Aaron's Story: Catching Up, Part 1

Things have been very busy for me lately, so I'd fallen behind in both watching and writing about Aaron's story on the British soap Emmerdale. I've finally caught up, at least through the beginning of this past week, so I'm now going to cover two week's worth of story at once. I'm going to divide this into two posts so that it's not too tediously long.

In case you're wondering, I'm also behind on this past week's LuRe episodes of As the World Turns, but my plan is to be caught up by the end of the weekend and to write about them on Sunday night.

You'll recall that when I last wrote about Aaron, he'd just had his first kiss with Jackson, only to turn around and discover that his best friend Adam had witnessed the whole thing.

Paddy was concerned the next day when Aaron, who'd left the house in a good mood the night before, suddenly went all quiet and moody again. Paddy turned to Marlon for advice on whether or not he should push Aaron to talk to him about what had happened, and Marlon suggested once again that Paddy talk to Aaron's mother about the whole situation. In the end, Paddy decided to just wait and see if Aaron's mood improved.

Meanwhile, Adam ran into Aaron's co-worker, Ryan, in the pub and heard about Aaron's bad mood for himself. Adam headed over to the garage to talk to his friend and attempted to let him know that he didn't care that Aaron was gay.

Everything he said was met with complete silence, though, when Aaron kept on working as if Adam wasn't even there. In the end, Adam walked away after telling Aaron that he was there if he wanted to talk.

Over the next days, Aaron remained more or less silent and broody, except when he was lashing out at people in the village. After witnessing one such incident, Adam took it upon himself to speak to Paddy when the veterinarian was on a working visit to his family's farm.

After nervously ascertaining that Paddy already knew about Aaron being gay, Adam filled him in on the kiss he saw between Aaron and Jackson, and that Aaron knew he'd seen and was freaked out by it.

Adam: I just wanted him to know that it's okay, that I'm his mate and I'm cool with it, you know? But he's completely shut me out.

Paddy: You can see why.

Adam: How do you mean?

Paddy: Adam, you were the one who was trying to out him when he was first going through all this!

Adam: Yeah, but that was different, all right, I was protecting Holly!

Paddy: Well, you're not protecting your sister now, are you? He goes through all that with you, and more, and then just as he's about to come to terms with it, he goes out on his first date and there you are, of all the people!

Adam: Yeah, all right, I didn't mean to.

Paddy: I know. I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you, but it's the last thing he needed.

Adam: I just wanted him to see that-

Paddy: Leave it. Please. Back off. The situation is bad enough as it is.

I really liked that Adam was making a real effort to show Aaron that he honestly didn't care about his sexuality.

The next day, Paddy told Aaron about his conversation with Adam and that they were both worried about him, but Aaron quickly shut the conversation down and stormed off. Jackson, meanwhile, kept trying to reach Aaron on his phone, but Aaron wasn't answering his calls.

Aaron was in the pub with Ryan when Adam and Scarlett came in to have a few drinks in celebration of Adam's birthday. Things seemed to be getting back on the right track when Aaron actually talked to his friend and wished him a happy birthday.

At that point, though, Jackson showed up at the pub. Adam spotted him first and choked a bit on his drink, which got Aaron's attention. Aaron quickly pulled Jackson aside to ask him what the hell he was doing there.

Jackson explained that he'd come to see if he was okay, since he wasn't answering his phone. Aaron reluctantly bought Jackson a drink but told him that he couldn't 'do this'. Jackson assured him that he'd got the message and would leave when he'd finished his drink. He was just getting up to go when Ryan joined them, though, and after they'd chatted for a bit Aaron's co-worker suggested that the three of them head out for a night on the town together.

Aaron was clearly uncomfortable with all of this, but it seemed to amuse Jackson, who really didn't seem to grasp just how desperately closeted his new love interest was. Ryan went to use the bathroom before they left and when Jackson playfully grabbed Aaron's arm to pull him up from the table, Aaron completely panicked. It wasn't a gesture anyone would even have noticed if Aaron's own reaction hadn't called attention to the two of them.

In front of the everyone in the pub Aaron loudly told Jackson to keep his hands to himself, calling him a pervert and punching him. He might have done worse if Paddy hadn't been there to hold him back and pull him out of the pub. As they left, Aaron yelled for people to stay away from Jackson: they might catch something.

Watching Aaron self destruct like that was pretty hard, even if it was completely expected given where the character is at in terms of self acceptance.

Back home, Paddy went off on Aaron, pointing out that Jackson had never done anything but show him a bit of kindness. He told Aaron that people were going to think he was a gay basher and Aaron said he preferred that to being called queer.

Before they could argue any further, the police showed up at the door and arrested Aaron for assault.

Paddy and Aaron's mother, Chastity, with whom he has a very strained relationship, picked him up at the police station after he was charged with ABH (which, being American, I had to look up: it stands for Actual Bodily Harm and is apparently the equivalent of our Aggravated Assault). Chastity was furious with Aaron for attacking someone for being gay.

Chastity: Beating Paddy half to death give you a taste of maiming people, is that it?

Paddy: Chas!

Chastity: (to Paddy) No, don't! (to Aaron) Who's next? Women? Children? Oooh, the disabled, yeah, because they'd be nice easy targets!

Aaron: You don't know nothing about me.

Chastity: So come on then, enlighten me! What's going on inside that sick head of yours?

Aaron: Shut up.

Chastity: Or what, you're going to start on me are ya? Give me a good pasting, show everyone what a big man you are? Only, that's your problem, isn't it? Because you're not really a real man, you're just a coward.

Aaron: (fighting back tears) I'm sorry.

This scene was so hard to watch. Chastity was completely clueless to the fact that she was saying the exact things to Aaron that he'd always feared hearing from her, only for very different reasons. Danny Miller's subdued reaction as Aaron, with tears building up just beneath the surface until they finally spilled over as he heard the very thing that terrified him the most, his mother saying that he wasn't a real man, was incredibly powerful.

After Chastity stormed out, Paddy told Aaron that it wasn't too late to tell his mother the truth but Aaron said that he couldn't. Paddy begged him to stop all of this before it got any worse, but Aaron just walked out the door.

Chastity, meanwhile, went home to her boyfriend in tears and told him that she'd failed her son and that after what he'd done, she wasn't even sure if she could love him anymore.

Aaron headed to work at the garage, where his Uncle Cain and Ryan were both waiting to give him a hard time about what had happened.

Cain: Stop off to join any hate groups on your way home? Heard the neo-nazis were looking for new members.

Cain asked if Aaron was going to be charged and joked that he wasn't sure if Debbie (his daughter, who owns the garage) would want anyone with a criminal record working there. Aaron's rejoinder was that Cain, with a colorful past of his own, should start looking for new work in that case.

Cain: Fighting talk that is. Thought you only saved that for your little gay friends.

Ryan: So what did he do, anyway? I mean, like, you must have known he was a bit... a bit that way.

Cain: Maybe his gaydar needed some new batteries.

Adam (walking in): Have you got a minute?

Cain: Whoa, whoa, careful. He doesn't like when boys start to crowd him.

Aaron cut Adam off with the news that he was being charged with ABH and dismissed him, saying he was busy. Adam told Aaron that he was going to need a mate one of these days, and he hoped that he had someone left when that time came.

Paddy went to see Marlon again, feeling that he'd clearly failed with Aaron. Marlon finally convinced Paddy that he couldn't carry the burden of trying to help the kid all by himself any longer, so Paddy headed for the factory where Chastity works.

Chastity was at first completely disbelieving and then very shaken by the news that Aaron was gay, and had been involved with Jackson. Paddy asked her to come by his place after work to talk about things and told her that everything with Aaron would be okay as long as they worked together.

Meanwhile, a fed up Marlon passed Aaron in the street and finally snapped, calling him out on kicking in the teeth of anyone who got too close to him. Aaron offered to give his cousin a demonstration of that, but Marlon told him that his act wasn't fooling anyone, and that he knew the truth, that Paddy had told him.

Marlon tried to convince Aaron that their family could cope with the truth, but Aaron claimed not to know what Marlon was talking about and hurried off.

When Paddy got back to his surgery after his visit to Chas Aaron was there waiting for him, having smashed the place up. Aaron's rage had already passed by the time Paddy arrived, though, and he was sitting against the wall with tears in his eyes, sounding completely numb as he spoke.

Aaron: You, of all people. I trusted you. All those things that you said to me, that you loved me.

Paddy: They're true.

Aaron: No, no they're not. If they were, you wouldn't have told Marlon. You swore to me that you didn't tell him. No one else had to know, they were your words.

Paddy: I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. Please, you've got to believe me. I'm trying to help.

Aaron: What, by making everyone laugh at me?

Paddy: No one is laughing. That's all in your head.

Aaron: So who else have you told, then? (Paddy's guilty look is enough for Aaron to guess that he's told Chastity) No! No, not her as well.

Paddy told Aaron that he'd only told Chastity the truth because he cared about Aaron and couldn't watch him destroy himself.

Aaron tried to leave, saying that everyone would know now, because of Paddy. Paddy blocked the door, asking why he was afraid of a few people calling him names, but Aaron warned him that he'd better move. Paddy stepped aside, saying that maybe his mother had been right. The Aaron he knew, Paddy said, would have stayed and fought. Maybe he really was a coward.

Aaron left Paddy's surgery and headed for the garage, where Ryan was just heading out for the night and asked him to lock up. That was exactly what Aaron did, too, but he locked himself inside with a car running.

The attempted suicide scenes were very painful to watch. Danny Miller did a fantastic job of portraying Aaron's complete and utter hopelessness. In Aaron's mind, everyone would know now the truth he hated so much and there was nothing for him to live for. Watching him sitting in the car as the garage filled up with carbon monoxide fumes, it all just felt very real.

While Paddy and Chastity waited back at his place for Aaron to return, Adam showed up at the garage looking for his friend and heard the motor running inside the closed up building. Adam broke a window and was able to make out through the fumes that his best friend was inside. Cain showed up about that time, ready to kick Adam's ass for trying to break into the garage, but once he realized what was going on the two of them managed to get inside and drag the very lifeless Aaron outside.

While Adam called an ambulance and began performing CPR, Cain ran to get Paddy. With Adam trying desperately to save his best friend, Paddy standing numbly by after not being able to find a pulse, and Chastity wailing that Aaron couldn't leave her, Cain spoke aloud what they all must have realized, that it couldn't have been an accident, that Aaron had been trying to kill himself.