first time, it's probably better to let it be.

Just reading this article makes me miss Nick Hornby's monthly columns so much! Luckily, I have the back issues of the magazine and, for those who don't, they have been released in book form in three volumes: The Polysyllabic Spree; Housekeeping Vs. The Dirt; and Shakespeare Wrote For Money. Do yourself a favor and look for them if you haven't already read them.

Books play such a huge part of my daily life and always have. I always mean to write more about them here, but the problem is that I usually don't want to write about a book until I've finished it and then after I've finished I'm usually on the next book which has all my attention.

I need to make a point of sitting down and writing as soon as I've finished a book, if it was worth blogging about. Maybe that should be a sort of belated New Year's resolution.

Idol Night

I hate how wrapped up I'm getting in American Idol because of my crush on Adam Lambert! I was on the edge of my seat for an entire hour tonight, right down the the final minutes of the show when it came down to Adam & Nick for the last spot.

Happily, Adam made it into the Top 12 and my ensuing cheers no doubt convinced my neighbors that I'd either just won the lottery or had completely lost my mind at last.

Of course, Adam winning a spot in the Top 12 does mean I will have to continue watching American Idol and my torture will continue for weeks or even months to come.

At least I'm not the only one who hates the show but thinks they're doing something right this season. Brian Juergens from AfterElton, a self confessed hater of the show, had this to say:

"This season the show has tucked a few bona fide wildcards and rule-breakers into the herd of heartstring-tugging walking stereotypes (Construction workers with soul! Single moms with a dream! All they're missing is a hooker with a heart of gold...): Glamtastic musical theater goth Adam Lambert and performance artist (of sorts) Norman (Nick?) Gentle.

I won't even get into the fact that both of these guys sent my gaydar into overdrive, because let's face it: even if either one of them IS gay, FOX would never let them say as much (our queries to the net have been met with deafening silence). No, the reason that these guys are a step in the right direction is because they're proudly different and not trying to sell America the same recycled Idol crap. ...

As for Lambert, the fact that the show is letting a Wicked chorus boy and lead singer of a gender-bending glam goth group strut his Maxwell Demon on stage is something in and of itself, as is Randy Jackson's insistence that this is what America is all about, and where it's headed. I think that's a cue that the younger generation is much more comfortable with fluid sexuality, men who aren't afraid to be effeminate, and general camp."

Maybe I picked the right time to start watching? It was catching Adam's audition by chance that hooked me, after all. I guess I just love gender bending glam chorus boys!

Anyway, Adam will have the next few weeks off from singing, as the final group of 12 perform next week and then the week after that is the Wild Card week which will finalize the Top 12.

As for the rest of the group so far, I was surprised but glad that cutie Kris got a spot (he's good eye candy, has a decent voice, and seems nice) and the other pick, Allison, was one of the women who impressed me last night. The first three, picked last week, all seem sort of bland and boring to me so far.

So, in closing, I'll quote a commenter from AfterElton: Vote Adam. Vote Often!

Satisfaction

I just finished watching Adam Lambert (above, from the Hollywood week portion of the show) bring down the house with his performance of Satisfaction on American Idol. I love this guy! He's got such an incredible voice and my God was that a sexy performance of the song! I liked it so much that I just bought his version of the song on iTunes.

I'd been wondering for the past couple of weeks if I was actually going to vote. I mean, watching American Idol is one thing, but voting would mean I'd really gone over to the dark side!

By the time Adam finished singing, though, I was on the phone. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? I want to see Adam go as far as he can in this show.

The best thing was that the judges all really praised him (well, Simon only partially praised him), so I think that's a good sign. He was by far the best guy who performed tonight, though there were two or three women who really impressed me as well.

I think Adam will move on to the next round tomorrow, but I have a feeling that I'm going to be a fan of his for a long time to come, no matter what happens.

On a completely gratuitous and unrelated note, have you seen this new picture of Battlestar Galactica's Jamie Bamber?! I think this is conclusive evidence that he's the most perfect man ever.

Van & Jake Rock!

If you're a fan of Van Hansis and/or Jake Silbermann, you've got to check out this video. Van & Jake sat down with Brian Juergens from AfterElton to talk about Luke & Noah and the upcoming Rock The Soap cruise, which they're participating in.

They don't just talk, though. They video begins and ends with footage of the boys playing Rock Band and it's a lot of fun to watch. The guys were clearly having fun, and not just with the game. Van & Jake each have a great sense of humor and one plays off the other very well, making the interview very amusing, too.

Of course, I also liked when they got a bit more serious and were discussing their characters. Van praised the upcoming story with Damian, which makes me even more impatient for the current mess to be done with so we can get to that!

Brian, who does the hilarious liveblogs of the Luke & Noah episodes for AfterElton, asked if Luke being so upset by Reg's death is something that we'll find out the reason for in upcoming episodes, but Van said that Luke & Reg were just really good friends offscreen and that Luke's lack of direction in life plays a part in how involved in Reg's death he's become.

I think one of the hardest parts of being an actor on soaps must be having to talk seriously about stories that aren't very good without trashing them!

Check out the interview, it's a lot of fun.

A Small Silver Lining

I've more than made it clear by now that I completely hate the current story they have Luke & Noah in on As the World Turns. Today, though, they at least demonstrated that they are using this convoluted mess to set up the upcoming story involving the return of Luke's biological father Damian. This set up could easily have been done without this whole stupid Reg story, but at this point I'm willing to be grateful for the little things.

Today's show started out with Luke, who'd clearly not learned any lessons after his recent arrest, calling Elwood's R.A. and posing as Elwood's parole officer, hoping to get access to a visitor's log of people coming and going from his dorm room (as if that's even something that would exist!). Not surprisingly, he got nowhere with that and then made it worse by lying when Noah came in and asked who he'd been talking to.

Noah & Luke once again began discussing the situation with Elwood and their dear friend Reg. I'm really getting sick of hearing how close they were to Reg! Clearly, they think that having Luke mention this fact every twenty seconds will make the audience believe something they never bothered to show onscreen. It's not working. Like with every other aspect of this story, no one has taken the time to make any of it credible or worth watching, though the poor actors are doing their considerable best.

Noah got upset with Luke when it became obvious that he still wasn't planning to let the police handle things. They went back and forth a bit before Noah finally seemed to be getting through to Luke and to be convincing him that the way to honor Reg was to set up something in his memory through Luke's foundation to help other people.

All of that progress went right out the window, though, when Casey showed up to announce that he thinks that the mysterious M in the note Luke found is Matt. Casey had even come up with another brilliant plan, this time to enlist Jade to try and buy drugs from Matt.

Meanwhile, Holden returned home from a business trip and Lily filled him in on Luke's latest drama. The two began to wonder just where they'd gone wrong with Luke and what had happened to their sweet, happy little boy. Lily wondered aloud if it was just losing that election that set off all these changes, but Holden worried that maybe this anger has always been there in Luke, like it was always there in his biological father Damian.

Either way, they headed home to confront Luke about his behavior. When Holden asked if things were finally under control, Luke assured him that they were. That's when Noah, who'd clearly not been pleased with Casey's latest plan, intervened and said that no, things weren't under control.

When Holden & Lily heard the full extent of what Luke & Noah had done, including finding the pills in Reg's coat and giving them to Casey to plant on Elwood, they took the guys straight to the police station to tell everything to Margo.

Needless to say, the Chief of Detectives wasn't pleased to hear about the whole tampering with evidence thing, especially since her own son was involved. Luke remained mostly defiant, saying that someone had to get the guy responsible for killing Reg. Margo informed him that that wasn't his job but decided to look the other way on this latest infraction if they promised to walk away from all of this completely, no matter what else happens. Noah readily agreed, but Luke was much less convincing in his own agreement.

Once Lily & Holden got the guys back to the house, Holden pointed out that Luke should be grateful that Margo had gone easy on him, twice. Luke said he was grateful, but he can't be happy when they're no closer to getting justice for Reg. That's when the only meaningful thing to come out of this mess so far took place:

Luke: Am I just supposed to let this go?

Holden: Yes, you are. You've wasted enough time messing up this investigation.

Luke: I didn't mess anything up!

Holden: You tampered with evidence!

Luke: I was trying to help!

Holden: Yeah, and you may have ruined any chance of solving the case.

Luke: Well, thanks for your support Dad.

Holden: Your mother and I have always supported you, and look at all the good that it did.

Lily: Holden-

Holden: Ever since you got expelled, you've done nothing but waste time. You need to figure out what you're going to do with your life, Luke.

Luke: You're still angry about the election?

Holden: Yeah, you stuffed ballot boxes, you trashed your life, just to win an election. Don't you want to make up for that? Don't you want to do that for yourself, don't you want everyone to know that your life isn't a big waste?

Luke: Is that what you think, you think my life is a waste?

Holden: You need to get focused, Luke! Forget the killer. Find a job, or find a school that will take you back. Forget this nonsense and move on with your life.

Luke: Yes, sir!

Holden: Promise me this. You will give it up, no more cops and robbers. You got it?

Luke: I got it.

Finally! It has really bugged me that the whole 'Luke messed up his life' story was dropped as soon as he got back together with Noah, as if that's all that mattered. No one has really said anything about what he's doing with his life (though it was indirectly mentioned that Noah has talked to him about it, at least) or about dealing with any of his problems that lead to the mess in the first place.

If nothing else, at least this horrible story has brought those issues to the surface again. I'd much rather see Luke struggling to understand why he's messed things up and to turn his life around than playing amateur detective badly. It was about time that Holden or Lily had this kind of a talk with Luke.

Of course, to be fair, just about everyone on this show has taken the law into their own hands a time or two, including Holden, who tampered with evidence himself just last year when Dusty was 'murdered' and he hid the potential murder weapon because he thought Lily had done it. Luke hasn't exactly had the best role models.

Anyway, after the confrontation with Luke, Holden confessed to Lily that he's been way too soft with Luke lately because after Damian tried to take him away, Holden has worried on some level that Luke would regret choosing him over Damian as a father. As I said, I hate this story, but I do like that they're at least using it to set up the issues that will be involved with Damian's return.

Luke, meanwhile, thanked Noah for ratting him out yet again.

Noah: Luke, I'm just trying to help you.

Luke: Help me. Help me. You know what, it's funny Noah. Every time you try and help me, it just makes things worse.

Noah: Yeah, well, maybe things need to get worse before they can get better.

Luke: That sounds like a page out of Holden Snyder's handbook for delinquent children.

Noah: You know what? Your dad cares about you. A lot.

Luke: I know he does. But even if he thinks that I'm wasting my life, I can't pretend that this murder never happened and start filling out applications for schools.

Luke went on to say that it could very easily have been him instead of Reg, that if when he'd been drinking someone had offered him a way to just forget everything, he probably would have taken it. He can't and won't forget this and let it go, no matter what he promised his Dad.

The worst part of this is that these bumbling amateurs are going to end up saving the day and catching the bad guys, because that's what always happens on soaps. It's rarely if ever the cops who solve the crimes. I'd be a lot happier if they dropped it here and let Luke actually learn his lesson and deal with his own issues and have Margo solve the case.

I hope this story is over soon, one way or another. It's awful stories like this that make me wonder why I love soaps so much. The truth is, when they're bad they're very bad, but when they're good (which is increasingly rare, but still possible, as One Life to Live is currently demonstrating) they're so enjoyable and so addictive, everything that I've loved since I was a little kid watching Days of Our Lives with my Mom, my Grandmother and my Aunts.

Oscar Night

I just finished watching the Academy Awards and I don't think I've ever enjoyed any other Oscar night as much. First of all, I really liked the more intimate set design and tone of the evening. I also loved how they did the Acting awards this year, with five previous winners coming out and addressing this year's nominees one by one. It made it all seem really personal and special, which was much needed after that whole horrible "Let's have the winners accept from the audience!" debacle a couple of years ago.

I also loved Hugh Jackman as the host. It was nice to have someone sing & dance instead of doing a hit or miss stand up routine to start off the show. Anne Hathaway was pretty damn great too, when she joined him as Richard Nixon! After Rachel Getting Married and then tonight's performance, I think I have developed a little non-sexual crush on her!

It wasn't just the different tone of the evening that I loved, though. The greatest moment of the night for me was when Dustin Lance Black won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for Milk. Having this amazing, openly gay, writer win for a movie about a man like Harvey Milk was incredible enough, but his acceptance speech really moved me. I actually had tears in my eyes and I'm pretty certain I've never cried during any award ceremony before!

He's certainly made a lifelong fan of me just by being so awesome and I can't wait to see what he does in the future. Of course, I still haven't been able to see Milk, which really upsets me! I've resigned myself to waiting for the DVD but I'm baffled that even with the Oscar nominations it hasn't played on the big screen anywhere near me.

Speaking of Dustin Lance Black, check out this piece he wrote on Harvey Milk for the 30th Anniversary of his death, which is a Towleroad exclusive. It's very much worth reading and just makes me admire him even more. (When you're done reading that, they also have an exclusive on Harvey's last love, written by Armistead Mapuin!)

Heath Ledger's posthumous win was also a moving moment, mostly because in my mind he was winning the award not for The Dark Knight but to make up for the Oscar he should have won for Brokeback Mountain when he was alive.

Sean Penn's win was unexpected for me. I'd hoped he would win, of course, but all the predictions seemed to be trending towards Mickey Rourke so I'd pretty much accepted that. I was moved enough by the win for Best Original Screenplay to tell myself that it was all right if the film didn't win anything else, but when Penn's name was called I was shouting with joy.

I was kind of sad that he (unlike Dustin Lance Black) didn't actually say anything about Harvey Milk while accepting the award, but he more than made up for it with his call for marriage equality and the reference to the signs of hatred that they'd all passed on the way in. His & Lance's wins are the best sort of in-your-face to that kind of mentality.

The fact that a film about Harvey Milk can finally be made is the best part of all, though. The awards are just the icing on the cake.

I wasn't surprised that the film didn't win for Best Picture (again, I'd not expected it to since all the predictions were trending towards Slumdog Millionaire), though deep down I was hoping that I'd end up being surprised there as well.

We still seem to be in a stage where it's okay to honor straight actors for playing gay roles but not to honor a gay themed movie as the Best Picture of the year.

We'll get there, though. I don't have any doubt about that.

Soap Stuff

Okay, you know I avoid spoilers about the soaps as much as I can. I do, however, follow casting news, which can often be a spoiler to some degree. I mean, if you know an actor is leaving the show and there hasn't been a recast, then clearly you know the character is exiting as well.

Anyway, there is an interesting rumor going around that As the World Turns has cast the parts of twins, a brother and a sister, and that the male twin is gay. Could this mean a possible gay love triangle for Luke & Noah?! Now that would be groundbreaking, considering that the love triangle is a daytime staple but there has never been one consisting of three people of the same gender.

There haven't been any actors names announced yet for the roles, though, so I'm still thinking of it as a rumor.

Meanwhile, I read over on We Love the Soaps that actor/musician Jay Brannan, whom you know I love, has auditioned for a role on As the World Turns! I don't know if it's for the rumored gay twin or someone else, but it would be amazing to see him on the show.

It would also be great if Jay Brannan became the second openly gay actor on daytime at the moment! As I noted the other day, One Life to Live's Scott Evans is the only openly gay actor currently working in daytime TV that I'm aware of.

Speaking of Scott, his recurring part of Officer Oliver Fish got a little larger this past week when he hooked up with the new woman in town and even had some shirtless scenes. I'm hoping he'll stick around, maybe even be put on contract, because he's seriously adorable and sexy! See for yourself:

Meanwhile, the happiness for groundbreaking newlyweds Reese & Bianca has been short lived over on All My Children, since Reese (who has been written as a lesbian, not as bisexual) made out with her new brother-in-law before the wedding and Bianca just found out.

If they wanted to go there with the story, they could have written the character as bisexual from the beginning. It would have made a hell of a lot more sense that way. Bianca rightly pointed out that lesbians don't go around kissing men, but Reese apparently is attracted to people's souls, not their genders (again, make her bisexual from the beginning and I'd have no problem with that; doing it this way is a cop out and just confuses people).

Anyway, Bianca had annulment papers drawn up but Reese refused to sign because they didn't grant her any parental rights, meaning that daytime's first LGBT wedding between two major characters might quickly lead to daytime's first LGBT custody battle.

Pedro

I was just reading on AfterElton that Dustin Lance Black, the screenwriter behind Milk, has another gay themed biopic coming to the big screen: Pedro, a movie about the life of the late AIDS activist and Real World star Pedro Zamora.

Pedro's season of The Real World is often cited by people as the last time the show actually had any meaning, before it all became about overly dramatic drunk twenty somethings hooking up and fighting non-stop. I completely understand that, though the show had some meaning for me personally later on, during the New Orleans season with Danny Roberts and his military boyfriend Paul.

But leaving that aside, there's no doubt that the show skewed off in a very different direction after Pedro's season, choosing to go more with the type of manufactured drama provided by his ousted housemate Puck, than with anything resembling actual reality as most of us experience it. It's truly a shame, because by featuring someone like Pedro, they really showed what an impact reality TV could have had.

Pedro was one of the first real LGBT people I ever had any awareness of and there's no doubt that watching him live his life on the show with dignity and find love and commit himself to his partner had a big impact on me.

I'm really excited that this film has been made and I can't wait to see it.

M for Mess?

Luke & Noah were back on As the World Turns today and the mess of a storyline they're in the middle of is still going full steam ahead. I've said many times how much I hate the way the writers on this show go for the big, ultimately meaningless, Plot of the Moment and then move quickly on to the next, but in this case I'm going to be so glad once this story is over and can be forgotten.

Today's show started with Noah, Luke & Kevin (you know, Luke's high school best friend/crush from whom he recently stole a student election?), of all people, walking together in Old Town, having just come from Reg's memorial service.

It turned out that the guys had run into Kevin at the service. He offered to buy them some coffee (as I'm sure Al Gore offered to buy Bush a coffee the first time they ran into each other after that whole silly Florida thing) and of course they came across Elwood at Java, where Luke got in his face and once again accused him of murder. The story is ridiculous, but I guess it's kind of hot to see Luke being so aggressive.

After Elwood left, Kevin told Luke & Noah that he actually lives across the hall from Elwood in the dorm and can keep an eye on him if they like. When Kevin left, Luke made it clear to Noah that he doesn't trust his old friend's offer and thinks they should do the logical thing: break into Elwood's dorm room and look for evidence themselves.

Noah seemingly talks Luke out of that particular crazy idea and then leaves for class, whereupon Luke immediately heads to Elwood's dorm room. I'll take the time here to point out yet another ridiculous plot hole in this thrown together joke of a story: Elwood was sent to prison last year after stealing priceless manuscripts from Oakdale University and trying to frame Casey for it. The same University that expelled Luke for rigging a student election seems to have no problem with Elwood returning to school there after stealing way more than an election from them.

Anyway, Luke begins his search of Elwood's room and no sooner has he found an ominous slip of paper with the words 'I got you covered. M.' typed on it than the door opens to reveal Elwood, Kevin, and a security guard who demands that Luke come with him.

Luke calls Noah to bail him out and his boyfriend is surprisingly sympathetic about the whole thing, especially after Luke says for at least the tenth time in this episode that "Reg was our friend!" Again, just saying that all the time doesn't make us believe it. It would have been nice to have seen a friendship between the three onscreen first so that Luke's reaction would be a bit more realistic.

Margo, the Chief of Detectives, is less sympathetic about Luke's illegal search for evidence and tells him that he could be facing serious prison time for his felony. Even worse, she's calling his parents! While Margo calls Lily, Luke gives Noah the piece of paper he found and asks Noah to try and find out who M is, since it could be evidence.

Now, if I found a piece of paper with that message, I'd assume it meant something like "I'll cover your shift at work." or "I'll cover you for the notes you missed in class today." Luke seems to have a sixth sense about this paper and its true meaning, though, and Noah agrees to do what he can to find out who M is.

Lily arrives and reads Luke the riot act and wonders when he'll learn that his self destructive behavior affects people other than just him. When Elwood shows up, Lily asks him not to press charges, pointing out that Luke had just come from his friend's memorial service and was distraught and not thinking clearly. Elwood agrees to let it go, if Luke will apologize.

After some grandstanding about not apologizing to Reg's killer, Luke listens to Noah when he points out that standing by his principles is getting him nowhere and isn't fair to everyone who cares about him. Luke apologizes like a five year old boy who clearly doesn't mean a word he is saying and is then free to go.

Noah, meanwhile, has given Casey the slip of paper and asked him to think about who M could be. Shortly afterwards, Casey stumbles across his old prison cellmate Matt in the hospital drug supply room. Subtlety is not their strong suit on this show.

Luke & Noah head to Java, where they run into Kevin, who tells Luke he had nothing to do with calling security on him and means what he said about keeping an eye on Elwood for them. Luke still doesn't trust Kevin, but Noah thinks he's being sincere. Noah asks Luke to let the cops handle things where Elwood is concerned, pointing out that one person has already died and he doesn't want Luke to be next. This prompts Luke, that drama queen from a long line of drama queens, to tell Noah not to be dramatic! This line alone almost made me forget for a second, in my laughter, how much I hate this story.

They say you should be careful what you wish for, and whoever they are, they're right. I've wanted Jake & Van to have more screen time for a long while now, but I forgot that if my wish came true, it would mean that they'd be stuck in the middle of stories just as badly written as the ones their co-stars endure on this show.

They're doing their best with this mess, but I can't help but feel sorry for them. They deserve much better material.

Being Gay in Tennis

I'm still feeling a bit under the weather, but I wanted to mention this really great interview with out Tennis legend Billie Jean King.

Among other things, King discusses the need for top players to support gay players:

What's the biggest difference you see today compared to 1981? Or even 1999, when Amelie came out?
I lost endorsements before. Because I'm gay, I get endorsements now. I had three commercials this last year. I'm 64. If you're an older women you don't get any endorsements. Unless it's Depends (laughs). The [gay] community is more powerful. More people are out, they're making things happen.

I know everyone's talked about it before – just saying, “I wonder who will do it and when?” We know a couple of guys who have been gay but they couldn't do it. They couldn't do it. It's tough, man. I think everyone should come out on their own terms. Obviously I feel that way because I didn't. I would never out someone. I lived it.

What's it going to take for a gay male player to come out?

We're never going to be 50 percent of the population. We need straight people, particularly in the male arena, to support the gay guys. They have to. And if they stand up for us, that's how we gain acceptance. We need our friends, or brothers and sisters, especially if they have influence. Federer and Nadal and those guys have to say we don't care. Once the influence starts to talk like that, it makes a huge difference.

It's got to be the top players. [They] influence where the tour goes. That's part of the responsibility of being in the Top 10, the Top 5 in the world. That goes hand in hand with making the big bucks, getting the most exposure, getting the most endorsements. That's part of the deal, I think, if you're going to be in that position. And our job in that position is to stick up for whoever is getting a bad deal.

It wouldn't hurt if the gay player was the top player

I wish we could get a guy at the top of his game just saying I'm gay, let's move on, next. But it's got to be while he's playing. While he's at the top of his game. But they're going to take a lot of heat, man.

The first is always a breakthrough. There's always a shift when that happens. It's a little bit like an earthquake in a way. But it's not going to be as big an earthquake today as it would've been years ago. What the seismic equation is, I don't know.

As time keeps moving forward, it will be easier than it was five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and then for all the different people before. We stand on their shoulders. And you want the kids to stand on yours.

Historic Nuptials

I'm not feeling very well, so this will be a lot briefer than I'd like, but I wanted to write about the historic wedding today on All My Children. I still haven't fully caught up on the Rianca storyline, but I of course tuned in for the first LGBT wedding in daytime between two major characters.

I was pleased, overall. The ceremony was like countless other romantic soap weddings over the years, which was just what I was hoping for: an LGBT wedding treated like any other wedding between two people in love.

I was disappointed that they chose to shift constantly back and forth during the vows to another storyline, often having the vows as a voice over during the action of the other story. When soap couples, especially popular ones, finally tie the knot, they are usually the main focus!

Still, it was another groundbreaking milestone for All My Children to add to its very long history of being a trail blazing soap opera.

I hope this is just the first of many such weddings in the years to come on daytime TV.

When Bad Movies Happen to Hot Actors

Last night I went with a friend to see the new remake of Friday the 13th. My friend is a horror movie junkie and has loved this particular franchise since he was a kid, but I only had one shallow reason for wanting to see the film: Jared Padalecki.

I went in with no illusions, since I'd heard online that Jared showed no skin in the movie. He was, however, playing the male lead (unless of course you count Jason as the male lead), which meant plenty of screen time. Besides, who doesn't like a good scare now and then when you know you're perfectly safe?

One of the most intense movie going moments I ever had was when I saw Scream 2 in the theatre, during the scene where Sidney & her roommate have to crawl over the seemingly unconscious killer to get out of the crashed cop car. I figured if this movie could deliver one good scare like that, along with the chance to see Jared on the big screen, it would be worth it.

Sadly, the movie never scared me once. Every single scare scene was utterly predictable, down to the last few seconds of the film. Not only was it predictable, it was cliched as hell. Not in the good, Scream kind of way, either, where the filmmakers and audience are all in on the joke. No, it was just one completely unironic cliche after another, from the drinking and drug use to the gratuitous female nudity.

On the latter point, would it have killed them to have at least one shot of male nudity? Women and gay men do see horror films too, you know!

So, as a film, it was an even bigger waste of time than I expected it to be. Jared, though he was the male lead, didn't even really have that much to do other than the usual running, hiding, and fighting. He looked damn good doing it all, though! My God was that man filling out his t-shirt! It has been forever since he did a shirtless scene on Supernatural (well, shirtless from the front; we've seen his bare back a few times this season) and that's a real shame because he's clearly been working out like crazy.

Other than Jared and cutie Ben Feldman, who played one of the doomed campers at the beginning of the film, the guys in the movie didn't do much for me. Don't get me wrong, they were all nice looking (hottness is obviously a prerequisite for being a victim of Jason), but no one else really stood out for me.

So, really, it was a waste of time all around, except for ogling Jared's pecs in that shirt. Even my friend was disappointed with the film, finding it to be more of a 'decent sequel' (his words) to the earlier films rather than a re-imagining of the series like he'd expected.

I knew I'd see this movie and I knew I'd have no respect for myself after doing so. The things we do for celebrity crushes!

V Day

I just finished watching Rent: Filmed Live on Broadway which I not surprisingly enjoyed. I wish that someone had filmed the original Broadway cast when they were still performing, but the final cast was really good. Adam Kantor as Mark, Will Chase as Roger & especially Tracie Thoms (who was also in the feature film version) as Joanne were all standouts for me.

I totally have a crush now on Adam Kantor, he was just completely adorable and sexy all at once as Mark. At one point, you could see some chest hair peaking out of the top of his shirt, which I found totally hot. Why didn't he make AfterElton's Hottest 37 Guys in Theatre list like his co-star Will Chase?! I mean, look at him:

Anyway, I enjoyed the film even though it was hard to see anyone else but Jessie L. Martin and Wilson Heredia as Collins & Angel.

Well, I have a friend coming for the weekend (nothing romantic, alas!) so I'd better wrap this up. Happy Valentines Day, or Singles Awareness Day, whichever you're celebrating this year!

Prayers for Bobby

I'm really tired tonight, so this will be short. I just wanted to say that if you haven't seen the Lifetime movie Prayers for Bobby, you really should. It has been on my Tivo for the last few weeks and I finally had the time to watch it this afternoon.

If you don't know the story, it's about young gay man whose mother tries to 'cure' him of his homosexuality through prayer and therapy and he ultimately ends up so depressed by not being the son she expects him to be that he commits suicide. After his death, his mother slowly begins to change her views and becomes involved with PFLAG.

Its so incredibly sad, but I think a lot of parents with a similar mindset to the mother in the film (which is based on a true story) could really have their eyes opened by watching this movie.

Sigourney Weaver was really amazing in the second half of the film. The scene at her workplace after her husband has given her the most awful news a parent can ever get and the one where she breaks down in church and has her realization that God didn't cure Bobby because there was nothing to be cured, were both fantastic.

I cried so much watching this movie, knowing that it not only really happened to Bobby but to countless others and continues to happen to this day.

It's really a film that shouldn't be missed.

And So it Continues

Today's As the World Turns was just as much of a mess as yesterday's show. Luke & Noah went to Casey's place the morning after Reg's death with the pills that were in Reg's coat. They wanted to give them to Casey's mom, Margo, who is the Chief of Detectives, and tell her about seeing Reg outside with Elwood just before he died.

Margo wasn't home, but Luke & Noah got quite an eyeful as they walked in on Casey scrambling to put on his clothes after waking up hung over and naked on his living room floor with Jade. Luke & Noah filled them in on Reg's death and what they suspected about Elwood. Casey immediately came up with a plan to catch Elwood and told the gang to leave it up to him. Yeah, because why involve the police when you can enlist an ex-con with a stellar track record for screwing things up? Maybe they were still so awed by seeing him naked that they'd have agreed to anything.

Casey's genius plan turned out to be to ask Elwood to meet him in a park and make it seem like he wanted to buy drugs so that they could catch him dealing. He told Luke & Noah at first to make sure the police were there, but oddly enough that seemed to be totally dropped as a plot point, since the cops never showed up and Casey didn't seem to expect them once he was there. That's even worse writing that usual!

Elwood met Casey, but not surprisingly he guessed that Luke & Noah were somehow involved in this and turned to walk away. That's when Casey went with plan B and slipped the bag of pills that Noah & Luke had given him into Elwood's backpack.

Once he met with Luke & Noah and told them what he'd done, they set off to tell Margo what they'd seen between Elwood and Reg (which, really, wasn't anything conclusive) and she arranged to have him brought in for questioning.

Noah, Mr. "I Can't Lie to the Dean for you Luke, even though you lied to the U.S. Government for me!", went along with all of this. What does consistent writing and characterization matter when the Plot of the Moment is at stake, after all? I will say that Jake Silbermann managed to convey with facial expressions and body language that Noah was very uncomfortable with the plot, so that was something. But realistically, if Noah couldn't lie for Luke about a student election, why is he agreeing to lie to the police and, essentially, frame a man who may actually be innocent? It makes no sense.

Anyway, Noah & Luke were left looking on in surprise when Margo searched Elwood's backpack and didn't find any sign of the pills. Way to lose the only evidence you had, guys. Thus, the 'drama' continues.

I think if we as an audience have to sit through this crappy storyline, we should get to see Casey naked, too. It's only fair!

Meanwhile, over on One Life to Live, I'm still loving every minute of the writing and today Chris Evans' cute, openly gay brother Scott was back as Officer Oliver Fish, his recurring character. There aren't any other openly LGBT actors currently working in Daytime that I'm aware of, so I was very glad to see Scott back on the show. I think it's the first time we've seen him since his brother discussed his sexuality in an interview.

Oh, by the way, my guy Adam Lambert was sent through to the Top 36 on American Idol last night. Luckily, he was one of the first people to get the good news, so I didn't have to wait in suspense for the whole two hour show.

If I understand what's happening next, the top 36 will be divided into three groups and each group will be the focus in turn for the next three weeks. Adam's group isn't up next week, so it'll be at least two weeks until he's performing again, maybe three.

I'm excited to see what he does next.