Aaron's Story: The Truth Shall Set You Free

Aaron's story on the British soap Emmerdale continues to pack an emotional punch and I'm loving every second of it. When I last wrote about Aaron, he'd returned home from the hospital and was being watched every moment of the day by his mother and Paddy, but his friendship with Adam had grown stronger than ever.

Aaron tenuously started to resume his daily life after a walk with his dog lead him by the garage and he was invited in for a drink by Cain. I loved the way Danny Miller played this particular scene, the hesitation on Aaron's part to enter the place where he'd tried to kill himself and also the underlying fear that he was going to be treated differently by his co-workers. His relief when Cain treated him exactly as he always had was almost palpable and by the end of the visit Aaron had agreed to return to work the next day.

There was still the not so little matter of the charges pending against Aaron for assaulting Jackson, though. Aaron himself seemed resigned to whatever punishment came his way and even refused to go with Paddy to meet with his solicitor.

Paddy returned with the news that Aaron was looking at six months in prison because his attack on Jackson was being viewed as a hate crime. If, however, Aaron told the court the truth about himself and what he was going through, he'd likely only get community service.

Paddy and Chastity both begged Aaron to admit the truth, but Aaron remained adamant that he was going to stay silent and take his punishment. When Aaron wouldn't listen to them, a desperate Paddy went to see Adam to fill him in and ask his help in convincing Aaron to open up about his sexuality to avoid time in prison.

Adam tracked down Jackson on a work site to ask him to withdraw his statement against Aaron, but Jackson refused. He softened a bit, though, when Adam revealed that Aaron had attempted to kill himself. Against his better judgement, he even let Adam talk him into going with him to see Aaron.

It wasn't exactly a harmonious meeting. Jackson told Aaron that things weren't all right between them, but that he didn't want to see Aaron go to prison.

Aaron: Oh, so why did you go to the police and tell them what I did?

Jackson: Well, you decked me so what did you expect?

Aaron: Well why didn't you tell them the rest of the truth then?

Jackson: You know why!

Aaron: What, because you wanted to get me done for gay bashing?

Jackson: I never wanted to out you! I mean, I wish I had now. If there's a way out of this, you've got to take it.

Aaron: Yeah, well, I can't.

Jackson: Why not?

Aaron: Do you want me to spell it out for you?

Jackson: Look, I'm trying to help!

Aaron: And I don't need your help!

Jackson decided he'd had enough at this point, and when Adam tried to keep him from leaving he said that if Aaron would rather go to prison than admit to being gay, he deserved what he got.

Adam sadly told Aaron that he'd just realized the truth: Aaron wanted to be punished because he couldn't handle what he was, and the saddest thing was that he was going to get his wish now that he'd thrown away his last chance.

After Adam left, Aaron silently buried his face in his hands.

In the days that followed, Paddy and Chastity kept trying to convince Aaron to tell the truth and save himself while Aaron alternated between pushing them away and readying himself for his prison sentence.

Aaron told everyone that he didn't want them coming to court with him, so when the morning came he said his farewells to his assembled family at Paddy's place and departed in a taxi.

He'd convinced himself that he was strong enough to survive in prison, but had his eyes opened before he even got in the taxi when his Aunt Lisa (who recently did some prison time herself) told him that they weren't going to allow him to take his ipod in with him, since it could be used as a weapon, and that even if they did let him, someone would steal if from him within minutes. Aaron tried to play the tough guy and said that no one would be messing with him, but his Uncle Zak advised him that he had to keep his head down and not draw any attention to himself if he wanted to make it through this.

Paddy put an end to the prison talk, reminding them all that he'd not even been sentenced yet. As Aaron was getting in the car, he noticed Adam watching sadly nearby and the two shared a nod. Once in the Taxi, the brave face Aaron had been putting on dissolved as tears began to spill down his cheeks. I have to say that Danny Miller cries better than any actor I've ever seen. You'd think with all his tears lately I'd be used to it, but every time he cries he manages to make it seem so raw and emotional that it feels like a punch to the stomach. You just want to wrap your arms around him, not that Aaron would ever let you, and tell him everything is going to be okay!

At the courthouse, Aaron's solicitor (and here's a nice little tie in to gay characters past, by the way: the solicitor was played by Scott Neal, the actor who played Ste in my very favorite gay themed movie, Beautiful Thing!) made one last attempt to get Aaron to see sense about his plea, but Aaron was still set on remaining silent.

Aaron looked so small and alone as he ascended into the dock to face the magistrate. Before the hearing actually began, though, Chastity called out Aaron's name and he turned to find Paddy, Chastity, Cain, Zak, Lisa, and Adam all there for him, in spite of his insistence that no one come. Instead of being angry, his eyes filled with tears and he nodded gratefully at them all. I loved how Danny Miller was able to convey, without saying a word, that their presence meant everything to Aaron!

The charges were read and Aaron was asked for his plea. Before he could answer, the door opened and Jackson walked in and took a seat up in the gallery, behind Aaron's family. The two of them shared a long look before Aaron plead guilty.

The prosecutor (or whatever they're called in the British court system) laid out the case that Aaron had targeted and attacked Jackson simply for being gay. Paddy and Chastity both had little outbursts up in the gallery (which the magistrate didn't seem to mind too much, merely shooting them a rather withering look; in an American court there would surely have been a lot of gavel banging and threats of contempt!) urging Aaron and/or Jackson to speak up.

They both remained quiet, though. The magistrate told Aaron that this was a clear cut case of a homophobic attack and that such a thing could not be tolerated. Aaron, his eyes red with tears, mumbled that it wasn't like that, and the magistrate ordered him to speak up if there was something he wanted to say.

Aaron: I can't. I can't say it. (Aaron turns to look at Jackson). I didn't target him. He came to see me.

Aaron's solicitor requested a recess called so that he could discuss all of this with Aaron before he spoke any further, but Aaron stopped him, saying that he'd already messed his life up this badly, so he might as well finish the job.

Aaron: He came to see me because he thought we were mates. He was in the pub, with my friends and my family, it just freaked me out. I needed to shut him up, so I hit him. But it wasn't like what you said. It wasn't because of what he was. Or what he is. I swear I didn't do it because he's gay.

I did it because I am.

I'm gay.

Needless to say, this was an intense moment for Aaron and I can't stress how beautifully done these scenes were. How many ways can I possibly find to say that Danny Miller is incredibly talented? There surely aren't enough words in the English language. Please, watch these scenes here if you haven't already!

Up in the gallery, Paddy, Chastity, and Adam all looked incredibly relieved and proud of Aaron, while Zak and Lisa looked dumbfounded by this piece of news. The magistrate asked Aaron to continue.

Aaron (crying): I didn't want to hurt him. I just... I just thought that he was gonna blurt it out. I thought that's what they did. They made you tell everyone, and if you didn't then they'd do it for you. But he was different. He was all right. I wanted to see him. But then when I did, I couldn't handle it. What I was thinking. About him. About me. I hit him. And I'm sorry.

The magistrate called for a ten minute recess. Out in the hall, Zak and Lisa questioned Cain about how long he'd known, while Chastity told Aaron how proud they were of him. Aaron, though, was wondering what his Uncle Cain and Uncle Zak were thinking about him. Paddy, meanwhile, had gone to look for Jackson but came back to report to Aaron that he'd gone. Aaron's solicitor warned him and Chastity that Aaron's last minute confession may have been too little, too late as far as sentencing was concerned.

Back in court, the Magistrate told Aaron that the attack was clearly a violent one, but that his genuine remorse and his admission, which had taken strength and courage, had convinced her that a prison sentence was not in his best interest. She sentenced him to 150 hours of community service instead.

The entire clan returned to Paddy's, but Aaron remained outside with Adam, not wanting to face a family gathering after his very public coming out. Inside, Zak was trying to make some sense of the news and asked Paddy if Aaron dating Holly had been all for show.

Paddy told Zak that Aaron had been trying to work things out in his head then and Zak said the boy must have had some idea, since you don't go 'that way' over night. Paddy told him that Aaron had been fighting his sexuality for years.

Lisa asked if Jackson was Aaron's boyfriend and Chastity chimed in, telling them all that Aaron hadn't had a boyfriend yet. Zak took this as evidence that Aaron couldn't know if he was really gay, then, because not having tried it he might find that he didn't like it!

Cain asked Zak if he'd ever looked at another guy and fancied him and when Zak told him to watch his mouth, Cain said that they could bet that Aaron had. This seemed to get through to Zak, at least a bit. Cain told Paddy to tell Aaron that he was expecting him at work the next day as usual. One thing they all agreed on: they'd protect their own, no matter what.

Adam and Aaron, meanwhile, had gone for a walk and Adam asked what had changed his mind about telling the truth. Was it Jackson? Aaron admitted that maybe it was, but also noted that Jackson hadn't stuck around afterward. He told Adam that he'd texted him to apologize and say that it would be cool if he wanted to go for a drink sometime.

Aaron said that he thought Jackson had only shown up to make sure he'd gone to prison, though, and Adam told him to get over Jackson and move on if that was the case.

Aaron admitted that he was worried that everyone was going to be acting differently towards him now.

Aaron: I just hate people knowing.

Adam: Well, they do, so get over it! Look, mate, I'm not going to lie to you. It's big news now. But it's not going to be for long, all right? At least it's over now. You've done it.

Aaron: And what if I've made the biggest mistake of my life?

Adam: Come on.

With that, Adam put his arm around Aaron and they walked off together. Can I just say, once again, how much I love the friendship between these two? It's really something special. I'm still trying to find good screencaps of the two of them together. This one is from last winter.

The next day, Aaron called in sick to work and spent the day lying on the sofa, staring into space while all around the village, people were discussing the banner front page headline to be found above a large photo of Aaron in the local paper: 'Hoodie Comes Out Of the Closet'.

At the garage, Ryan was trying to get his head around the fact that Aaron was gay, but really only seemed surprised, not truly bothered by it. When Chastity came by and showed them the paper, Ryan assured her that he and Cain were both 'cool with it'.

Chastity took the paper to Paddy's, where against Paddy's wishes she showed it to Aaron, feeling that he had to know what everyone was reading. Aaron was far from pleased, but a bit later, after he'd had a shower, he came back down and told Paddy and Chastity that he was going back to work the next day. He seemed much more at peace with himself than he's been in a very long time.

Aaron: It's out of my hands. I can't change anything. This is the way its got to be from now on, whether I like it or not.

Well, Aaron is officially out. I think he's got a long way to go before he's truly okay with who he is, of course. Will he find someone special to help him with that? I for one can't wait to find out.