The show picked up right where Friday's episode left off, with Fish telling Layla and Cristian that he was gay. It was the first time in his life that Fish had ever said those words out loud, and though it was a breakthrough, it didn't mean that he'd just accepted himself and was ready to move on.
As Oliver explained to his roommates, he hates the fact that he's gay, but he hates the lying and what it's doing to people even more. Fish apologized to his friends for lying to them and Layla said that she knew this was hard for him. What had happened, she wondered, to get him to finally say the words?
Fish, leaving out the key detail of sleeping with a certain woman, explained that he'd gotten wasted the night before and when he woke up... well, he just had to stop this, to fix it, to come out (and he should probably get checked for STDs since he did unspeakable things with Stacy Morasco, without protection!).
Layla asked why he'd been so scared, telling him that there was nothing wrong with being gay and pointing out that even at work it wouldn't be that big of a deal, that Commissioner Buchanan and John McBain weren't going to care that he was gay.
Oliver brought up the rest of the guys at the station and Layla admitted that there were a few jerks there. Cristian pointed out that times were different but Fish said that he worked in a police station, which isn't exactly a center for political correctness. Layla told him that his job was safe, that they couldn't let him go over his sexuality.
Fish explained that it wasn't his job security he was worried about, it was what people were going to think when they looked at him. He doesn't want anyone to know, not even Cris and Layla.
His roomies assured him that they didn't think any less of him now that they knew the truth and that's when Fish mentioned his parents.
Layla: I spoke to them on the phone. They seemed nice.
Fish: Yeah, they are. They build houses for poor people and they volunteer at the soup kitchen. My dad's gotten all kinds of commendations for bravery on the job.
Cristian: Yeah, you said he was the reason you wanted to become a cop.
Fish: Yeah, he is. But he has a very definite idea of what it means to be a man.
Layla: Oh yeah?
Cristian: Like what?
Fish: Like a man doesn't cry. Ever. Even if he's five and he falls off his bike. Or if he misses a fly ball and loses the game. Crying is for women and for fags.
Layla: Wow.
Cristian: Yeah, no wonder you never said anything before.
Layla: How did you deal? I mean, growing up, once you figured out you were gay?
Fish: I didn't. I acted as if. You know the saying, act as if you have something or are something and you will be. So I acted. You know, I asked the shy girl in my Latin class to homecoming. And she wasn't very pretty, so nobody else would ask her out, and she never expected anything from me, so I passed. And then I went to college and it was a thousand miles from home and I joined a frat because that was the good straight thing to do, the frat. And that's where I met Kyle. He was just like me and for the first time in my life I looked at someone and I just felt welcome. He saw me and it was amazing. Until it wasn't.
Fish: Yeah, they are. They build houses for poor people and they volunteer at the soup kitchen. My dad's gotten all kinds of commendations for bravery on the job.
Cristian: Yeah, you said he was the reason you wanted to become a cop.
Fish: Yeah, he is. But he has a very definite idea of what it means to be a man.
Layla: Oh yeah?
Cristian: Like what?
Fish: Like a man doesn't cry. Ever. Even if he's five and he falls off his bike. Or if he misses a fly ball and loses the game. Crying is for women and for fags.
Layla: Wow.
Cristian: Yeah, no wonder you never said anything before.
Layla: How did you deal? I mean, growing up, once you figured out you were gay?
Fish: I didn't. I acted as if. You know the saying, act as if you have something or are something and you will be. So I acted. You know, I asked the shy girl in my Latin class to homecoming. And she wasn't very pretty, so nobody else would ask her out, and she never expected anything from me, so I passed. And then I went to college and it was a thousand miles from home and I joined a frat because that was the good straight thing to do, the frat. And that's where I met Kyle. He was just like me and for the first time in my life I looked at someone and I just felt welcome. He saw me and it was amazing. Until it wasn't.
Scott Evans was so incredible in this particular scene. Listening to Fish talk about what he'd been through (still an all too familiar story for many LGBT people), I was struck once again by the writing and how well this story is being told, but that was a secondary reaction to the scene after my more immediate emotional reaction. Watching Fish begin to tear up as he talked about all of this, my own eyes were far from dry.
Scott Evans should submit this scene for the Daytime Emmys next year, not that they've been big on giving the awards to people who play gay male characters thus far. Still, I think this scene alone would merit a nomination. Tika Sumpter, meanwhile, would be crazy if she didn't submit her confrontation scenes with Fish from last Thursday. She was truly amazing and while I liked her well enough before, I'm a fan now.
Anyway, so my heart broke for Fish today. He's always been such a lovable character, so to see that he's been carrying all of this around with him his whole life has an impact. It may even be opening some eyes among viewers who haven't ever given a thought to what their presumption of heterosexuality may be doing to someone in their own lives.
Fish has got such a long way to go still, and I'm actually very glad about that. Most of the time, a character will come out, be more or less accepted after a time, and that's that. Fish, though, is going to have to really work on becoming okay with his sexuality. Saying the words was huge, but he's still so full of self hatred and the ideas impressed upon him by his father about what a man has to be. I'm really looking forward to watching this whole story unfold and seeing what Scott Evans does with it.
As the World Turns wasted a simliar chance this past year with the character of Brian Wheatley. He departed the show in the same episode in which he finally came out, so we missed the actual story that should have followed. But, One Life to Live will tell it a hell of a lot better with Fish than the writers at ATWT would have, I'm sure.
Back to today's show. Fish gave Layla and Cristian his key to the apartment and told them that he'd keep paying rent until they found a new roommate. His friends told him that they didn't need a new roommate, but Fish said that after what he'd done, they must hate him. Layla said she was hurt, but she'd get over it, and he's been a good roommate. The three shared a laugh and it was a nice, light moment that was a perfect follow up to the heavier scene that preceded it, with Oliver obviously feeling relieved and very moved that Cris and Layla still wanted him around.
This was interrupted, though, by a phone call from Fish's father. When a shaken Fish hung up the phone, he told Layla and Cris that his parents were on their way to Llanview- to meet his girlfriend.
That's where today's show ended. I don't think Fish is at all ready yet to come out to his parents, so my guess is that we're in for a story where Layla pretends that they're still together, until the truth somehow comes out.
I still haven't caught up on the rest of the soaps yet, but I'm hoping to do so over the next few days.
Scott Evans should submit this scene for the Daytime Emmys next year, not that they've been big on giving the awards to people who play gay male characters thus far. Still, I think this scene alone would merit a nomination. Tika Sumpter, meanwhile, would be crazy if she didn't submit her confrontation scenes with Fish from last Thursday. She was truly amazing and while I liked her well enough before, I'm a fan now.
Anyway, so my heart broke for Fish today. He's always been such a lovable character, so to see that he's been carrying all of this around with him his whole life has an impact. It may even be opening some eyes among viewers who haven't ever given a thought to what their presumption of heterosexuality may be doing to someone in their own lives.
Fish has got such a long way to go still, and I'm actually very glad about that. Most of the time, a character will come out, be more or less accepted after a time, and that's that. Fish, though, is going to have to really work on becoming okay with his sexuality. Saying the words was huge, but he's still so full of self hatred and the ideas impressed upon him by his father about what a man has to be. I'm really looking forward to watching this whole story unfold and seeing what Scott Evans does with it.
As the World Turns wasted a simliar chance this past year with the character of Brian Wheatley. He departed the show in the same episode in which he finally came out, so we missed the actual story that should have followed. But, One Life to Live will tell it a hell of a lot better with Fish than the writers at ATWT would have, I'm sure.
Back to today's show. Fish gave Layla and Cristian his key to the apartment and told them that he'd keep paying rent until they found a new roommate. His friends told him that they didn't need a new roommate, but Fish said that after what he'd done, they must hate him. Layla said she was hurt, but she'd get over it, and he's been a good roommate. The three shared a laugh and it was a nice, light moment that was a perfect follow up to the heavier scene that preceded it, with Oliver obviously feeling relieved and very moved that Cris and Layla still wanted him around.
This was interrupted, though, by a phone call from Fish's father. When a shaken Fish hung up the phone, he told Layla and Cris that his parents were on their way to Llanview- to meet his girlfriend.
That's where today's show ended. I don't think Fish is at all ready yet to come out to his parents, so my guess is that we're in for a story where Layla pretends that they're still together, until the truth somehow comes out.
I still haven't caught up on the rest of the soaps yet, but I'm hoping to do so over the next few days.
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