Here it is, a Friday night, and I'm not out doing something wild & crazy, I'm not out being romanced by the guy of my dreams. I did catch a movie with some of my friends, so I guess I'm not utterly pathetic. But, boy, life sure isn't like the movies, is it? How many Friday nights are spent solo in the movies?
Of course, it doesn't help that more often than not, I find excuses to avoid going out with my friends.
The truth of the matter is that sometimes I can be sitting there with my friends, and they're all having a wonderful time, and I'm just feeling really, really alone.
Don't get me wrong, I love them all dearly. They're my friends. But sometimes I wonder what it says about me that I've ended up being friends with people who only want to talk about what's going on in their love lives.
Forget talking about politics, or anything serious. If I even try, it's like I'm killing the fun. They just don't care.
Well, I shouldn't say that. They care for awhile when election time rolls around. And they care enough to bitch briefly here and there about Bush & co, as long as it doesn't turn into a real discussion. But most of the time, they just don't want to talk about it.
In fact, I have this one friend in particular. Let's call her Andie.
Andie is a wonderful person, very outgoing, always the life of any party or gathering. She's also a really strong woman, someone who came out to her parents and everyone else she knew when she was still in high school. She was very concerned last Fall about the outcome of the Presidential election, and I had several nervous calls from her on election night, as things started to look dicey and then downright bad.
But most of the time, you can't talk about anything political with Andie. There has been more than one occasion when someone (and, believe it or not, I don't mean me!) has tried to start a discussion about something- the war in Iraq, environmental issues, etc.- and Andie has put a stop to it with "I don't want to talk about any negative things today!"
I'm not someone who has to talk about politics all the time. What's going on is important, yes. But there are many other things I enjoy discussing. Books. Movies. TV Shows. Hot guys. Life in general.
But it's really frustrating to me that so many people, so many intelligent people, take Andie's general attitude. They'd rather not think about anything 'negative'. Ignore it, and it'll go away, in other words.
That doesn't do us any good. In fact, that just let's these people in power continue to do whatever the hell they want. They know that they'll face serious protests and outrage from a large number, but they also know that an even larger number is going to be so wrapped up in their own lives that they won't bother paying attention or caring until it's too late.
So many of my friends, when we get together, just want to talk about their personal lives and nothing else. I hear about countless relationship dramas, family dramas, or work dramas. I admit that those things matter, too, but why are they our only focus?
And why do I always end up going along with those conversations, biting back what I really want to talk about so that I won't bore everyone? I feel like a total closet case when I'm with them, hiding who I really am because they probably won't approve! Only it's not my sexuality I'm hiding, it's the large part of me that cares about what's going on outside of our own little circle.
I get so depressed over it sometimes, and I think it's just me. I'm too serious. I should be just having fun. I should just go with the flow. Sometimes I really, really want to just not care. I wish I could stop and live a blissful life where the only thing that matters is how my hair looks and getting that hot guy into bed. Life would be so much more simple.
But that's not who I am and if I'm honest, I'm proud that it's not.
If that gorgeous guy who catches my eye and makes his way across the room to talk to me is going to decide I'm too serious for him, so what? Even the most gorgeous guy becomes a hell of a lot less attractive if he doesn't care about the world we're living in.
Don't get me wrong, if he's really gorgeous, I'd probably think 'What the hell, life is short', and spend a night with him. But I'd know it was nothing more than that. I could never settle for less with a guy that could be someone important in my life, so why do I so often let myself settle for less with my friends? Why do I let them set the topics of conversation and make me feel like some boring drag on the conversation if I dare talk about something that interests me and affects all our lives?
I saw blogging as a way to start speaking out more about what's going on in our world, but blogging shouldn't be the only outlet.
I've changed a lot in the last few years, and I think the friends I have now are more indicative of who I used to be. I would never want to lose them, but it's time that I start being myself around them. In a way, it's like coming out of the closet all over again. And just like when you come out of the closet, you have to accept that some people will want to be in your life and some may not.
It's their choice. They need to be who they are, but I need to be who I am. Hopefully, we can find some balance.
Either way, this isn't a time in history when any of us can afford to be silent.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Chief Justice Blues
You're most likely to find new posts from me here either in the afternoon or late at night, just so you know. Classes, along with the reading, writing, and studying that goes with them, take up a lot of my time, especially in the evenings. I grab what free time I can for myself, and now that I'm blogging, too, things are probably going to be pretty tight for awhile, time wise.
And did I mention that I work weekends? So much for a social life! And here I thought the college years were supposed to be all about parties and hooking up. Did the movies lie? What a horrible thought!
So, today was the day that John Roberts was confirmed by the Senate and sworn in as our new Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. The guy is only fifty years old and you know that our Government officials all have the best health care our tax money can provide (for them, of course, not for us!), so we're looking at the guy who is going to lead the court until 2040 or so.
In light of that, you might have thought the Democrats in the Senate would have put up a bit more fight. Sure, 22 of them voted against him, but so what? Given all the unanswered questions and the refusal to release all the documents relating to his work in the White House, particularly during George Bush I's Administration, the Democrats should have filibustered him on principle alone.
They did it with John Bolton, remember. They shut down his nomination because documents from the State Department weren't handed over. They should have done the same here.
But apparently enough of them were won over by his smiling charm and that adorable little son of his, paraded around just enough to paint the perfect picture of decency and family values.
Well, now we're stuck with him. Maybe he'll surprise us. Once on the court, Justices have been know to shock those who appointed them, or to slowly change over the years and become more moderate.
But can you really imagine this administration appointing anyone who wasn't going to stick to the Conservative hard line all the days of his life? I can't. They wouldn't leave anything to chance.
I read today in one of the news articles that Roberts was confirmed by the biggest majority ever for a Chief Justice. Someone Bush appointed got the biggest majority ever. Way to go Senate Democrats! Ever hear of the term 'opposition party'?
Of course, to have an opposition party, we'd have to have people serving who are actually in opposition to what the Republicans stand for. And the majority of elected Democrats aren't. They just stand for a more moderate, toned down version.
Anyone who cares about their freedoms and civil liberties should be worried right now. And as a gay man, it's doubly worrying to me that issues affecting my daily life, like my right to someday marry the person I love, to adopt children, to not be discriminated against in the work place because of my sexual orientation, and possibly even the right to have sex with the person I love in the privacy of our own home, will be coming before a court headed by a man who most likely holds the same rigid views as George W. Bush.
Some people are saying that it's okay, because it doesn't change the balance of the court. Roberts replaced the equally conservative Rehnquist, so the status quo isn't affected.
Bullshit. First of all, Roberts was nominated to replace O'Connor to start with, so don't fool yourself for a second into thinking that the next Nominee won't be just as conservative. Bush showed that altering the balance is his primary goal. And you know what? Had Rehnquist not died, there's no real doubt in my mind that Roberts would still have been confirmed today, as O'Connor's replacement. The Democrats weren't going to fight his nomination either way.
So don't lull yourselves into complacency. The balance is going to shift and the shit will be hitting the fan for decades to come. The only way the Democrats will fight the next nominee is if some skeleton emerges from his or her closet, or if the nominee is abrasive enough to make them feel safe doing so. John Roberts came off as such a nice guy that a lot of the Democrats seemed to be scared to oppose him strongly.
And don't think Bush & co didn't notice that. Look for the next nominee to be just as charming, if they can manage it.
Forgive me if I sound a bit defeatist right now. But the fact of the matter is, things aren't going to change until we make them change. It's time to vote this bunch of Centrist Democrats out of office and replace them with true liberals. That's the only way we're going to truly oppose the Republicans.
These scaredy cats in Congress aren't going to strongly oppose anything Bush & co put forward until they're sure it won't hurt them with centrist voters. Well, what more do they need? Bush is lower in the polls than he's ever been. When do these idiots feel safe enough to start showing some real backbone? And when do the Republicans wake up to the fact that Bush is nothing but a big old anchor around their necks? When will they finally distance themselves?
It's coming, but can it come quickly enough to spare us another John Roberts sitting on the bench in O'Connor's seat?
I wouldn't bet on it. But the horrible truth is, we all stand to lose a lot without even placing a bet.
I hate to end on a down note. Worse, I hate to go to sleep in a bad mood. But wait! Tom DeLay was indicted today and had to 'temporarily' step down as House Majority Leader.
Ah, now that's something to smile about.
That and some sweet dreams about the hot guy in a tight t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination who sat next to me in class today should be enough to have me feeling optimistic again in the morning.
And did I mention that I work weekends? So much for a social life! And here I thought the college years were supposed to be all about parties and hooking up. Did the movies lie? What a horrible thought!
So, today was the day that John Roberts was confirmed by the Senate and sworn in as our new Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. The guy is only fifty years old and you know that our Government officials all have the best health care our tax money can provide (for them, of course, not for us!), so we're looking at the guy who is going to lead the court until 2040 or so.
In light of that, you might have thought the Democrats in the Senate would have put up a bit more fight. Sure, 22 of them voted against him, but so what? Given all the unanswered questions and the refusal to release all the documents relating to his work in the White House, particularly during George Bush I's Administration, the Democrats should have filibustered him on principle alone.
They did it with John Bolton, remember. They shut down his nomination because documents from the State Department weren't handed over. They should have done the same here.
But apparently enough of them were won over by his smiling charm and that adorable little son of his, paraded around just enough to paint the perfect picture of decency and family values.
Well, now we're stuck with him. Maybe he'll surprise us. Once on the court, Justices have been know to shock those who appointed them, or to slowly change over the years and become more moderate.
But can you really imagine this administration appointing anyone who wasn't going to stick to the Conservative hard line all the days of his life? I can't. They wouldn't leave anything to chance.
I read today in one of the news articles that Roberts was confirmed by the biggest majority ever for a Chief Justice. Someone Bush appointed got the biggest majority ever. Way to go Senate Democrats! Ever hear of the term 'opposition party'?
Of course, to have an opposition party, we'd have to have people serving who are actually in opposition to what the Republicans stand for. And the majority of elected Democrats aren't. They just stand for a more moderate, toned down version.
Anyone who cares about their freedoms and civil liberties should be worried right now. And as a gay man, it's doubly worrying to me that issues affecting my daily life, like my right to someday marry the person I love, to adopt children, to not be discriminated against in the work place because of my sexual orientation, and possibly even the right to have sex with the person I love in the privacy of our own home, will be coming before a court headed by a man who most likely holds the same rigid views as George W. Bush.
Some people are saying that it's okay, because it doesn't change the balance of the court. Roberts replaced the equally conservative Rehnquist, so the status quo isn't affected.
Bullshit. First of all, Roberts was nominated to replace O'Connor to start with, so don't fool yourself for a second into thinking that the next Nominee won't be just as conservative. Bush showed that altering the balance is his primary goal. And you know what? Had Rehnquist not died, there's no real doubt in my mind that Roberts would still have been confirmed today, as O'Connor's replacement. The Democrats weren't going to fight his nomination either way.
So don't lull yourselves into complacency. The balance is going to shift and the shit will be hitting the fan for decades to come. The only way the Democrats will fight the next nominee is if some skeleton emerges from his or her closet, or if the nominee is abrasive enough to make them feel safe doing so. John Roberts came off as such a nice guy that a lot of the Democrats seemed to be scared to oppose him strongly.
And don't think Bush & co didn't notice that. Look for the next nominee to be just as charming, if they can manage it.
Forgive me if I sound a bit defeatist right now. But the fact of the matter is, things aren't going to change until we make them change. It's time to vote this bunch of Centrist Democrats out of office and replace them with true liberals. That's the only way we're going to truly oppose the Republicans.
These scaredy cats in Congress aren't going to strongly oppose anything Bush & co put forward until they're sure it won't hurt them with centrist voters. Well, what more do they need? Bush is lower in the polls than he's ever been. When do these idiots feel safe enough to start showing some real backbone? And when do the Republicans wake up to the fact that Bush is nothing but a big old anchor around their necks? When will they finally distance themselves?
It's coming, but can it come quickly enough to spare us another John Roberts sitting on the bench in O'Connor's seat?
I wouldn't bet on it. But the horrible truth is, we all stand to lose a lot without even placing a bet.
I hate to end on a down note. Worse, I hate to go to sleep in a bad mood. But wait! Tom DeLay was indicted today and had to 'temporarily' step down as House Majority Leader.
Ah, now that's something to smile about.
That and some sweet dreams about the hot guy in a tight t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination who sat next to me in class today should be enough to have me feeling optimistic again in the morning.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
The First Post
Welcome to Seth in the City. I should probably tell you all up front that I'm not in that city. Though one of these days, I'd like to be. For now, I'm a lot farther to the west.
You're probably curious about who I am, and that's always an interesting question. How do you label yourself? We all seem to rush to find our labels in life, most of them coming from whatever career we choose and whatever relationships we put the most stock in. "I'm a Doctor." "I'm a father." "I'm a broker." "I'm a lover" "I'm a star, baby!"
I really don't like defining myself by labels. We're all so much more than any specific role in life. But for the sake of introducing myself, I'll toss out a few labels that could be said to fit my current status in life, in no particular order:
College Student
Son
Progressive
Gay male
Wage slave to corporate America
Brother
Liberal
Friend
Reader
History Major
Partially Reformed Television Addict
American
I think that will suffice for now for a general picture of the sort of person I am.
This blog is about my life and the world I find myself living it in. And what a world, huh? I think we're going to get to the sunshine of a brighter day sooner or later, but for the moment we're practically living in the neo Dark Ages.
You'll notice that I'm a history major. One of the things that has always fascinated me the most about history is how arbitrary it is. Think about it for a minute. None of us has any control over where we're born, or in what time period. Fate made me a 21st century American, and there's nothing I can really do about that, short of changing my nationality. But even then, I'd still have been shaped by growing up in this country, in this time period.
The cool thing, though, is that we do have some control over how we help shape the place and time we're born into. Especially in the age of the Internet, when we can all make ourselves heard and come together like never before.
This is going to be a very political blog. There's no getting around that. Life itself is political. You can't exist in this world without being directly affected on a daily basis by politics.
So you can expect me to be sharing my views on a lot of political issues, pretty much all the time.
But this isn't going to be a blog just about politics. This is going to be about life as I find it. I'll write about college life, about movies, music, books, or television shows that catch my interest. I'll write about my friends and family. I'll definitely be writing about hot guys. Sexuality is just as big a part of our lives as politics. In fact, the two are very much intertwined these days, especially if you happen to be a gay guy or a lesbian.
So, if you're someone who's going to be offended by political views that are decidedly to the left of the majority of Democrats currently holding office, this blog may not be your thing. If you think George W. Bush is doing a decent job, or if you think John Roberts is going to be a hell of a good Chief Justice, you're not going to find much here at Seth in the City to agree with.
On the other side of the coin, if you think the Democrats in Congress are doing a good job, if you think Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are excellent Minority Leaders, if you think Hillary Clinton is a Liberal, then you, too, will find yourself without a lot to agree with here.
Democrat is no longer synonymous with liberal, if indeed it ever truly was. There are some true liberals holding elected office nationally as Democrats, but they're in the minority of the Minority party. Our Congress is made up of the Conservatives and the Centrists, with a smattering of liberals here and there.
So you won't find me patting Democrats on the back just because they serve with a D after their names and aren't as bad as the other guys. 'Not as bad' is not good enough.
And if you're someone who just can't stand to read a blog in which a gay guy dishes on hotties, hit the road. I like guys, and I'm going to be talking about them a lot.
Just to fill you in on my 'type' of guys, I should say that I'm mostly attracted to dark haired guys. Chest hair is a definite turn on, but not an absolute necessity. Think Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, Mark Ruffalo. Hot guys in glasses and/or with accents get bonus points.
Of course, if I'd been writing this blog a few years back, you'd be surprised at how different my tastes were. I preferred smooth blond guys back then. Think Ryan Phillippe, think Hayden Christensen.
My tastes moved from the rather bland, safe teen-idol type guys to the sort of guys who you could actually imagine fucking as I grew more comfortable with being gay and being a sexual human being.
But that's the fun thing about life. We don't stay the same. We grow, we change, we learn. At least, we're supposed to. Maybe someone should clue Bush & co in on this?
Nothing is really off limits here. You'll find me talking about just about anything that comes to mind.
Tomorrow I'll be adding some links to some excellent political blogs I frequent, as well as some other sites, so check back for that.
Right now, I've got a TON of reading to do for my classes tomorrow, so I should get to it.
You're probably curious about who I am, and that's always an interesting question. How do you label yourself? We all seem to rush to find our labels in life, most of them coming from whatever career we choose and whatever relationships we put the most stock in. "I'm a Doctor." "I'm a father." "I'm a broker." "I'm a lover" "I'm a star, baby!"
I really don't like defining myself by labels. We're all so much more than any specific role in life. But for the sake of introducing myself, I'll toss out a few labels that could be said to fit my current status in life, in no particular order:
College Student
Son
Progressive
Gay male
Wage slave to corporate America
Brother
Liberal
Friend
Reader
History Major
Partially Reformed Television Addict
American
I think that will suffice for now for a general picture of the sort of person I am.
This blog is about my life and the world I find myself living it in. And what a world, huh? I think we're going to get to the sunshine of a brighter day sooner or later, but for the moment we're practically living in the neo Dark Ages.
You'll notice that I'm a history major. One of the things that has always fascinated me the most about history is how arbitrary it is. Think about it for a minute. None of us has any control over where we're born, or in what time period. Fate made me a 21st century American, and there's nothing I can really do about that, short of changing my nationality. But even then, I'd still have been shaped by growing up in this country, in this time period.
The cool thing, though, is that we do have some control over how we help shape the place and time we're born into. Especially in the age of the Internet, when we can all make ourselves heard and come together like never before.
This is going to be a very political blog. There's no getting around that. Life itself is political. You can't exist in this world without being directly affected on a daily basis by politics.
So you can expect me to be sharing my views on a lot of political issues, pretty much all the time.
But this isn't going to be a blog just about politics. This is going to be about life as I find it. I'll write about college life, about movies, music, books, or television shows that catch my interest. I'll write about my friends and family. I'll definitely be writing about hot guys. Sexuality is just as big a part of our lives as politics. In fact, the two are very much intertwined these days, especially if you happen to be a gay guy or a lesbian.
So, if you're someone who's going to be offended by political views that are decidedly to the left of the majority of Democrats currently holding office, this blog may not be your thing. If you think George W. Bush is doing a decent job, or if you think John Roberts is going to be a hell of a good Chief Justice, you're not going to find much here at Seth in the City to agree with.
On the other side of the coin, if you think the Democrats in Congress are doing a good job, if you think Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are excellent Minority Leaders, if you think Hillary Clinton is a Liberal, then you, too, will find yourself without a lot to agree with here.
Democrat is no longer synonymous with liberal, if indeed it ever truly was. There are some true liberals holding elected office nationally as Democrats, but they're in the minority of the Minority party. Our Congress is made up of the Conservatives and the Centrists, with a smattering of liberals here and there.
So you won't find me patting Democrats on the back just because they serve with a D after their names and aren't as bad as the other guys. 'Not as bad' is not good enough.
And if you're someone who just can't stand to read a blog in which a gay guy dishes on hotties, hit the road. I like guys, and I'm going to be talking about them a lot.
Just to fill you in on my 'type' of guys, I should say that I'm mostly attracted to dark haired guys. Chest hair is a definite turn on, but not an absolute necessity. Think Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, Mark Ruffalo. Hot guys in glasses and/or with accents get bonus points.
Of course, if I'd been writing this blog a few years back, you'd be surprised at how different my tastes were. I preferred smooth blond guys back then. Think Ryan Phillippe, think Hayden Christensen.
My tastes moved from the rather bland, safe teen-idol type guys to the sort of guys who you could actually imagine fucking as I grew more comfortable with being gay and being a sexual human being.
But that's the fun thing about life. We don't stay the same. We grow, we change, we learn. At least, we're supposed to. Maybe someone should clue Bush & co in on this?
Nothing is really off limits here. You'll find me talking about just about anything that comes to mind.
Tomorrow I'll be adding some links to some excellent political blogs I frequent, as well as some other sites, so check back for that.
Right now, I've got a TON of reading to do for my classes tomorrow, so I should get to it.
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