Nuke Sex: A Letdown? Yes & No.

I may have spoken too soon about the departure of Laurence Lau and his character, Brian Wheatly, on As The World Turns! I got an e-mail from Richard at VanandJake.com, who sent me a link to this article about Lau's new play, which included the following information:

Lau, who lives on the west side of Manhattan (Hell's Kitchen), also worked on "One Life to Live" and "As the World Turns" as business exec Brian Wheatly. It began as a three-month storyline, grew into six months and it still won't stop.

"They (ATWT) just called again," he said. "They want to keep stirring that story line a little longer."

Needless to say, I think this is fantastic! There is so much story still to tell where Brian is concerned and I'm glad to know that he (and Lau, of course!) will be back in the near future to continue telling it.

While I'm on the subject of As the World Turns (because I go there so rarely, right?), I wanted to mention that soap writer Tom Casiello, who has a blog that I really enjoy, wrote about Luke & Noah's first time and raised some very good points.

Casiello compared the long build up to the big moment unfavorably with a similar long build up on Days of Our Lives with super couple Jack & Jennifer back in the early 90's. Casiello rightly pointed out that the long build up with Jack & Jennifer was used to develop both characters and get them to the point where they (and the audience) were ready for them to make love to each other for the first time.

Casiello was absolutely right to point out that a similar opportunity was wasted with Luke & Noah. The audience was certainly more than ready by the time it happened, but I see no reason that Luke & Noah couldn't have done it a year ago.

In other words, they didn't take all this time for story reasons, to give us good soap where Luke & Noah had to overcome believable personal obstacles to finally come together. Instead, they just dragged it out for as long as they possibly could for political reasons, worrying about offending people. Casiello also noted that the soap press was well informed in advance before Jack & Jennifer's big moment, but Luke & Noah's first time was snuck in under the radar with none of the press attention that any soap these days direly needs. That, obviously, says a lot about how scared the powers that be were that there would be a conservative outcry if there was any press.

The fault for the long delay surely lies more with the production company and network than with the show's writers, but obviously the writers could have used the extended delay to really develop Luke & Noah's relationship and the characters themselves rather than just throw ridiculous plot points in their path over and over, none of which plausibly explained why these two weren't already making love.

As excited as I was and am that they finally made love, I do wish it had been more romantic. As I said the day it happened, I would have liked to see them in bed together before or after, with their song playing. I would have liked to see them being romantic and in love just before it happened, rather than having another fight.

But I think the fault really lies with soaps in general these days, and certainly As the World Turns in particular. There is no attention to long term story like there was back when Jack & Jennifer were getting together. It's all about the plot twist of the moment, and then it's quickly on to the next plot, even if it means sacrificing characterization in the process. That's probably the biggest factor in why soaps are doing so poorly now in the ratings.

Of course, writing aside, as much as I'd like to think that Luke & Noah could be treated like any other soap super couple, we've seen quite clearly in the past year and a half that there are still a lot of people in power that are too nervous to let that happen. A gay couple can't yet be treated like Jack & Jennifer or any other hetero soap couple.

That's why in the end, the very fact that Noah & Luke finally did make love at all is so huge and so important, so worth celebrating and cheering over. It's a big victory and the reason that it will be that much easier for the next gay soap couple to be treated more like any other couple on a show.

A Wonderful Scene

I was just catching up on the last few episodes of One Life to Live and there was a fantastic moment from last Tuesday's show that I just had to write about.

I've mentioned several times that One Life to Live is currently the best soap on the air. It's incredibly well written in a way that used to be fairly standard for soaps in the glory days of Douglas Marland and Agnes Nixon but which is sorely lacking these days.

I've limited most of the blogging I've done about soaps to gay characters, which is why I haven't written much about One Life to Live. I'd really love to see them add a gay character or two into the mix because I think they'd do it better than even the groundbreaking As the World Turns and All My Children have. I mean, let's face it, Luke & Noah have been popular because of the enormous talent of Van Hansis and of Jake Silbermann, not because of the writing. Nuke is popular in spite of the writing, actually.

But, I digress. The moment that I wanted to write about from last Tuesday's One Life to Live came about after ten year old Shane Morasco walked in on his parents, Rex Balsam and Gigi Morasco, having sex. Rex, who only recently discovered that he had a son, was left with the awkward responsibility of having The Talk with Shane.

While the whole conversation was very well done, being both amusing and touching all at once, the part that really made my day was how Rex began the talk.

Rex: You see, when a guy loves a woman... or another guy, you know, whatever, it makes no difference to me, anyway they-

Shane: It's called sex.

I love it! One of the first gay themed movies I ever saw was a British film called Get Real and there was a moment at the end, after the teenage lead of the movie has just come out to his parents and entire school at an assembly, in which he says to the parents in the crowd that their assumption that their children are heterosexual may be hurting them.

That struck such a chord with me at the time, because even the most liberal of parents still seem to assume that their children are straight until they hear otherwise. How much better off would the world be if parents made no assumptions one way or the other? I mean, no one automatically assumes that their child will like the same foods, books, movies, or sports they themselves like, so why must they assume their kids will be attracted to the opposite sex just because they are?

Until I saw this episode of One Life to Live, I'd only seen one similar scene in which a parent didn't just assume their child was heterosexual. It was in the movie Love Actually, in which Liam Neeson's character finds out his young stepson is in love and asks what the girl or boy's name is. That moment alone made me love that film.

Anyway, I just thought it was such a fantastic moment, seeing Rex make it perfectly clear to his young son that whoever he loves will be fine, that anyone loving someone of the same gender is fine. It wasn't the focus of the conversation, in fact it was almost an offhand comment, but it said so much. All parents should see something like this and think about what messages they may be sending to their children, just through their own assumptions.

It made me want this show to write in a gay character- or a gay couple, better yet- even more than I already did.

You can watch this scene here if you'd like to see it. It starts around 38 seconds into the video.

Now Departing Oakdale

Luke & Noah were back on As the World Turns today for the first time since the episode where They Finally Made Love.

The show started out with Jade discovering them on a bench in Old Town, cuddling and generally still basking in the afterglow. It turned out that Noah's roommate in the dorm is on an extended Winter Break, so they've been taking advantage of the privacy there. They were seriously adorable together in this scene, completely believable as two people in love who've just taken a big step in their relationship.

Luke was still worrying about his relationship with Lucinda not being quite what it was pre-Brian, and at that very moment Lucinda was in her office, shredding Brian's personal papers just as he arrived to pick them up.

Brian tried to convince Lucinda that he did love her and that he had believed that things would work out between them, that he wasn't just using her for a cover. Lucinda told Brian she deserves more than that and sent him packing with his shredded documents in tow.

After he was gone, Lucinda called Luke to warn him that Brian had resurfaced. Luke was worried about how his grandmother was dealing with seeing her ex, so he went to check on her in person and the two of them rehashed the whole situation again, with Luke apologizing and explaining why he decided to stay silent.

Brian, meanwhile, showed up at Java to talk with Noah about Luke. When he found out that they'd reunited, Brian cryptically said that was all he needed to hear, that now he can 'end this' knowing that the two of them had worked things out.

Noah asked what he meant by 'end this', but Brian left without answering. Noah, concerned that Brian might hurt himself, followed him back to his hotel room and called Luke when Brian wouldn't answer the door.

Luke was still with Lucinda and filled her in on what was happening. When she refused to come with him, Luke told her to think about how she'd feel if Brian did do something to himself and she hadn't been there.

Brian finally opened the door once Luke arrived and Luke quickly spotted a bottle of pills on his dresser and asked if they were how he planned to end things. Brian denied this, but the boys didn't let him off the hook that easily.

Luke asked if Brian really wanted to live the rest of his life denying who he is.

Brian: What the hell do you know about my life?

Luke: I know that you're not happy.

Brian: I'm sorry I'm not like you, Luke. We can't all live our lives so openly the way we'd like to.

Luke: Why not? You're an adult. What's stopping you?

Brian: I wasn't raised that way. The world was a different place. There was a different set of rules, different expectations. And I can't-

Luke: You can't what?

Brian: I can't reconcile the way I was taught to believe with the way I feel now, the way I've felt all my-

Noah: Brian. I know how that feels.

Brian: Oh, you couldn't possibly.

Noah: I do. My father raised me, it was just the two of us. He was a military guy and he always felt that there was a certain order to things. And who I was, how I felt inside, like you do, it didn't fit with how he expected things to be, how he expected me to be, how he wanted me to be. And yeah, it took awhile, but I realized that I have to live my life, not his.

Brian: Well, good for you Noah. And you too, Luke. No, really, I mean that. You two figured out a way to be happy and you went for it, and I applaud you. But that's not really something that I can do at this stage in my life.

Luke: I think you're exactly where you need to be.

Brian: And where is that, Luke, since you seem to have all the answers? You have no right coming in here and telling me who you think I am and what I should do about it. Just like I had no business thinking that you'd- I'm a middle aged man, Luke, with two failed marriages under my belt.

Luke: Why did your marriages fail?

Brian: Oh, come on, just get out of here.

Luke: I'm just asking a question.

Brian: I don't owe you any explanations.

Luke: Brian, I can see how much pain you're in. You think I don't know why?

Brian: What do you want me to say? You want me to confess that my life has been a big facade? That none of this is what I wanted? That you have everything? Do you know what that would mean?

Luke: I think it would mean that for once in your life you'd finally be happy. Isn't that what you want? I mean, I might be wrong, but-

Brian: Okay, you're right, all right? Is that what you need to hear? That you've been right all along? I'm gay!

Lucinda (walking in): Oh, finally, darling, you allowed yourself to say it. Thank God.

This was a fantastic scene. Laurence Lau was heartbreaking as Brian from start to finish. He really made you feel the despair Brian was feeling, the longing to have had what Noah & Luke have but the feeling that it was too late, that he'd missed his chance. I especially loved that they addressed the very different time that Brian was raised in and the role it played in his inability to accept who he was.

Jake Silbermann and Van Hansis were excellent, too, of course. I especially loved Noah being able to relate to Brian because of the way he was raised himself, and Jake played that part of the scene very beautifully.

Once Brian finally said the words that he'd never been able to say before, Luke & Noah left him with Lucinda. Brian said he felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest and arranged to see a therapist in Chicago. He & Lucinda parted amicably, with both hoping that the other would find that special man someday. The wrap up seemed rushed, but that's As The World Turns these days.

I'm not surprised that Brian is leaving town, but as I've said before I think it would be far more interesting to keep this character around and explore what he's going through. A gay character of his age, newly out, would provide a whole different sort of story that hasn't been seen on daytime before.

Sadly, the show seems to have seen him as more of a plot point in the Luke & Noah story than as a character worthy of exploring on his own. It's truly a shame, because Laurence Lau is a talented actor who really made Brian someone it would be easy to care about and root for.

Mixed Feelings

I was reading Towleroad and was surprised to see this article on Barack Obama's early and unequivocal support of gay marriage. Not civil unions, which he now supports, but gay marriage. In fact, Obama's statement was: 'I favor legalizing same-sex marriages, and would fight efforts to prohibit such marriages.'

You have to wonder what exactly it was that changed his mind at some point in the last 12 years. I'm trying to decide which I'd prefer: A President who favors gay marriage but feels he can't publicly say so, or one who truly feels that civil unions are fine but marriage isn't. The first option seems better, but they both end up in the same place if you think about it. If he felt he couldn't publicly support gay marriage during the campaign, he'll probably feel like he can't do so until he's been safely elected to a second term.

Meanwhile, President-elect Obama is reportedly appointing four LGBT White House staffers: John Berry as director of the Office of Personnel Management, Karine Jean-Pierre as the White House liaison for the Department of Labor, David Medina as Deputy Chief of Staff in the Office of the First Lady, and David Noble as the White House liaison for NASA. He's also keeping on an openly gay Bush appointee, Mark Dybul, as Global AIDS Coordinator.

Obviously, this is going to be a far more inclusive administration than the outgoing one, but it remains to be seen what they're actually going to do to further LGBT rights in this country. I'm still feeling more positive than not about what the next four years will hold.

More on Nuke and an Update on Rianca

Now that several hours have passed and I'm a tad more calm about today's ground breaking episode of As the World Turns, I thought I'd share a couple of pictures from today's show. As usual, these come from Superherofan.


Kissing in Old Town, before heading back to Luke's room.


After their shower, both looking very happy.



Luke's smile says it all, doesn't it?


Also, it has occurred to me that I've been neglecting Daytime's only other LGBT couple, All My Children's Bianca & Reese. They're certainly farther along in their relationship than Luke & Noah, given that they're engaged to be married and the parents of a new baby daughter. Heck, they've even been shown in bed together at least once!

I haven't intended to ignore them, but I've not been watching All My Children and my intention to keep up with Rianca (the couple's requisite fan given cutesy name combination) on YouTube hasn't quite worked out. I really need to catch up!

In the meantime, though, here is a great interview that the actresses behind the couple- Eden Riegel and Tamara Braun- did with Out Magazine. Among other things they discuss As the World Turn's Nuke kissing ban from earlier this year and the lack of a similar ban on AMC.

Out: As you know, earlier this year As The World Turns reportedly banned its gay super couple, Luke and Noah from kissing due to pressure from certain political and religious groups. Will Rianca swap a lot of spit on-screen?
ER: There is plenty of kissing, I promise!
TB: There is no lack of affection here.
ER: It’s a demonstrative [love]. Having played Bianca for a long time, I will say this is the most demonstrative relationship she’s been in because Binks is in a committed romance for once. So, there’s no holding back in the physical realm. We’ve never been told to hold back. ABC is allowing us to trust our instincts.
TB: These characters are in love, and people in love show affection. Eden told me in the past each time she had to kiss someone in scene it was a big deal, which I wasn’t aware of. When she told me that, every time there was a kiss it was a big event.
ER: It had to be scripted, and it had to be cleared. It was a different time.
TB: I was shocked. I don’t know if I could have played Reese back then with those restrictions.

I love that they're talking about LGBT kisses having once been an event but now being no big deal. It's actually true on the only two soaps that feature gay characters. Luke & Noah have been kissing regularly for months now and Bianca & Reese apparently have as well. Now if we can only get love scenes to become as common!

I really do need to catch up on this story, especially since I happen to love both of these actresses. Eden won me over with her online series, Imaginary Bitches (which, if you haven't watched it yet, you should! It's so funny!) and Tamara was really fantastic earlier this year when she was on Days of Our Lives.

I wish other soaps would follow the example set by All My Children and As the World Turns and start introducing more gay characters. One Life to Live is so amazing right now, easily the best written soap on TV, and I'd love to see them introduce some gay characters and make up for that awful storyline a few years ago (when the show was being written by different people) where a closeted gay man was killing people to keep his secret!

Days of Our Lives has never had a major gay character and I don't think The Bold and the Beautiful (which is set in the fashion world!!) or The Young and the Restless have, either. I'm not completely positive about Guiding Light, but I think they fall into the same category. General Hospital, of course, had a character named Lucas come out right around the same time as Luke on As The World Turns, but he basically came out, got gay bashed, and disappeared from the show.

It's time for these shows to get with it and start telling new stories rather than the same old tired ones recycled over and over again!

It Finally Happened!

Oh. My. God! It happened, it finally happened! On today's As the World Turns gay couple Luke & Noah made love for the very first time, and only a year and a half after their first kiss!

I still can't believe that it really happened. I still haven't been able to pick my jaw up off the floor.

So, basically, the episode started with Lucinda trying to end 'the freeze' between her and Luke by saying that they should just forget about everything that happened. Luke told her that pretending to forget what happened was how the mess with Brian started in the first place.

After Luke left, Jade read Lucinda the riot act, informing her that Luke sacrificed his own happiness to protect hers and ended up losing the one person he really loved when it all blew up in his face.

Across town at Java, Casey tried to talk to Noah about the whole failed rooftop plan, but Noah told Casey to focus on his own love life and leave his alone. After Casey left, Lucinda showed up and informed Noah that he was going to listen to her, whether he liked it or not. Now that's Lucinda Walsh, back in action!

Lucinda told Noah that they were both wronged in this situation, but reminded him of all the stuff that Luke has put up with and forgiven him for: Ameera, Noah's attempt to join the military, etc. When Noah said that he can't get the image of Luke kissing Brian out of his mind and that Lucinda was acting like the break up was his fault and that wasn't fair, Lucinda informed Noah that life wasn't fair and that he was about to lose an irreplaceable person.

When Lucinda passed Jade on the way out, Noah overheard their sniping and realized that Jade had been responsible for unleashing La Walsh on him. As the two of them walked through Old Town arguing, Luke & Casey came from the opposite direction, also arguing about the chances of Nuke ever reuniting.

Of course, our boys came face to face just as they both said "Leave me alone!" to their companions. After this cute little encounter, Jade & Casey faded away into the background and Noah accused Luke of having a hand in Lucinda's actions. Luke was surprised that his Grandmother would so much as cross the street for him at this point, let alone try and reunite him with his boyfriend.

The two began arguing and Luke pointed out that Noah is selfish with his feelings, that he's afraid to let anyone get too close, to just love and be loved back. When was he going to go with his feelings, to just let go? Noah's response was to grab Luke and kiss him passionately. Jade & Casey returned to the scene and Casey told Jade that he was glad it worked, but he doesn't really want to see it! Jade replied "Why not? They're hot. And we did it." I've always had a love/hate thing for Jade, but I loved her at that moment! Plus, Casey is adorable and didn't seem to be trying too hard to look away from Nuke's public display of passion.

Noah & Luke stopped kissing long enough to take off in a hurry for Luke's place. They were still sucking face as they walked in the door (which made me smile, given that Luke lives with his parents, younger sisters, younger brother, and Grandmother, and the boys didn't care who might be sitting in the living room watching!) and Luke asked if Noah wanted to go upstairs. Noah's reply: "What do you think?" And up they went.

I was still thinking they'd be interrupted by something or someone. The show has trained me so well to expect disappointment when it comes to the guys actually getting together. But the next thing you know, they're up in Luke's bedroom, locking the door, kissing, and Noah is pulling off Luke's shirt and asking "Do I still look scared to you?" Hot!

I still didn't quite let myself hope it was really going to happen, though. But the next Nuke scene had them both coming out of Luke's bathroom in towels, wet from the shower, and the camera panned past the rumpled bed, making it clear that it had been put to use. Noah told Luke that he knows they waited a long time, but he's glad they did, it was worth it. He asked if Luke was happy and Luke said happy didn't even begin to describe it.

I had to wonder, was I dreaming? No, there would have been way more nudity involved if that was the case. So it really happened? Oh. My. God.

Now, I'm sad that we didn't get to see them in bed together, just before or just after. All straight soap couples get such scenes. But the passionate kissing in the build up and the scenes of post-love making glow were still incredible, even if they didn't take place in a bed.

I'm trying to just enjoy the fact that daytime's only gay male couple are no longer virginal and not be scared that the show will now feel that since they've done it, they can stop showing them being sexy & romantic with each other and just leave it all off camera. I refuse to be cynical today, though!

Anyway, the guys went back downstairs afterwards to get some food, having presumably worked up quite an appetite, and Luke offered to make Noah grilled cheese. Noah said that Luke always burns it (awww! I don't know why that exchange was so cute, but it was) and he'd like something sweet. "Isn't that too much of a good thing?" Luke practically purred. I love it!

Around that time, Lucinda came downstairs with her bag, ready to go back to her own place. While Noah got ice cream for three, Luke convinced his grandmother to stay, telling her that while they've got issues to work out between them, she's the one who always taught him not to run away from things. Lucinda agreed to stay and the three sat down to ice cream, with Luke & Noah both practically glowing.

It could have been better (a scene of them in bed, maybe their song, Cyndi Lauper's True Colors, playing), but it was still far more than I expected. The show has twisted itself in so many different directions to avoid Nuke actually becoming lovers and to finally have it happen and not be something just mentioned in passing as having happened completely off camera, is amazing.

This is a huge step for daytime TV, one that is long overdue, but hopefully it will just be the first of many such steps! Maybe it won't be long before Luke & Noah (and other currently non-existent gay couples) can have scenes in bed together on a regular basis, just like straight couples!

For now, today is definitely a day of celebration for Nuke fans!

NPH on SNL

I just finished watching last night's Saturday Night Live with guest host Neil Patrick Harris. It has been a really long time since I've watched an SNL episode from start to finish. I usually just watch the few buzzworthy moments online, like the Tina Fey as Sarah Palin sketches from last fall, since the show itself tends to be way more miss than hit these days.

I couldn't avoid watching the whole thing with NPH hosting, though. You'll recall that I listed him as number one on my list of the top five hottest out gay celebrities last month, and I also happen to think that even aside from all of that, he's a very funny guy.

The show was actually pretty decent, for the most part, and Neil was great. I really could have done without the opening sketch where Rachel Maddow's sexuality was made the butt of the joke. I'm glad Neil wasn't a part of that.

The best sketch of the night for me was the gathering of Broadway characters at Sardis to discuss the hard times hitting the theatre world and what can be done about it. Neil played Mark from Rent and was completely adorable. The Frost/Other People sketch, with NPH playing David Frost interviewing other 70's era celebrities, was a close second. I also liked his Southern Air Traffic Controller, Fran, though the sketch itself wasn't all that great.

Of course, the hottest moment was probably his first sketch, when he played an exercise guru on the fourth hour of the Today show and one of his main moves was 'thrust'!

The digital short, with him playing the Doogie Howser theme song while backed up by an SNL symphony and dancers was pretty great, too.

AfterElton has a post about the show that includes several video links, so check it out if you can. If nothing else, watch the Broadway characters sketch to see NPH as Mark!

Obama Picks Hochberg, But Not for Commerce

I mentioned the other day that Equal Rep, an LGBT rights group, was pushing for Fred Hochberg to be nominated for Commerce Secretary and the first ever openly gay member of a President's cabinet.

Well, President-elect Obama has given the openly gay Hochberg, formerly of the Small Business Administration, a role to play in the new Administration, though not the one Equal Rep was hoping for.

Instead, Hochberg will be named the first ever openly gay chair of the Export-Import Bank of the United States.

This is certainly good news and not the first LGBT individual Obama has tapped for a position. It's just a shame that none of the appointments have been Cabinet level. Obama had a real chance to make some history by appointing the first Out member of the Cabinet. Of course, cabinets fluctuate during any Presidency and there is still plenty of time for Obama to be the first President to do so. It's just a shame that he didn't send a message by doing it right at the start of his Administration.

Still, his Administration is far more LGBT friendly already than the outgoing one ever was or McCain's would likely have been.

Up on the Rooftop

Well, I finally got a chance to watch yesterday's episode of As the World Turns. I was hoping for some Luke & Lucinda scenes after the fall out over Brian's outing and I wasn't disappointed.

When the last episode with Luke & co ended, Lucinda seemed to be seeing Luke as a victim in the whole thing and not feeling any animosity towards him as the 'other man' in her marriage.

Yesterday's episode made it clear from the start, though, that Lucinda is very much holding a grudge towards her grandson. At first I was confused by this complete 180 and thought it was just more bad writing. It soon became clear, though, that Lucinda has become aware of the fact that Luke made his own pass at Brian on New Year's Eve. Since this knowledge was imparted off screen, we can only imagine that Luke's penchant for being painfully honest played a role there.

The episode started with Lucinda walking into a room and finding Luke there. She turned to leave as soon as she saw him, but Luke stopped her and told her that he'd leave. He couldn't do so in silence, though:

Luke: You know, for my whole life, you weren't just my Grandmother. You were a friend. You were somebody that I could tell anything and everything to.

Lucinda: Obviously not everything.

Luke: I didn't want to hurt you.

Lucinda: I thought you were going.

Luke: You can't even be in the same room with me?

Lucinda: What do you want, Luke? My new husband has been proved a fraud, the marriage is over. Isn't that sufficient humiliation and betrayal for you?

Luke: And you blame me?

Lucinda: If you are looking for somebody to listen to your pain, call Brian. I'm sure he'd be happy to assuage your-

Lily (walking in): Mother stop! You're not being fair. ... Don't blame Luke because Brian lied to you.

Lucinda: I'm not blaming him.

Luke: Could have fooled me.

Lucinda: Although I am still trying to understand why he never told me-

Luke: Could we please not talk about me like I'm not in the room?

Lucinda: -especially as that would have spared me a great deal of pain in this humiliating episode.

Luke: I wanted to tell you.

Lucinda: We are family! We're supposed to love one another, we're supposed to help one another!

Luke: You were so happy.

Lucinda: Happy? Happiness built on a lie. So I'm the blushing new bride and you're the one he wanted.

Luke: Look, I though it was like a temporary thing. I believed Brian when he said he loved you, I think he still may.

Lucinda: And that's why you kissed him.

Luke: No! Grandmother is has nothing to do- Look, I know it was wrong. And I'm sorry. And there's nothing you can say that will make me feel worse than I already do.

Seeing this tension between Luke & Lucinda is actually pretty good soap. They're two characters who've always been close and Lucinda was incredibly supportive of Luke from the very second she found out he was gay, unlike his own mother. It wouldn't have been believable for Lucinda to completely forgive Luke immediately for not telling her about Brian right away and when you throw in her knowledge that Luke kissed Brian, I would have been pretty disappointed if there hadn't been trouble between them.

I really hope the show will explore this tension and how it is ultimately resolved between them, rather than just sweeping it under the rug after a few episodes and having things go back to normal.

While Luke was dealing with the cold front at home, Noah was where Noah always is: working at Java. When Alison came in and asked how his New Year's Eve with Luke went, Noah told her that they'd broken up. He explained to a shocked Ali the circumstances behind the break up and Alison advised him not to let one mistake destroy everything that he & Luke have together.

Later, Alison met up with Casey and filled him in on the trouble between Oakdale's favorite gay couple. The two of them decided that they had to do something about this mess, and in true Lucy & Ethel style they hatched a plot.

Alison lured Luke to the roof of the hospital under the pretence that she wanted him to talk to Casey and find out if he was into her. Casey, meanwhile, lured Noah there to talk to Alison and see if she'd be interested in being more than friends with Casey.

Once they had the guys on the roof, Casey & Alison locked them out there so that they 'd talk and work things out between them. The guys did talk, but things didn't turn out quite the way that Alison & Casey hoped. I hate to quote so much dialogue, but this was a scene where what was said was pretty crucial. In fact, you should watch the scene if you have the time and haven't seen it already.

Luke: They're not going to let us down... until we talk.

Noah: I don't have anything to say.

Luke: Okay. Then I'll start. And I'll say the same thing I've said a hundred times before. Noah, I am so sorry.

Noah: Oh, I know! It just doesn't make it any better. You know, even if you were drunk, why Brian? You kept telling me how outraged you were whenever he made a pass at you. Either you were just lying through your teeth or there was some other reason.

Luke: You wanna know the reason?

Noah: Yeah.

Luke: It's because I knew he wanted me. I wasn't so sure with you.

Noah: I never cheated on you. Maddie and I-

Luke: You guys were so in sync.

Noah: Because we're friends! Friends who share weird taste in things, like old movies.

Luke: Noah, she used to be your girlfriend.

Noah: Before I admitted I was gay. To be with you!

Luke: I bet you regret that now, don't you?

Noah: Don't put words in my mouth.

Luke: How could you not? I obviously haven't lived up to your high standards.

Noah: I don't think it's too much to ask for someone to remain faithful.

Luke: No, it's not. It only is when you add perfect to that list.

Noah: Don't make this my fault that you threw yourself at Brian!

Luke: I'm not, Noah. I'm just trying to explain to you. With him, all I had to do was show up.

Noah: And that made you feel so great about yourself?

Luke: No! No, it didn't. It made me feel like crap. I messed up Noah, hardcore, and I admit it. But it's kind of hard not to when you have someone watching over your shoulder, just waiting for you to mess up.

Noah: So, what, I'm supposed to just forget about what you did?

Luke: No, but what happened to loving people, faults and all? You know, trying to make it through the long haul. Is it too much to ask you to love me for me, instead of who you want me to be?

Noah: Yeah, I do love you. But that doesn't mean you get a free pass every time you do something wrong. With love comes responsibility.

Luke:... In my family, when you love somebody, it's unconditional.

Noah: Really? Is that why when you saw me with Maddie, instead of loving me unconditionally you retaliated?

Luke: I don't know. I guess even coming from a loving family, I'm still messed up and insecure. But you know, so are you, or you would have believed me when I said that what happened with Brian was a huge mistake and that it meant nothing.

Noah: Maybe you're right, we are both messed up.

Luke: So, instead of pointing out each others faults, maybe we could try to help each other.

Noah: Maybe the answer isn't trying to fix us as a couple. Maybe the answer is to focus on fixing ourselves and stop hurting the people we care about.

Luke: So, we just go our separate ways for the good of- I don't even know what it's for the good of. Noah, I don't know how to do that.

Noah: I think the first step is to get off this roof.

And that's more or less where they left things. Luke & Noah are officially broken up and trying to 'fix themselves'. Alison & Casey, however, decided to continue their efforts to bring Nuke back together, but to be more subtle about it next time.

I really thought the scenes on the roof were very well done. First of all, Jake Silbermann really impressed me. I like Jake and he's done some good work as Noah in the past, but I thought he really brought his A game in these scenes. Noah is a more reserved character than Luke, which I like, but it doesn't give Jake a chance to really sink his teeth into a dramatic scene as much as other characters get to. When he does let loose, though, he doesn't disappoint.

It probably goes without saying that Van Hansis was incredible, but he was. These scenes on the roof were probably some of his best work to date.

I know the whole reason for the lack of sex between these two is that the network and producers are squeamish and nervous and generally out of touch with what the viewers really want, but I'm glad to see that they're at least using it as a plot point and not just ignoring it. Luke clearly has real issues with the fact that he & Noah haven't made love yet and feels insecure because of it, especially since it has been Noah putting on the breaks, first because of Ameera, then his father's death, and then because he wanted it to be special.

When Luke started mentioning the lack of sex, I was hopeful that it was going to lead to something. I didn't quite expect it to lead to this, but I still think breaking up over this issues is better than having them just be gay but virginal and never mention sex at all.

It will be interesting to see what happens next, if they stay on this break or if Alison & Casey's scheming gets them back together sooner rather than later.

Rent and Another Winchester?

I've had a really long day. I haven't even had a chance to watch today's Nuke episode of As the World Turns, which should tell you just how hectic things have been. I'll write about the episode tomorrow, though, once I've had a chance to see it.

For tonight, check out Spangle magazine's interview with out Broadway star Anthony Rapp. It's all about his return to Rent (along with fellow original cast member Adam Pascal) for its national tour this year. I'm really excited for this tour and will be seeing Anthony & Adam on stage next summer. I can't wait!

I used to think that I didn't care for musicals at all. I think I based this on the fact that I always hated the musical interludes in the Charlie Brown cartoons when I was a kid! But over the past few years, I've really become a fan. I think it may have started with the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of all things, but it's been a very gradual process.

The other thing I wanted to note tonight was the rumor that is going around, thanks to Kristen Dos Santos of E! Online, that Supernatural is going to be introducing a major new character- a third Winchester brother!

90% of me is dreading that this will be true, because it seems like such a jumping the shark turning point. The other 10% of me is imagining a third guy as hot as Jensen & Jared gracing my screen each week and loving the idea.

But, really, who else is as hot as Jensen & Jared?! This third brother would have an impossible standard to live up to.

Aside from that, the show is so strongly based on Sam & Dean's relationship that I think throwing a third brother into the works would be really hard to pull off successfully. Keeping all other cast members on a recurring status has worked well because Sam & Dean are what really matter to the viewers.

Honestly, I'm hoping this rumor isn't true. Then again, Supernatural hasn't disappointed me yet, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Time to Get to Work

Just a few things tonight.

I saw this on Towleroad earlier, and I have to say I'm really impressed by Reverend Pam Shepherd of Ashland, Oregon. Pam and her fellow members of the clergy at the First Congregational United Church of Christ have decided not to sign any marriage licence until they are allowed to sign them for any couple that wants to get married, gay or straight. Reverend Shepherd had this to say:

"We've blurred equal protection under the law and civil rights of all people with the right of faith communities to marry or refuse to marry anyone they want," she said. "Our faith communities need to struggle about what the Bible says about gay people and gay marriages, but the government should be deciding who gets civil rights based on the Constitution. The Constitution is very clearly based on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and if marriage is not the pursuit of happiness, what is?"

We could certainly use more allies like Reverend Shepherd who take stands like these, no matter how small they may seem individually.

Speaking of allies, 365Gay has an article about the promises that many of those newly elected to the 111th Congress made on gay issues and about the expectations that those promises will be followed through on quickly. This includes repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act, as well as passing the Matthew Shepard Hate Crime Act and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, among others.

If the Democrats, with their strong majorities in both houses and an ally in the White House, don't act quickly to make these changes, they will have no one to blame but themselves and it will certainly come back to haunt them on election day.

The same holds true, of course, for health care reform, ending the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and countless other issues that aren't strictly LGBT related.

There is a lot to be done, but for the first time in many years, it seems like we're actually in a position to accomplish real change.

I Want Your Grandson. Is That Not Okay?

It all hit the fan today for Brian on As the World Turns. The episode started with Lucinda nursing Brian's bruised face after the 'mugging' he suffered on New Year's Eve. When Luke showed up he apologized to Brian both for the kiss and for Noah punching him, and Brian took responsibility for everything that happened, saying he set it all in motion in the first place by making a pass at Luke. The two men agreed to put everything behind them and shook on it. This was actually a really nice scene between these two and for the first time, you could see that they were both genuinely starting to like each other as people.

That's when Lucinda came back in and asked why it was that she always felt like the two of them were keeping something from her. Lucinda wanted to know exactly what was going on with them, but before she could inquire further they were interrupted by Jade & Lily returning from a shopping trip.

Now, Lucinda has never been able to stand Jade. When Jade first arrived in town claiming to be the daughter of Lily's late twin sister Rose, Lucinda was the only one who saw her as the schemer she was. Even after it came out that Jade really was Rose's daughter (which, in a twist you'd find only on a soap, even Jade herself didn't know) Lucinda never warmed up to her. (I should note that Lily was adopted by Lucinda, so her twin Rose was not Lucinda's daughter and Jade isn't her granddaughter; confusing, I know!)

Anyway, when Jade started raving about all the great clothes that Lily had just bought for her, Lucinda didn't hold back her disapproval, telling Lily that Jade was just a user and Lily was throwing good money away on her. Jade responded in classic Jade fashion:

Jade: Well at least I don't have a gay husband!

Jade was with Noah when the two of them spotted Luke & Brian kissing on New Year's Eve. She immediately tried to back down from her declaration, but Lucinda demanded to know just what she meant. After Jade made a hasty exit and Luke told his Grandmother that she'd have to talk to her husband for answers, Lucinda & Brian found themselves alone.

Brian: I love you, Lucinda. That's all you need to know.
Lucinda: No, it isn't. I need to know everything.
Brian: Okay. I made a pass at your grandson.
Lucinda: What do you exactly mean when you say that?
Brian: I kissed him. ...
The truth is, I've had these feelings all my life. It's part of who I am.
Lucinda: So, you're telling me you're bisexual? You're telling me you're homosexual?
Brian: I don't like to use labels.

Brian asked Lucinda if the two of them could put this behind them, as he and Luke had done.

Lucinda: What are you saying? That I'm supposed to enter into this pact of denial that you have?

Brian: No, I'm not suggesting that at all. In fact, I think it's better if everything is out in the open.

Lucinda: But our marriage is a lie. It's a lie... and all that time that I wanted sex, you were avoiding sex because you told me it wasn't good for my health, for my recovery, and all that while it's because I'm a woman! And you're not physically attracted to me!

Brian: That's not true.

Lucinda: Of course it's true! It's true. So that all the while I was dreaming and thinking about having sex with my new husband, my new husband was thinking about having sex with my grandson!

Brian: It's a lot more complicated that that.

Lucinda: Yes, I bet it is. Well, let's uncomplicated it... Are you, right now, still physically attracted to Luke? Yes or no?

Brian: Yes. I am. ... But it doesn't have to be an either or situation, Lucinda. It doesn't mean that I don't love you. I do. I hope we can get past this.

Lucinda: Not on your life. No. Go upstairs, pack your stuff. Get out. Go.

Another actress might have gone over the top with these lines, shouting and chewing the scenery, but not the incomparable Elizabeth Hubbard. Those final lines were delivered very softly, which was perfect for her otherwise larger than life character in such a painful moment.

Meanwhile, Luke was outside filling his mother in on what had been happening between him and Brian for the last couple of months, including the fact that he got drunk on New Year's Eve and kissed Brian, and that Noah saw it. That's our Luke, other than stealing the occasional election he's honest to a fault!

Lily was shocked, to say the least, but Luke came to Brian's defense:

Lily: How could he do this to her?

Luke: He really cares about her. He helped her through the surgery, he was doing everything he could to help her get well.

Lily: I am just so angry at all the lies he's told us!

Luke: I know. I know. And I was, too. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized that he's really not a bad guy. He's a very good person, it's just when it comes to sexuality, he's really messed up.

After watching Brian pack and turning aside his final protest that in spite of what happened, he feels they are in every way suited for love and companionship with each other, Lucinda confided in Lily that if it had been another woman or even another man in the past, she might have been able to deal with it, but she couldn't ignore that Brian was attracted to her grandson.

I felt really sorry for Brian with all of this coming out, though I thought it was good that he didn't try to lie at all once he'd been outed. Brian has truly proven to be a fascinating character and I wish the show would spend some more time exploring who he is and what happens next with him.

It will be interesting to see what happens between Lucinda & Luke. They never had a scene together after Brian confessed everything, although Luke did tell Jade that he feels like everyone hates him now.

What happens next between Luke & Noah is still completely up in the air, too. It's not clear if they're just having a really bad fight over Luke kissing Brian or if they're officially broken up.

With the Brian storyline seemingly wrapped up, hopefully Luke & Noah's relationship will become the focus.

Another Chance

Now that New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson has withdrawn himself from consideration for Secretary of Commerce, we have another chance to see President-elect Obama pick the first openly gay member of the cabinet.

A Gay Rights group called Equal Rep is lobbying the transition team to pick the former Deputy Administrator of the Small Business Administration, Fred Hochberg, for the job. This was the same group that was behind the push for Mary Beth Maxwell as Labor Secretary, so hopefully they will be more successful this time around!

Here's what the founder of Equal Rep had to say:

"It was devastating to learn that gay Americans wouldn't have a seat at the table within Barack Obama's Cabinet administration. They are the only minority group to have never been appointed in the history of the United States," Paul Sousa, Equal Rep's founder, said in a statement. "Fred Hochberg is supremely qualified and this opening is the perfect opportunity for our President-elect to show gay Americans they have not been forgotten and he is truly committed to equal representation."

If you'd like to help lobby for the first openly gay member of a President's cabinet, click this Equal Rep link for a phone number and e-mail address to make yourself heard.

I'll be back to blog about today's As the World Turns later tonight.

Odds, Ends.

Today was such a long day and I honestly can't think of much that I want to write about tonight. So I'll just note a few odds and ends.

Stanley Kutler has an interesting article up on Truthdig about the whole mess over Is-he-or-isn't-he Senator? Burris of Illinois and the historical precedents of Congress refusing to seat members.

Ed Pilkington of The Guardian made me smile with his musings on what a fly on the wall would observe during the upcoming private lunch between all five living men who have been or are about to be President of the United States.

And, I don't know how I've missed this up to now since they've been doing it for two years, but The Guardian has an ongoing series on Writer's Rooms that I officially love! Each update has a photo and written description from various writers of the rooms in which they write. I find stuff like that so fascinating! If there was a coffee table book on the subject, I'd totally buy it.

The Germans Just Do it Better

AfterElton has an interview with Jo Weil (better known as Olli on Verboten Liebe) up in the latest installment of Gays of Our Lives, their weekly look at the goings on of gay soap characters worldwide.

Despite having expressed my preference for his co-star Thore Scholermann, I still think Jo is very sexy, and he has the most adorable smile. He & Thore are both very talented actors who really make Christian and Olli come alive onscreen.

Jo sounds like a really cool person, too. Here's part of the interview, but be sure to go to AfterElton and read the whole thing!

AfterElton.com: How do you feel about the way Christian and Olli’s story has been told?
JW: I’m very happy that I’m part of this wonderful love story. When I first heard [about it], I never imagined that Ollian/Chrolli would be accepted by so many of our fans. I’m very proud of that. I have received so many wonderful letters and e-mails from fans that I’m now aware of this fictitious couple’s meaning for so many people from all around the world. It gives them courage, strength and hope and makes them believe in love (again). The fact that I and my colleagues can cause something so wonderful with our work, hey, that makes me damn happy!

AE: What was your favorite moment or scene from this past year?
JW: There are many scenes that I liked – not only those that dealt with special problems, but also those that showed the couple’s everyday life: those moments in which the viewer can simply see that the two men are in love, without using too many words. One of my favorite scenes still is the one when Christian finally confesses his love to Olli. Director Nicole Deppé drew attention to these three minutes in a very nice way.

Another highlight for me is the outing in the boxing ring and the following kiss in front of the cheering crowd; that was very exciting to shoot and resulted in a really good scene.

Speaking of Verboten Liebe, I think I've mentioned that I've also been following an earlier gay love story from the same show on YouTube, one that aired back at the end of 1999 and into 2000, between the characters of Tom & Ulli. In the latest chapter of the story that has been uploaded with English subtitles, Tom & Ulli made love for the first time and I have to say that I was incredibly impressed with how beautiful, romantic, and downright sexy the scenes were! This was nine years ago, and yet here in America our soaps are still dithering about having Luke & Noah finally make love at all.

Someone should make the As the World Turns writers sit down, watch Tom & Ullie (or Christian and Olli) and take notes!

Comfort TV

I think I'm getting over my cold at last. I finally had a day off today, so I've been able to just lay in bed all day and recuperate.

I've also spent most of the day watching one of my Christmas gifts, Gilmore Girls on DVD. I've realized that it's totally one of those shows that are perfect for sick days or maybe even just rainy days at home under the covers. In fact, watching it is like wrapping yourself up in a warm, familiar blanket.

I didn't watch the show at all until it had been on for six and a half seasons and was nearly over. Then, thanks to Netflix, I started catching up and instantly fell for the Gilmores and the whole Stars Hollow gang.

Now the show feels like an old friend I've known for years, as if I grew up watching it. Which is funny, since when I look back at some of the shows that I watched when I actually was growing up, they don't seem warm and familiar at all. They either seem kind of silly or just hopelessly dated.

I know this makes me a total dork, but I think the bookish Rory Gilmore is the TV character that most reminds me of myself. Other than, you know, being female. Of course, there may be some wishful thinking there on my part, given that she's got Jared Padalecki and Milo Ventimiglia fighting over her.

There are a lot of shows that I really enjoy and can watch again and again- Queer as Folk, Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Will & Grace, That 70's Show, and Roseanne spring to mind- but there aren't very many that I would count as comfort TV. Gilmore Girls is definitely at the top of the list.

Milestones

Still not feeling much better today, so I thought I'd just note a couple of LGBT milestones that have already been reached in this new year.

First, Portland, Oregon is now the largest city in the United States with an openly gay mayor. Mayor Sam Adams was sworn in yesterday after being elected last May.

Shifting to a different continent, South Africa now has an openly gay Justice on their highest court, the Constitutional Court. This makes him the very first openly gay person ever appointed to the highest court of any country of the world. Not only is Justice Edwin Cameron openly gay, he was also the first Judge in the country to come out as HIV-positive.

Let's hope these are just the first of many steps forward this year!

Senator Pell

I'm starting out the new year with a cold and am feeling pretty miserable today, so I'm going to keep this short.

I just wanted to note the passing today of the former Senator from Rhode Island, Claiborne Pell. The Senator was a champion for education during his six terms in the Senate and sponsored the legislation that created Pell Grants for college students. He was also a force in the Senate behind the legislation that created the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities.

On top of all of that, he was adamantly opposed to the Vietnam War. We could sure use more people like him serving in the Senate today.

Adieu to 2008

In my last post of the year, I'm going to do a Best Of list of my own. Not everything on the list necessarily came out this year, but I first experienced it in 2008.

Best Classic Fiction Book I read this year: To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf

Best Modern Fiction Book I read this year: The Northern Clemency by Philip Hensher

Best Non-Fiction (History) Book I read this year: The Mayor of Castro Street by Randy Shilts

Best Non-Fiction (Literary) Book I read this year: The Library At Night by Alberto Manguel

Best Film I saw this year: Shelter

Best Half Hour long TV Show: How I Met Your Mother

Best Hour long TV Show: (tie) Pushing Daisies & Supernatural

Best Daytime Soap: One Life to Live

Best CD: Jay Brannan's Goddamned

New Guilty Pleasure Addiction of the year: Watching Collab Channels on YouTube

Favorite Gay Website of the year: AfterElton.com

Hottest Actor (Daytime): Van Hansis

Hottest Actor (Primetime): (tie) Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles

Hottest Actor (Film): Jake Gyllenhaal

Hottest Athlete: Matthew Mitcham


Favorite Actress: Kristin Chenoweth

Best Day of the Year: Election Day!


So, 2008 is about to become nothing more than a date in the history books and to say that it hasn't exactly been a year of peace and prosperity for the world would be the understatement to end all understatements.

But as one bad year ends, I think it far more fitting to focus on the promise of the year that is about to begin. 2009 is so full of potential for real change.

I hope you all have a fun & safe New Year's Eve and a fantastic 2009!

So Close.... and Yet So Far

It was a big day for Luke & Noah on As The World Turns today, but not in the way that they (or the fans) were hoping for.

Things started out in a promising way: Luke returned home to get ready for his New Year's Eve date with Noah to discover that his boyfriend had sent him flowers. Of course, he also walked in on Lucinda & Brian fighting over sex. Lucinda wanted to spend New Year's Eve in bed with her husband and he wanted to take her out to the party at Metro.

After Lucinda stormed out, Luke made it clear to Brian that since his Grandmother is obviously not happy, Brian's sexuality is an issue that he can't ignore. Brian told him once again to mind his own business.

The best part of the episode was Luke's arrival at Metro. He walked in the door, looking incredibly sexy, and his and Noah's eyes met across the room. Talk about hot! The chemistry between these two is off the charts. I swear you could actually feel the sexual tension radiating between them.

Their conversation was perfect, too:

Luke: Nice tie.

Noah: Thanks, my boyfriend gave it to me.

Luke: That's so I'd have the excuse to do this. (Luke straightens Noah's tie, in a manner reminiscent of the moments leading to their very first kiss nearly a year and a half ago)

Luke: (noticing lipstick on Noah's cheek) Who kissed you?

Noah: Maddie. Did you get my flowers?

Luke: Yeah, yeah, they were great. What was up with that letter, 'Don't open until 2009'?

Noah: Exactly what it says. You don't get to open that until tomorrow when you wake up next to me.

Luke: So tonight really is the night.

Noah: Finally.

Luke: Dance with me?

(Noah hesitates)

Luke: Oh, whats the matter, Noah, you afraid of sticking out in the crowd?

Noah: Not if it's with you.

If only the whole night had continued in the same manner! But, rather ominously, Brian walked in the door just as Luke & Noah moved to the dance floor and quickly took up a position at the bar where he could drink and stare moodily at the guys dancing.

Jade arrived shortly after and interrupted Luke & Noah's dance so that she could patch things up with Luke. While they were talking, Maddie arrived in tears, having just overheard Casey in bed with another woman. Luke looked up just in time to see Noah leaving with his ex girlfriend without saying a word to him about where they were going or why.

After he finished talking with Jade, Luke went looking for his boyfriend. Since Noah had actually left the party completely and taken Maddie to a nearby diner, Luke had no luck finding him and, most frustratingly, immediately started knocking back drinks at the bar.

Brian, of course, observed all of this and followed Luke to Old Town when he left the party. Luke, who inexplicably got completely wasted after what looked like two glasses of champagne, told Brian to stop trying to take care of him after the older man offered to help get him home. Brian did help Luke to a bench, though, after he nearly fell over. That's when things took a real turn for the worse.

Brian: Luke, you are a mess. You need somebody to take care of you, even if it's not me.

Luke: (Bumping Brian's shoulder flirtatiously with his own): But you want it to be you, right? (Moving closer to Brian and whispering) Noah doesn't want me. But you do, right?

And that's when Luke kissed Brian, rather forcefully, just in time for Noah to walk up and see them. Noah immediately, and logically, thought that Brian was kissing Luke against his will again and pulled him off his boyfriend before punching him in the face and getting Luke out of there.

Back at the house Noah was talking about how out of it Luke seemed and wondering if Brian had spiked his drink, and apologizing to Luke for not believing him the first time Brian kissed him. Luke, clearly feeling very guilty, had to confess what really happened.

Noah: When I saw him kissing you, I could have killed him.

Luke: Noah that's not how it actually happened.

Noah: What do you mean? I saw it, he was kissing you. Luke, he started it right? (Luke doesn't answer, but looks guilty) No. No no no. You wouldn't have done that.

Luke; Noah, I-

Noah: You wouldn't have done that to US! Why, Luke? Why?

Luke: Because I saw you leaving with Maddie-

Noah: I have got to get out of here.

Luke: Noah, I had a couple of drinks, I just-

Noah: DO NOT TOUCH ME!

Luke: Noah- (Noah leaves, slamming the door)

The worst part was that Noah yelling at Luke not to touch him coincided with the ringing of the bells at midnight. So, not only did they not have a New Year's kiss or make love for the first time, they started the year on that awful note!

After Noah left, Luke sat down at the table and opened the letter that Noah sent with the flowers.

Dear Luke,
If you followed my directions and didn't read this last night then it's the first day of 2009. We spent our first night together and I'm lying in bed with you, watching you read this. Knowing me, I'm betting I didn't say everything you needed to hear last night. You've always been better with words than me, but I want to thank you Luke, for being my love, for being my future. Happy New Year.

Wow, talk about pouring salt in the wound! I can't speak for all fans, of course, but for me hearing that note and imaging how it should have been read, with Luke in bed with Noah, made this turn of events even more awful. That was the point, of course, and it was clear that Luke felt exactly the same. The look Van Hansis had on his face in this scene completely said it all: Luke knows he just ruined everything and that he has no one to blame but himself. He truly broke my heart with that look.

This was good drama and that's what soaps are about. Luke is still clearly driven towards self destruction and his issues with alcohol haven't magically gone away. Seeing him eventually deal with this and get help should make for an excellent story for Van to play.

Luke being jealous of Maddie is also one of the more believable scenarios that the guys have dealt with in their relationship, especially given that he & Noah haven't been together physically and Luke knows quite well that Noah did have sex with Maddie. It also makes perfect sense that a drunk Luke would feel rejected and lonely and try and throw himself at someone he knows finds him attractive.

There's no denying that couples whom the audience want together are regularly driven apart in daytime. It is a staple of the medium, and the payoff of the eventual reunion can usually make it all worthwhile, provided that the story is written well.

But my issue here is that with other couples, there would already have been a payoff long before this. Yes, it's good drama, but it's drama whose main purpose is to keep Luke & Noah as daytime's longest suffering gay virgins.

There are only so many times that the show can break up and reunite these two without them finally making love, and I think we're already one or two break ups past that point.

Still, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn' t interested in what was going to happen next from here, not only between the boys but also with Brian. Plus, it's the first gay love triangle in daytime, sort of. I mean, Luke would need to have feelings for both Brian & Noah for it to truly qualify, but then who knows what the future holds?

Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann were both amazing in today's episode. Luke's continuing flirtation with self destruction and Noah's pain and anger were all perfectly played. The two of them really make this story worth watching, no matter how frustrating it can be

Call me naive, but I really think fans will eventually have a real payoff with Nuke. They're still far more sexual than any other gay male characters have ever been allowed to be on daytime and that alone makes them groundbreaking. We just need to get them to the next level already!

The Men Who Made 2008

First, a few more lists. Out Gay Life has a list of the Top Ten LGBT Rights Moments of 2008 and Politico has one naming the Ten Biggest Political Upsets of the year.

Second, just in the spirit of taking things easy this week, I'd like to share some of my favorite guys that I 'discovered' in 2008. I should note that several of these pictures came from Superherofan.net, which is now in my links over on the side ---->.

First, my favorite 'new' guy this year, One Life to Live's Mark Lawson. He plays the troubled Iraq War veteran Brody Lovett on the show, and he's just incredibly sexy. He's so hot, in fact, that I couldn't just choose a couple of photos to share! It was hard enough limiting it to five.
Mark was a bit less manscaped when he first debuted on the show, which I liked, but I'll take him any way I can get him!

Next up, Zachary Levi, who plays Chuck on, well, Chuck. I only recently started watching the show and discovered the very sexy Mr. Levi.
Then we have German soap star Thore Scholermann, who plays Christian Mann, one half of gay couple Christian & Ollie, on Verboten Liebe. Both men are hot, but Thore is just downright beautiful.
Andreas Jancke, who plays Christian's brother Gregor on Verboten Liebe, would also have to make my list, and I'm sure you can see why:
Next is someone I suppose I actually 'discovered' in late 2007, but I didn't really start to think of him as truly hot until this year. I don't watch his show, but I love coming across pictures on him online and I love searching YouTube for videos of him talking in his sexy real life British accent. I'm talking, of course, about Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl. Just the way he looks at a camera radiates sex.

Here's hoping the guys of 2009 will be just as hot!

Yes, More Lists

Yes, I'm giving you even more Best Of lists for 2008. I think the days between Christmas and New Year's Day should generally be a period for relaxing and reflecting.

James Wood of the New Yorker offers his Ten Favorite Books of the year, while Anthony Lane does Ten Best Films, with David Denby also offering his own film choices. I've read none of Wood's picks and seen none of the films that Lane mentions. I wonder if I should take this as a sign that I'm completely out of it, culturally speaking? Luckily, I have seen one of Denby's films, the excellent Rachel Getting Married. I also desperately want to see one of his other picks, Milk, but it's still not playing near me!

The fun continues with Sasha Frere-Jones' list of the Best Recordings of the year, Hilton Als' Best Stage and Screen Performances, and John Lahr with the Best Plays.

Now that I'm exhausting the supply other people's lists, I'll be doing some of my own in the next couple of days.

Review Time!

More year end reviews to peruse! I have to admit, I love these lists every year. It's always nice to pretend we can wrap up the year in neat little packages with a label or in succinct summaries.

AfterElton has 2008 in Gay Movies, and the year in Gay Television, while 365 Gay offers the eight top gay videos of the year. NPR has a nice section of Best Books of 2008 by various categories. The Guardian has a great angle on the tradition of year end lists, allowing readers to note their own selections of noteworthy books.

Gawker even has the Top 10 Feuds of 2008, complete with video evidence!